Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
|05/09/01 at 09:58:03|
|Dear Brothers and Sisters,|
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu!
May Allah (swt) forgive me for what I am about to say, but...
I am So ANGRY!!!!
For the last few days I was/am very depressed. I have had bad news after bad news. All I did was stay in bed and stare off into space, shutting off the whole world, even my daughter. My sister was here to help me and we stayed up until 3:30 a.m. talking and she finally convinced me to go out to the park and take a *breather* this morning. So she dropped me off at the park and then took my daughter to breakfast.
I was sitting on the park bench writing in my journal and a man, maybe around 30 sat on a bench next to mine. He started to ask me if I wasn't hot "wearing all those clothes". (it's going to be almost 100 degrees today) I politely said "no". Then he asked me what I was writing. I said it was "personal". I got up and moved away to another bench on the other side of the park. He walked over to me and stood in front of me and said "what's the matter? are you too good to speak with someone who's not *like you*?" Again, I politely asked him to leave me alone and said that if he didn't then I would call the police. At this point he walked away...but then, about 10 minutes later he came back and stood in front of me again. I did not look at him. I was about to get up and run away....when, he SNATCHED the scarf off of my head, pulling a lot of my hair out with it!!!!!!!
My immediate reaction? I slapped him!!!! Very, very hard!!! I have been abused once before and there is no way in---- that I will EVER let another man lay his hands on me....NEVER!!!!!!
I have been through WAY too much the last few weeks to put up with this ignorance. I immeidately called the police on my cell phone. In fact, HE was going to press charges on ME for slapping HIM! (A slap that took the redness 20 minutes to disappear on his face) Good! Luckily, the Deputy Sheriff that came out to the scene was a friend of a friend of mine and he just took the report and then took me home.
UGH!!!! I am SO ANGRY! How dare this ignorant (*%(&%(& come to me and treat me this way! If I didn't have one ounce of sense about me I would gather up a group of brothers to go and beat the #%$*% out of him!!!! But what would that solve? NOTHING! So, what do I do now??
Thanks for letting me vent...I have to go now, I feel like I'm going to be sick. :(
P.S. This is not like me to get so angry...maybe it's the illness, I don't know. I'm sorry for venting like this. :(
|05/09/01 at 10:35:39|
Get his *** kicked!! ):(
I'm sorry that it happened. :(
I don't know what to say cuz I'm so angry!!!
|05/09/01 at 11:00:05|
Peace and e-Greetings be upon you Sister Serena,
From your Madina Brother, me, first off I want to
encourage you to keep venting.
If you can't vent here, in the way you have so far,
you'll get depressed.
Depression is caused by THREE things:
2. Hurt/Anger (physical or mental or emotional or other ways too)
3. or Frustration
But there's a missing ingredient, and that is:
4. NOT VENTING, or in other words, HOLDING IT IN.
If someone has hurt you, and you don't express the hurt,
you're not releasing the hurt, the HURT stays INSIDE you
and guess what? The hurt stays with you inside and keeps
reminding you that it is there and needs to be dealt with.
That reminder is, in a word: DEPRESSION. Another word for
HURT is ANGER. Something or someone made you ANGRY, and
STOICALLY, like many muslims, we just be PATIENT. And hold
it in. The other party gets away with making us ANGRY.
If you've been frustrated by something or someone, AND you
DO NOT express this frustration, or whine about it, or do
something about it, or get mad about it, or re-act to it,
again, you're holding it in.
..and well, the FRUSTRATION again just stays inside of you
growing and growing and growing....and on the outside,
your keep getting depressed and depressed and so on.
VENTING. Serena, if not here, then WHERE?
If not now? then WHEN?
[quote] ....when, he SNATCHED the scarf off of my head, pulling a lot of my hair out with it!!!!!!![/quote]
I ain't no lawyer, but that sounds to me like
PHYSICAL, and dare I say as Hijab is regular part
of Muslim Dress, SEXUAL ASSUALT.
This Kaffir pulled your HAIR OUT?
You slapped him back. He's lucky that's all you did, eh?
I dunno, but I'd contact CAIR and get the
ball rolling with a formal complaint. I remember reading
how they fight for Sisters who don Hijab in the Workplace
with a growing record of success against nasty employers.
