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Author Topic: advice for converting  (Read 2391 times)

Eliza

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advice for converting
« on: Feb. 12, 2009, 05:22 AM »

Hi
I have a couple of questions. I feel drawn to Islam and have been researching converting for months. My problem is that i know my family would be very against it if they knew. I come from a white/christian english background and know my family and friends would not accept me as a muslim. And i am also worried about marriage. Do brothers consider marriage to converts? Or do they prefer to only be serious about someone who is muslim from birth?
thanks in advance!
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Anonymous

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Re: advice for converting
« Reply #1 on: Feb. 12, 2009, 07:40 AM »

Eliza you should visit our sister site: http://www.themadina.com which is a forum on all Islamic topics which is probably more helpful to you. There are also a number of converts on that site as well. As for marriage, yes of course brothers do consider marriage to converts. In fact... probably more than you would think because many times converts are better adherents to Islam and many brothers also feel that they have less "cultural baggage" and "expectations".  Nevertheless, I would be a little cautious if brothers immediately approach you after conversion. Some do think they can get away with more stuff (like thinking they can use a new sister without giving her rights because she doesn't know any better) So, find your footing in Islam first, before getting into marriage!!
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Anonymous

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Re: advice for converting
« Reply #2 on: Feb. 14, 2009, 10:46 PM »

salaam sis


if you use facebook they actually have a group for revert sisters. its pretty cool. i know a few reverts, and at first its lonely, i know a few made sure they had stable relationships within the muslim community before reverting. and if things were to turn out for the worst and teh family rejected them they had a second family to go to.
i have one friend she is a mature lady converted 6 years ago. has many muslim friends but her family rejected her, her husband who was algerian even rejected her and so did her kids and parents. they are slowly contacting her again and she is open to that although she is hurt but its not going to be easy. i mean some sisters alhamdulilah parents stuck by them even though they didnt approve but some parenst rejected them
but as long as you have a good relationship with sisters they will be there for you whenever you need them. :D
good luck.


oh and born muslim men love revert sisters, especially the arabs from middle east. my friends mother is english a revert and she married an egyptian. i think muslim men think that the reverts are going to be more into the religion and deen then born muslimahs. sometimes that is true.



jazakallah khier, nice to meet you sis :D
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Anonymous

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Re: advice for converting
« Reply #3 on: Feb. 15, 2009, 12:43 AM »

Salaam,

Just to answer the marriage side of things. Yes, the brothers do consider marrying a convert, very much so.
But as the other sister has advised, its definitely best to find your footing in Islam itself first so you have a good 360 degree view of things

All the best
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Jeremy

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  • Posts: 42
Re: advice for converting
« Reply #4 on: Feb. 15, 2009, 05:37 AM »

It's true that it won't be easy, but once you see and understand the truth it's even harder to go back to your comfort zone and pretend you don't know what you know just because it's more convenient.
As for whether brothers consider marriage to converts, it certainly should not have an effect on your decision. However, I can tell you that a lot of Muslim brothers would not only consider it, but maybe prefer it. There is one catch though, I for one would not like a woman to convert for me, I would like her to convert out of her own conviction, and then I would consider marriage. Having it the other way around just seems like a temporary thing.
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Anonymous

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Re: advice for converting
« Reply #5 on: Aug. 25, 2009, 05:46 PM »

I reverted to Islam in November 2009. It has not been an easy task. I am black and I live in FL. I come from a predominantly Christian family. They DO NOT EXCEPT ISLAM and Jesus is Lord...all that good stuff.

I don't see many Muslimahs  except when I go to the Walmart or Sams Club. Even then there are only 1 to 4. I even tried to go back to church trying to please my family...That didn't last long because I have been opened up to the TRUTH OF ISLAM...Ash hadu an la ilaha ill allah. Sometimes I cry during salah not just because my family shuns me but because they are lost. But my trauma doesn't stop there....When I am out people will ask me if I'm cold because of my dress and others call me terrorist and Taliban. It hurts my feelings. Even in the work place they come in talking about them darn muslims and then ask me my opinion and then I tell them I am Muslim too they look at me like I am crazy. >:(

I am covered but I don't wear my hijab in the work place...I work in an all Christian atmosphere. I wasn't Muslim when I took the job 3 years ago. I have been praying that Allah puts me in a work place that I can be confortable wearing my Hijab and that I won't be like a threat to others. I have met a few sisters along the way and they are a great help to me but they don't live near me. ;)

As far as the men, there are many Muslim men willing to take on wives even if they are new to Islam you just have to be very careful....MAKE ABSOLUTELY SURE THEY DON'T NEED A GREEN CARD! Many of them will trick you into marriage and after you are married they hit you with the whole green card bit...Don't just ask demand to see proof. :(
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Anonymous

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Re: advice for converting
« Reply #6 on: Feb. 16, 2010, 05:22 PM »

yeah of course! but dnt let anyone take advantage of u cause ur a convert! :)
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