Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
|Question about converting|
|05/09/01 at 01:06:51|
|Hello future brothers and sisters, god-willing :)|
Since I have been spending so much time with my sister(serena) I have read a few books on Islam. I've heard beautiful lectures by Hamza Yusuf. I have read the Koran, some of it. I have even prayed a few times with my sister eventhough I'm not sure exactly what i'm doing. I am positive that islam is "the" truth. And I feel in my heart that I am going to convert. I have some problems though. As you know my family does not talk to serena since she converted. My husband accepts her choices but I don't think that he would accept it from me. He is a devout catholic and would not like me converting to islam. In fact he would probably begin to hate serena for speaking with me about it. Seeing my sister as ill as she is, and seeing how devoted she is too her religion it is inspiring to me. She has her weak moments, many within the last couple of days, but she never speaks bad about Allah or islam. She says that it saved her life? Seeing her go through so much pain has made me realize that life is short and that I might not have tomorrow to change my life, to "save me".
But how would I handle converting with my husband? Serena says that a muslim woman cannot marry a man that is not muslim. Does this mean that I would have to divorce him? I have 3 sons with him. It would be very hard on me. I know he won't convert. I would speak to me sister about this but I don't want to put any other pressure on her. Can any of you please answer these questions?
I hope Allah guides me as he did with my sister, and that he heals her and gives her strength to overcome her suffering.
Can I get my own username but with the same email address?
|Re: Question about converting|
|05/09/01 at 01:38:34|
I can't remember when but someone posted a question like this before -- about what they should do in a situation like this. They were married as well but wanted to become Muslim but did not think their spouse would take it too well and didn't want to convert if it ruined their family life. I think what what was written after that was that in a delicate situation like that it is really difficult to make a real Islamic judgement and that it would be best to ask someone really knowledgable.
But some other people also posted and pointed out that it is so important to become Muslim -- as you said life is so short and that all the other obstacles are secondary to becoming muslim -- in essence that it's better to live in sin than be someone who rejects God completely by not being a Muslim. Belief is something in your heart...if you believe there is no God but one God and that Muhammad is his Messenger you ARE a Muslim in belief. To fulfill this belief and to show it's true all of the rest of the practice follows and that is something you can work on inshaAllah. Perhaps you can take shahadah with sr serena and someone else as your witnesses and then slowly over time help your husband understand what Islam is and it's beauty.
God willing, I'll try to ask my imam about this question this weekend and see what he says.
and God knows best...
PS- About the username, you can just click on the register button and register yourself...an email is sent to you with your username and password. The first time you log in with that username and password you can click on "change profile" and change your password to something new.
|Re: Question about converting|
|05/09/01 at 01:33:41|
[quote]I am positive that islam is "the" truth.[/quote]
The most important thing to realize here is that if you are convinced that Islam is the truth, there is no reason to delay taking the shahadah. Everything else is secondary. If you take one step towards Allah, he will run to you. I know what you are going through (I have been Muslim for 4 years) and telling my mom was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but Allah made it easy for me and she took it better than I expected. In short, although your family situation is different, you have witnessed first hand how we can't take life for granted. This is why the most important thing for you is to enter Islam. As for your husband, that is a question best left to a scholar. It is true that muslim women can't marry non-muslims, however plenty of women in the time of the Prophet [saw]accepted Islam and remained married to polytheist husbands who later entered Islam as well. My advice is to not worry about these secondary things and "don't delay, take shahadah today!" It is my hope that next time you post you will give us the greeting of peace and announce that you are a Muslim.
|Answer about reverting|
|05/09/01 at 11:58:57|
Peace and e-Greetings be upon you Almost-Sister Cindy.
Or rather, Sister Cindy, who just hasn't realized she
is ALREADY a sister.
These kinds of situations are resolved through decisions.
NOT logical decisions, EMOTIONAL decisions.
You may be considering Islam initially because you
LOVE your sister.
You may be resisting Islam officially because you
LOVE your children and your Hubby LOVES YOU and only
wants what is best for you.