Are you up to writing a letter to the editor of your
Paper to in my words: "WARN THE OTHER WOMEN/MOTHERS
of young CHILDREN THAT THE PARK IS NOT EXACTLY SAFE
and to WATCH OUT for THAT GUY." Give a Description if not a name?
Are you up to going on your local radio station's
community news or something like that and 'VENTING'
Serena, if you didn't slap him, he might've done it
again, to another woman, muslim or not.
Perhaps, Allah was teaching this Kaffir not to mess
with Women, and the pain you went through is something
Allah Alone knows is for your benefit, somehow.
Some thoughts from your Madina Bro,
~ HiMY! ~
|05/09/01 at 11:13:13|
Thanks for showing the true Muslim spirit. You've made my day for standing up for yourself and defending the honour of all Muslim women worldwide. I really do admire you. May one above put barakah in your actions.
I hope you are feeling okay and that scumbag hasn't harmed you that much physcially. Please keep in touch with the Madinan family.
And Allah knows best
|05/09/01 at 11:26:33|
|Asalm walakum, the man was clearly a pervert. He was trying something when he first came up to u.|
I think if you can't prosecute him, and have obtained details about him, you should tell as many brothers as possible, mainly the big ones and the syco ones.
|05/09/01 at 12:25:21|
Peace and e-Greetings be upon you Serena and Bro Jehad,
...you should tell as many brothers..mainly...the syco ones.[/quote]
I know this is YOUR thread, so pardon me for saying:
Jehad, the syco ones?
First off, If there are SYCO brothers out there,
they should be working on NOT being SYCO anymore and
becoming a better person and muslim.
SYCO Brothers make for BAD DAWAH.
IF as Muslims we work OUTSIDE the system, be it as it is,
then THAT is the DAWAH others will see.
I HAVE NO DOUBTS that ANY Woman alive would argue that
Sister Serena's 20-minute-red-lasting SLAP of the KAFFIR
was in error.
On the contrary, I would expect, and I am of course a brother,
that her action was courageous.
If those SAME WOMEN then saw some SYCO Brothers handling
the KAFFIR in ahem, SYCO ways, well then, THAT is what
they would associate ISLAM with.
We don't need Tim-McVeigh-Stupidity-Like-SYCO-Actions.
The US System, is STILL a system with due process and rule
of law. RULE OF LAW is of course, one of ISLAM's great
contribution's to world civilization. NOT SYCOization.
Jehad, I'm NOT raggin' on you,
Someone hadda type out what you typed out cuz it's how
Many of us initially feel/felt when reading Sister Serena's
post, NEVER mind what Sister Serena Herself is going through!!
~ HiMY! ~
|05/09/01 at 12:40:38|
|SubhanAllah, Serena, that's crazy. I hope you are not in any more pain from that incident, iA, he sounds like a total chump/idiot/crazed loonie/jailbird. I don't know what the legal ramifications of such an incident would be, given the details you laid out, but subhanAllah, sister, I'm feeling for you.|
As crazy as he sounds, he prob would not have laid off you even if you said something to the effect of, 'I'm not feeling very well right now, and would appreciate some privacy, if you don't mind.' wAllah'alim.
With every difficulty comes ease, we are all examples of that ayah from Allah, I hope your ease comes soon, insha'Allah. SubhanAllah, maybe all these tests coming your way are a way to purify you even more! I hope you/we all pass your/our tests, iA, aameen!
Keep your trust in Allah, He is closer to us than our jugular vein. Every good comes from Him, all evil comes from elsewhere. Like that crazy loony, gosh, I still can't get over that, may Allah protect us from such ignorance, aameen.
|The Honour of a Muslim Woman|
|05/09/01 at 13:40:10|
|Bismillah Al-Rahman Al-Raheem|
Dear Sister Serena,
Assalam alaikum wa rahmatullah.
