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Author Topic: Sisters would you marry a brother...  (Read 3812 times)

Muslimah21

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Sisters would you marry a brother...
« on: Feb. 14, 2009, 10:40 PM »

would you marry a muslim man who had a past life?? you know what i mean... had girlfireinds etc etc.
If you knew but he didnt tell you what would you do? or if he tells you shortly after meeting you what would you say to him. yes or no?

just curious, becuase i have always said no, and people are always given me stick about it saying its his past. but i personally feel having such a past makes him more likely to commit adultry during marriage... and there has been evidence to show this. sometimes the saying a lepoard never changes its spots is quiet true. :S
I know that perhaps reduces the number of potential partners for me from 90% to 10% lol. but eh i dont care, i dont want to compramise my beliefs and end up regretting it. i mean i go by the motto i havnt done anything 'stupid' so i expect the same of my partner. am i right or am i right? lol



jazakallah khier
:D
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MzCBox

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Re: Sisters would you marry a brother...
« Reply #1 on: Feb. 24, 2009, 03:34 PM »

Well sister maybe in your case you deserve someone as innocent as yourself, and perhaps if you did end up with someone who had some hectic past you may always look down upon him, which of course wouldn't help your life or his.

But as for me and a good few other sisters who I know, we view it as just that 'a past', as long as they guy has reformed or is willing to reform, why not give it a shot. 

And Allah (swt) knows best!
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layla79

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Re: Sisters would you marry a brother...
« Reply #2 on: Apr. 22, 2009, 11:45 AM »

I believe that Allah forgives those who repent and return back to Him... even his sins are as big like the seas.... 

so why we humans don't try to forgive and let those guys who had 'pasts' bury it in the past and move forward to changing a better life,,, and I believe that as long as he started to fear Allah and do good deeds(prayer,sunna,etc), he finds a good Muslima who will support, give a chance, believe, trust him, then, he will succeed. InshaAllah. But then, if he finds one who will not believe him and would always criticize him, then he may not make it(A'udhubillah)... rather, he would search again for a better pious woman.

"The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman." as Prophet Muhammad sallalahu alayhi wasallam stated.

This pious woman will help him, they, together will build a place in Jannah inshaAllah.

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Muslimah21

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Re: Sisters would you marry a brother...
« Reply #3 on: Apr. 22, 2009, 02:26 PM »

I wish i could have those qualities, But only Allah is perfect, he is the most forgiven, the one who shows the most mercey. He created us with faults, we are not perfect, we are stuburn beings. There is not such a person who is perfect, only allah perfect. So forgivness is easier said then done. We are human remember
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layla79

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Re: Sisters would you marry a brother...
« Reply #4 on: Apr. 22, 2009, 03:14 PM »

I wish i could have those qualities, But only Allah is perfect, he is the most forgiven, the one who shows the most mercey. He created us with faults, we are not perfect, we are stuburn beings. There is not such a person who is perfect, only allah perfect. So forgivness is easier said then done. We are human remember

Hi Muslimah! :-)

Yes, true. Only Allah is Perfect... but have you read of the hadith that we should at least try to be near to perfection? and besides... a wisdom of forgiveness is only one factor of perfection..

let me reverse it... what about if you put yourself into that man's shoe? What would you pray to Allah..? Maybe... that people around u will accept and forgive... that they give u a chance to prove to them that you are strong and will try to change for the sake of yourself, your loved ones and your God...
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Muslimah21

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Re: Sisters would you marry a brother...
« Reply #5 on: Apr. 25, 2009, 01:28 PM »

Well liek i said, i would not argue the point if the brother had already changed. and did a complete U turn to how he used to be. Khalas i can not say anything against him, expect respect him.
Its the brothers who havnt made a change, and still act as they used to and in most cases quiet proud of his past conquests. I had one person like this propose to me, and then i thought to myself do i have Stupid Hijabi written across my forehead?

"Believing women are for believing men"
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abeeda

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Re: Sisters would you marry a brother...
« Reply #6 on: Nov. 29, 2009, 07:09 AM »

then i thought to myself do i have Stupid Hijabi written across my forehead?

no sis you dont,
if he had a very dirty past i would not go near him either, almost everyone has a skeleton in his closet but some skeletons are just to big they dont even fit into the closet!!!!
it wont be fair to either party if one of them looks down on the other and is not happy with his past, so it is better to go for wat you can tolerate
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Muslimah21

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Re: Sisters would you marry a brother...
« Reply #7 on: Dec. 01, 2009, 06:43 PM »

Wallahi i would not look down upon him. I am not arragont and i am not perfect myself. so astagfirallah i am not like that. But i am saying i would be insecure, becuase its proven that many men who lived that way do return to thier old habits. SO i am worried for my future relationship and for my children. This has nothing to do with being better then him. Its purely that the past can come back and bite you and i have seen it many times.

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SisterGirl

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Re: Sisters would you marry a brother...
« Reply #8 on: Dec. 17, 2009, 06:24 PM »

Marry a brother who had a past life..girlfriends etc? I think you mean a life period. We are not perfect and being in a relationship married or not is a very real and common reality. If it was something that he has moved away from and had been practicing his deen for some time then yes. You are not always ( or most of the time) going to know what their past relationships consisted of. Unless they choose to tell you, and likely the less flattering ones will be left out. If he is still having relationships while looking for a wife (oh yeah, believe it) he is in the dunnya and you dont want him anyway.  :P
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