You hubby may NOT love your sister, so thinking it out
Logically, it may just be MUCH EASIER for your hubby
to accept/respect/even encourage Serena in Her Islam.
But YOUR CASE is different. Your Hubby loves YOU and
married YOU not your sister afterall, Eh?
The MOST DEVOUT CATHOLIC of all just did something
extra-ordinary in the past few days, he entered a
masjid and PRAYED. YES, he PRAYED.
That MOST DEVOUT CATHOLIC of course, was The POPE.
IF ISLAM is good enuff for the POPE to respect,
what about regular simple CATHOLIC folk??
My best friend growing up is Agnostic.
His wife is CATHOLIC.
THEY respected Me and they RESPECT Islam, they
asked me to be the BEST MAN at the wedding, even
thought I AM A MUSLIM. Of course I did it and her
entire CATHOLIC family I met, counsins, uncles, autie's
et al learned about Islam quite a bit during the after
Your hubby might be mad for a while, that'll be the
way he NEEDS to handle what you're about to do.
It WILL pass, InshAllah. And eventually, not today,
not even next year, but eventually, He'll accept
You as a MUSLIM.
In 1993 I was in L.A. on Business, Juma/Friday came and
it just happened the Cab I hailed was driven by a
Muslim who was on his way to Juma. He wouldn't let me pay
for the ride, both ways. (May Allah forgive his sins.)
So together, we went to Masjid Omar-al-Khattab just
across the street from USC.
Being in the Second line or so, I overheard this
conversation between the Imam and someone from the
Dawah program at the Masjid, asking whether the
sister should take Shahada BEFORE or AFTER the Qhutbah?
What if this woman had died while waiting for the
Qhutbah to end when she had planned to take Shahada??
"...Well, she wants to take shahada? we better do
this now, because we don't know what will happen.
Her time may be up!"...is what I remember the Imam saying.
I quickly snapped this picture as the WOMAN became
our SISTER in Islam in L.A.
(I just went hunting for this above pic, found it,
scanned it in, uploaded it et voila Alhumdulillah,
I knew this picture would come in handy one day;) )
WOW! I thought at the time. Cool eh? I can still remember
Her voice and words as she repeated the words of the
Shahada as instructed by the Imam.
DO IT ASAP!
In the Qur'an, Allah tells ALL HUMANKIND, that no soul
is given a burden it cannot bear.
IF YOU couldn't handle this situation, Allah would
not have given it to you!
IF YOUR HUBBY couldn't handle this situation, Allah
would not have given you as his Wife. eh?
Take Shahada, in front of the few muslims your are close
to at least and then figure out the rest as you go along.
Don't worry, you'll never be alone Cindy.
There's 1.7 Billion of us rooting for whatever you decide!
Your alomst-Bro in T.O. (toronto ontario)
~ HiMY! ~
p.s. Sister Cindy just sounds.....[i]right[/i].
|Re: Question about converting|
|05/09/01 at 12:32:47|
You have already become Muslim, so the Question, "should I become Muslim" is irrelevant to you. What you are asking us is should you tell your husband and others that you are Muslim and should you leave your husband?
While I was studying Fiqu I used to have big arguments with my teachers and other students about this issue, cause I felt that they were trying to fiddle with Allah's laws by not stating things clearly.
What your sister told you is correct, she is a good lady, don't let any one tell you otherwise. The fact that you recognise Allah as your creator is clear, so for you when you state your Shahadah, you are just telling him that you do. You have already made lodes of shahadahs each time you state you recognise that the deen delivered by Mohammed has come from the same source as the deen delivered by Jesus, Moses and the over 200 000 others Allah has sent. One more shahdah wont hurt.
The Question of obedience to Allah's laws only comes after the shahdah, before the shahdah it is meaningless. Cause the shahdah is your recognition that Allah is the only one worthy of obedience. The laws have nothing to do with entering Islam, cause some one who obeys all the laws of Islam, and does not consider Islam to be the true faith, is doing it for the wrong reasons, and is wasting his deeds. Even if you were to tell me that you are a habitual murderer, and you are not sure that you could stop, I would tell you to do the shahadah first, then try stopping. What ever acts you might do after you say your shahdah Allah might forgive you, all you need to do is recognise what Allah says is wrong, is wrong and repent to your lord for doing it.