By Allah (awj), you are a privilege to us. Would that we do right by you always, bi’tihnillah ta’ala. You remind us of what it means to be strong, and surely all that is virtuous is only so because it was a virtue exemplified in the example of the one who was sent to us as the most perfect of examples (saw). Akramak'Allah [may Allah honour you] by this, and allow us to learn from the example of one who has taken as her example, the best of examples (saw). If a single tear of mine was worth as much as the dignity of your pain, I would never cease to weep. When you endure, you endure for the sake of Allah (awj), and when I read about that which you had to endure, I was reminded of the strength that Allah ta'ala has endowed the Muslim woman with. It is as if the preservation of her every sanctity is innate - bi'ithnillah - and what she faces, she faces magnificently, for the sake of none other than the One (awj) for whom every head should be brought low, in prostration.
One time when I was walking with one of my maharem, we walked by three guys, whom had been drinking. It was close to midnight, and the area was deserted. One them insulted her by offhandedly making what he obviously thought was a throwaway remark about her niqaab. In my immediate - though controlled and hidden - fury, as she carried on walking, I stopped cold, turned around and told – not asked – him to repeat what he’d just said. He was taken aback. I repeated myself slowly, "Tell me what you just said," staring directly at him, *through* him, all the while. He stammered again his pithy little insult, as if saying it more quietly would somehow diminish it’s gravity and my hostile disposition. She suddenly realised I was no longer by her side, and she was well aware what I was capable of at this precise moment in time. No one insults my honour (i.e. my Sisters in Islam), no one. Ever.
I moved in towards him, my eyes not averting for a moment my glance from his. I looked him dead in the eye and told him, “You ever insult her like that again and I will kill you. I will hunt you down, and all your friends and kill each and every one of you. I don’t care how many of you there are. Do you understand me?”
His other two sidekicks moved away. There were three of them in total.
To make out like we were suddenly buddies, and how he really respected her, and was just drunk, which is why he didn’t know what he was saying. He even extended his hand out to shake mine, whilst telling me how much he rated “our women” for that, and “more power to’ em. No, I agree with it, I respect it…”
Yeah, whatever. If you don’t think that my honour is worth more to me than your worthless little life, go ahead, and learn the price of my bounty on your mouth. You will not be allowed to get away, never. My Sister in Islam is worth more to me than you, your friends, and your meaningless little lives.
I began forcing him to try and justify why he’d said it, and he desperately tried to convince me he hadn’t really meant it, because he knew from my manner that I was ready to take it all the way. And I was.
The fool started asking me if I knew so and so, who was on the local scene, trying to impress me with his credentials. I told him straight, if I’m not around, and she is alone, and you decide to have some fun at her expense - by taunting her, or making fun of her, or whatever - and I learn about it, I will hunt you down, all of you, and end your lives, each and every dismal one of you. I don’t care.
He got the message, and apologised to her, even offered to shake her hand (she didn’t), and thought he was now my best friend or something.
So, my dear Sister Serena, don’t take it from any such scum. Take whatever measures shar’a allows you, and know that you acted honourably, rightfully, and we are all proud of you, may Allah ta’ala grant you the reward of the most valiant of warriors.
Disregard my reaction, for it was blind rage, albeit restrained. I wasn’t proud of myself, for I potentially put her at risk, had I miscalculated the situation. I don’t think I was thinking in an Islamic manner, even though I was genuine in wanting to protect her honour, and letting him know that the honour of a Muslim woman is not something he might ever mess with, again. And ironically, bi’ithnillah it facilitated some da’wah, which he either acknowledged truthfully, or just to appease me and my chagrin. It was just the action of one who cannot accept that the dignity of a Sister be compromised as if with impunity. That doesn’t mean that if another Brother had, say, taken it, and carried on walking, that it means he tolerated such dishonour, for like I said, I don’t deem my actions laudable, just sincere and from the heart, at that point in time, wal iyadhubillah.
I just wished for you to know that your Brothers consider our Sisters as being jewels that no one is ever allowed to touch, be it by their hands, or their words, a gesture, or a look. We don’t tolerate that the treasure of the Ummah is tainted by filth.
May Allah ta’ala forgive us our faults,
|05/09/01 at 13:17:10|
Serena did the right thing by slapping him. perverts look for easy victims. They like best the easy ones that don't fight back. She tried walking away, she even tried frightening him with the police.
but still he attacked her, that slap probably prevented a greater Assault from happening.
The correct thing to do when attacked, is scream, shouting , make as much noise as possible, and fight back as much as you can and as soon as you can run and ask for help.
They are looking for easy targets, if she told him she is ill, she might as well have said to him, "come and get me, I am a easy target, I'm too ill to fight back". Men who attack women are not looking for a far fight, the harder it is to fight back for the lady the better it is for the attacker.
Sarena, you did right!
Your little brother in England is proud of you.
Tell as many Pysco brothers as possible, if the pervert get a organ removed, my be he will think twice about it next time.
|05/09/01 at 13:41:19|
|SUNHANALLAH i CANT beleive that, but i do, what a retard, good thing u hit slapped him hard, uhgggg just reading that sorta stuff gets me mad! nouha|
|05/09/01 at 13:57:50|
I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through such a horrible experience sister. You can probably file charges of harrassment against him with the police.
Maybe its a good idea for sisters to carry pepper spray or ???
|05/09/01 at 14:02:22|
|peper spray is illigal here, it is considered a fire arm.|
i think in america it is legal, so carry it.
there are other things sisters here can use, but remember if you are going to carry it, and expecially if you are going to pull it out, use it strate away, else he will take it of you and use it against you.
|05/09/01 at 14:17:15|
If that man would have been in India and in particular a city called calcutta, he would have been lynched to death by the public. I mean it. It happens there, even if a lady makes so much as a hint to people around her that someone is either teasing or harassing her, people would jump on him. But Alas USA is a "civilized" country and that man has as much courage to report to police for receving a slap!!!
|05/09/01 at 14:48:30|
|Dear Brothers and Sisters,|
Assalamu alaikum wa rahamatullahi wa barakatuhu.
I was wondering if the sisters on here can tell me whether they would do the same thing if faced with a foolish man like that. Would the sisters slap him, or just walk away? Or maybe do more? I can tell you this, if I was *not* so weak, I would have done a lot more than just slap him...and I would not have felt bad about it.
I don't think that my slapping him would present a negative image about Islam. If I had sat back and done nothing he would have felt like he could walk up to any woman, muslim or not, and be free to touch her, or maybe do more than he did to me!
And what would that say to my sister, the one who after not talking to me for a year has now realized that Islam is the truth and she is ready to take the Shahadah, Subhan'Allah. Am I suppose to show her that we are just to sit back and *take it*? No way!
I have to stand up for myself, not only as a Muslimah, but as a WOMAN! I want to feel *free* to walk, sit, stand, whatever, in the park of my choice without my personal space being invaded by such a creep!
If it's not one thing, it's 20 more. ;)
If it comes down to it I might have to go up against him in court, depending on what the District Attorney does/says. If so, I will keep you updated.
May Allah (swt) protect us all from the evil of this world and keep my faith strong so I'm capable of handling all these tests. Ameen.
|05/09/01 at 15:05:25|
|I was wondering if the sisters on here can tell me whether they would do the same thing ib faced with a foolish man like that. Would the sisters slap him, or just walk away? Or maybe do more?|
Yes I would slap him! And get someone to do a lot more to him too that he would be scared for the rest of his life.
A classmate asked me this semester that he wanted to see my hair and I said politely that he's not related to me so I can't. Then he asked what would I do if he pulled my scarf off of my head. I stood up looked him straight in the face and told him I would kick him where it no man wants to be kicked and I would press charges against him. He was embarrased because the whole class was staring at us. So sisters in Islam out there, stand up for yourself, don't ever let some idiot intimidate you.
Sister Serena press charges against him. Even if it doesn't go anywhere go ahead and do it.
|It is sad|
|05/09/01 at 15:29:12|
It is very sad that there are people out there, muslim or not, that can be so ignorant and abusive. This man not only used physical abuse, but he also used emotional abuse to the extent of him implying that muslims will only talk with other muslims. This is very scary thinking that there are many people such as this man in this world. I hope that you (the woman this happend too) will not suffer too much from this. I know that you are feeling bad for striking him, but I am proud of you for standing up for yourself. Never let anyone have their way with you. Your body, Your mind, Your buisness. Thank you for sharing with us you emotions......do not be sorry for venting. It is more healthy than holding it in. Just remember that you will always have someone to talk to.