Others might say bad things to you, I mean both Muslims and non Muslims. But remember what the created think of you is worthless, all that matters is what your lord thinks of you. So do what you can to try and obtain his pleasure.
I have a friend who is keeping his conversion secret for now, cause if certain people find out he is Muslim he would be killed. We started giving him dawa long before he became Muslim and I think like most people he started believing in it as soon as the dawa started. The problem was people from his community believe killing Muslims is a part of faith. So getting him to take shahdah took a long time. He did finally take shahadah and now he prays and stuff. But it could have ended differently if his time of death came before his shahadah.
This issue you mentioned really gets me, cause I have given dawa to so many people who say they believe in Islam, but say they are not ready to become Muslim. The reasons they give is that they are not ready for the shariah as they can't be certain that can give up drink, fornicators, crime or violence. The fact I keep trying to make them understand is that the shariah does not come before the shahdah. Only our prophet was perfect, we all sin, even the best of us, what separate the bad people from the good, is that the good people repent after they sin. And the good people are not so arrogant as to say they are right and god was wrong for making what they regard as good unlawful.
The reason Allah created sin, is if we do it, and repent, he will forgive us. So what ever things that Allah has made illegal for you and you feel you can't give up, this should not effect your shahada.
From what you said about your sister, I like her, I wasn't sure many people like her still existed, from my experience most people seem to not like stating parts of Islam the person being spoken to wont like to here. If there were more people like her the world would be a better place. I hate it when I ask some one a question, and people try not to answer thinking that I will be offended by the answer, or that I am not ready for it. We should not be ashamed of any part of Islam, it is the truth, people who refuse to admit what is completely clear should be the ones who are ashamed.
I will clarify what your sister has told you. In this present Shariah, a Muslim women can only be married to a Muslim man, and a Muslim man can only be married to a Muslim women, or some one from the book.
You don't need to obtain divorce, but your marriage is kind of suspended. If he becomes Muslim you don't need to remarry him as your marriage before Islam becomes valid with his exceptance of Islam.
Whether you decide to leave him or not, or even if you don't want any one to know that you have become Muslim, the most important thing is you have to say your shahdah, as Allah has chosen to show you that Islam is the truth. So for you ignorance of the truth is no excuse, as you believe in what is clearly true.
Asalm walakum, I really respect your sister now, I read what she said to you.
|Re: Question about converting|
|05/09/01 at 17:57:16|
I know that the wife of one of the chinese emperors was muslim
and she built this really beautiful mosque..anybody know about her?
i think you should tell your husband that the vaticans doctrine now is that muslims do go to heaven unlike atheists..
|Re: Question about converting|
|05/09/01 at 19:19:59|
sister cindy, you may already knwo this but i though its worth mentioning...
Allah guided you to Islam.. whatever form/instruments/vehicles this guidance came in, the thing that they all have in common is that they are from Allah, and Allah alone... there have been more cases that we can count since the time of Adam alayhis salaam of even the biggest enemies of the messages of the Prophets (peace be upon them) eventually were guided by Allah to acceptance of His will. the people during the time of prophet Muhammad [saw] rejected, cursed, banished, even tried to kill him... but he returned to them in peace and soon almost all of the people who were once his enemies accepted Islam. so ya see, Allah has His ways.. its our duty to turn to him in any situation for His help and guidance and not lose hope... basically, realize that it may not be true that your husband will [i]never[/i] accept Islam...
so inshallah keep making duaa for your husband (as we will to inshallah) and keep doing what you can to turn him gradually to understanding... beyond that, its simply up to him and more importantly, Allah. so yeah.. go take shahadah! asap! :) 'tie your camel then trust in Allah' as the prophet [saw] said. we will be here for ya for anythign that we can support you in, cause thats what muslims do 8-) and please do keep us updated... you are in our duaas :)
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