May Allah bless you with Peace and Serenity.
|05/09/01 at 15:34:26|
wow nothing like that has ever happenned to me...if a guy came near me and started saying stuff i would get up and leave, heading towards the nearest crowd of people and if he ever tried to touch me i'd start screaming.
sr serena since u've been so ill it might be better that you only go out with some other sister i'm just afraid for you :(
|05/09/01 at 16:41:29|
The incident reminds me of an incident that happened in history.
During the time the prophet saws was in Medina:
A desert woman came on day to the Jews market in the quarter of Bani Qaynuqa seeking to remodel some jewelry at one of thier shops. They persistently asked her to remove her veil, but the woman refused. Passing behind her without her knowledge, one of them tacked her robe with a pin to the wall. When the woman got up to leave, the robe was pulled down and her nakednessexposed. The Jews laughed and the woman cried. Seeing what happened, a Muslim paserby jumped upon the shopkeeper and killed him on the spot. The Jews gathered around the Muslim and likewisse killed him. The Muslim's relatives called for help against the Jews and a general fight between them and the Bani Qaynuqa erupted. After this, little option was left to the Muslims to fight the Jews. In the end the muslims lay siege to Bani Qaynuqa for two weeks till the Jews surrendered unconditionally and submit themselves to the prophet saws for judgement. In the end thew Jews were expelled out of Medina.
Hope your ok Sr Serena and get better real fast, Brother Abu Khaled I think you did the right thing.
And Allah knows best.
|05/09/01 at 17:01:55|
Sister Serena, you are one tough sister! May Allah make you stronger and give you the best in this life and the Next. Ameen.
The slap is not enough. This man needs to be taught a lesson, and preferrably with something that will become and 3ibrah (example) for the other people. Consult CAIR before pressing any charges. They'll point you in the right direction insha Allah. But don't let this matter go easily.
|05/09/01 at 18:47:24|
wow.. mashallah.. sr serena, your action is somethign to be commended... and it makes me angry that someone would do somethign liek that to a muslimah, someone with so much self-respect, and someone worth so much in the sight of Allah... im honestly proud to say that alhamdulillah, i am part of a nation of brothers and sisters who have such a deep, great love and respect for each other, and value modesty and personal rights, the way Allah swt has commanded us to. i personally havent heard of a case like yours before... i cant believe some freak would do that to some random stranger... shows what kind of a society we live in today. as for myself, i feel that it is my duty to stand up for my brothers and sisters, and i would stand up and face anyone who challenges our faith and beliefs, physically if necessary. i dont care if i would have to go out of my way to do it, i would make sure that the world knows that we Muslims stand up firmly for what we believe in.
inshallah, may Allah guide us all, give us the strength to stand up in the face of adversity, protect us from the evils of this world, and to not take 'no' for an answer when it comes to doing what He commanded us to, ameen.
power to the people :)
|05/09/01 at 22:12:06|
|Salamu Aliakom, |
Sister, may Allah protect you from the freaks and kooks that are out there.
After reading your post, one is tempted to take, vigilante DeathWish style action against these criminals. But I don't think that would fall under the realm of Islamic jurisdiction. While I don't agree with Jehad about getting the psycho brothers, taking full advantage of the law (even though it is corrupt in itself) is definatly an excellent idea.
One brother recommended to me that Muslims should learn how to use firearms and even carry them just in case. Of course the "just in case" bit doesn't sound very pleasent, because one in a fit of anger might pull the trigger and then what?
Self defense in the form of martial arts is another option. I'm sure there are all female martial art dojo's out there. I agree with everyone else who recommends NOT to let this matter go by easily.
and Allah knows best
|05/09/01 at 22:50:48|
Man oh man...Sr. Serena, Alhamdulillah I am glad that you are *physically* ok and I'm glad that you stood up for yourself and I'm soo incredibly peeved at this freak that I could scream! Shoo, if a brother got all up in my grill talkin smack like that, I'd have to take him down. Unfortunately, I don't really have any profound advice. All I can really offer are my duas. I sincerely pray that Allah(SWT) rewards you many many many many many^(infinity) fold for all of your hardships. You are a role model not only for converts or women, but for all Muslims struggling fisabilillah. We could learn a lot from your patience, dedication, perseverence and strength. I pray that your daughter inherits these qualities, as I am sure she will, Insha'Allah. And even through this incredibly tough time, you managed to help open the doors of Islam to another person, your sister. This is something that many Muslims don't even accomplish in their entire lives. Subhan'Allah!! Allah is the most just. The righteous will receive their due reward, and the evil-doers will receive their due punishment. I pray that Allah grants you His reward both in this life and the next, Insha'Allah and Ameen.
You are the bomb!! :):)
|05/09/01 at 23:10:33|
Serena, unfortunately the world is full of ignorant people, like the bloke you encountered at the park. I know that is not much of a consolation but, al-hamdolellah that you reacted swiftly and appropriately. What you did in response was very much warranted. I would have kicked his gluteus maximus myself. Don't second guess yourself. You need to press charges and be firm about your rights. This is a serious matter.
I am very sorry that you had to experience something like this. May Allah reward you for your admirable levels of patience and perseverence. And you can come and vent here any time, we are here for you insha'Allah.
|05/10/01 at 00:34:20|
|Dear Brothers and Sisters,|
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu.
Thank you for all of your support! Alhamdulillah, I have all of you to turn to in my time of need! :)
I must have gone through all of the emotions today. :(
When I first came home I was furious, shaking with anger. I was thinking how could this ---- do this to me? Who does he think he is? And then the nerve of him to imply that *I* assaulted him??
Then I began to feel guilty. You see, for me right now it is very hard to walk. It takes me about 10 minutes to walk 50 feet. :( I felt like maybe I made myself an *easy target* by going to the park and sitting alone (something I used to do quite often). Maybe this creep saw me having such a hard time and he took advantage of that. But I have a *right* to go to the park and not be violated!! In pain, or in pure health. I did not show myself that I wanted to be bothered or spoken to. I went there for peace and quiet. To try and come out of, in my sisters words, severe depression. It was the first time that I had been outside in 5 days. And what a welcoming!?!? I can only imagine what I would have felt if my daughter had been there and witnessed such an incident. :(
And then, this evening I began to feel bad about slapping him. I have been in a very abusive relationship before. And I have never felt like hitting can solve anything. But at the moment it happened, the reaction I had was to slap him, so I did. I am not an angry woman at all. I don't know where that slap came from. Maybe it was the frustration I have been building up inside for so long, I don't know. But I felt like, for a moment, that I wanted to apologize to him for hitting him!?!
I am going to press charges on him. I spoke to my friend tonight (the one who knows the deputy) and he said that I will not have charges pressed against me for slapping him because I was defending myself. But he also said that if it is this mans first offense he will get off with nothing more than a *slap* on the hand. What a country! :(
I had to defend myself. Who else is going to stand up for me? In severe pain or not, I feel like I did what is right. But will I go out again by myself? I don't think so :( And that's sad!
I have had two brothers personally telephone me tonight to see if I wanted them to *take care of him*. I don't think it will solve anything. But I don't think the criminal system will either. :(
I'm sure I have much more to say but I'm exhausted and I have to rest. Again, JazakAllah Khair for all of your advice and support. Insha'Allah tomorrow I will be able to think more clearly!
May Allah (swt) bless my Madina family with the best in this life and the next! Ameen.
Wa'assalam, with du'as,
|05/10/01 at 07:06:43|
sarena, you have to take as much action as you can.
for his sake as well as yours and the whole communities.
some one who allows them selves to be oppressed is guilty of two sins.
First one of oppressing them selves by tolerating the oppression.
Secondly for oppressing the oppressor for letting him oppress.
I think your quick slap saved you from a lot worse then just having your Hijab removed. People like that look for easy targets, your slap was your way of telling him you wont make your self easy for him.
|05/10/01 at 07:51:24|
MashaALlah, ukhti.. I'm glad U didn't get physically beaten up or such. But it's sad that such a man exists....
U know sometimes, we feel that ALlah has tested us enough... and we say... OK, Allah... I've learnt what U wanna teach me... but Allah tests us further... only to reveal to us, a higher station of patience, a higher station of strength, a higher station of His closeness, care and love to us, mashaALlah.....
[quote]I was wondering if the sisters on here can tell me whether they would do the same thing if faced with a foolish man like that. [/quote]
Frankly, I don't know what I'll do... but I think at that point of time, perhaps it is best that U have acted that way.... Like U, I don't get angry easily..., but sometimes, our behaviour changes and becomes relevant to the situation.
I once experienced something like this before... well, a couple of boys came over to us (4 of us) while we were waiting for the bus. One of them, slapped me on the head and ran away.... they came later again with sticks (the bus was soooo late!) and we went to the nearby phonebooth, and wanted to call the police, but they opened the door and spat on another sister... 2 of us gave a short chase... we then, ran back home and called the brothers. The brothers came... looked for the boys around the neighbourhood but they can't find them. I know the brothers won't like assinate them... but like Abu Khaled... give them a fair and stern warning....
Reminds me of a story, which happened during the time of the Khalifah Muktasama... a Muslim lady was "disturbed" by a Jew... I think he lifted her skirt or something.. and the lady cried out "Wa Muktasama!!" and when Muktasama heard abt her, he sent out an army... If anyone has the full story, please post it....
[i]"And those who, when an oppressive wrong is inflicted on them, (are not cowed but) help and defend themselves. The recompense for an injury is an injury equal thereto (in degree): but if a person forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from Allah: for Allah loves not those who do wrong.
But indeed if any do help and defend themselves after a wrong (done) to them, against such there is no cause of blame. The blame is only against those who oppress men with wrongdoing and insolently transgress beyond bounds though the land, defying right and justice: for such there will be a Penalty grievous.
But indeed if any show patience and forgive, that would truly be an exercise of courageous will and resolution in the conduct of affairs."
Surah As Shura 42:39-42" [/i]
Sister Serena, please make du'a for that man, may Allah erase such ignorance and wickedness in his heart... if this world's justice system can't teach him a lesson.. then, may Allah show him the way so that he won't repeat this to others, inshaALlah.
Take care :)
|05/10/01 at 10:02:37|
|Dear Brothers and Sisters,|
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu.
I regularly seek forgiveness from Allah (swt), friends and family for my actions, whether I did something wrong or not. And I *can* forgive this man for doing what he did to me. Mainly because if I seek forgiveness and hope/pray that I am *forgiven*, then I *must*, *morally* forgive him. I don't want to hold grudges. And insha'Allah something will *click* in his head and he will change hiw ways.
But in doing this, how would I still be able to have him prosecuted? How can you forgive someone of their actions yet still punish them? I know that he needs to be *taught* a lesson. But what would be the *correct* way of doing it? Through him directly? Or through alternate means, like Cair? Or sending a letter to my local newspaper?
Should someone like this get the *reward* of forgiveness? Maybe it will help him, but maybe not. Maybe he will just think that he can go out and do it again, and be forgiven yet again. It's hard to tell the mental state of this person, but he is clearly *not right*. :(
I don't know what is best...Am I basing my actions upon my anger, or Shar'iah. How far should I go? What would you all do, when the anger, frustration, contempt, sadness, etc. disappears?
|05/10/01 at 10:23:28|
|Sarena, I think there are better targets then a pervert for you to offer your forgiveness to. Your brothers desire your prayers as well. Especially me. |
He wasn't even satisfied with humiliating you by revealing your nakedness by pulling off your hijab where all can see, he wanted to prosecute you on top of that. You have every right to feel angry, if you were not angry then that would mean there is some thing wrong with you.
If you are worried about harming him, the most harm you could do to him is let him get away with it.
A Alim was teaching us about 'amar bin marauf' once, he gave the example to us:
If some one was committing a munkur that effects society, and the only way you could prevent him from doing so was to kill him, then that is what you should do, not only for societies sake but his, as killing him will prevent him from continuing to harm him self by harming society.
When a habitual rapist is killed, it is a act of mercy for him, not one of vengeance, cause with every rape he does, he is making his eternal life worse, so by killing him, he has been prevented from ever harming his afterlife by such evil deeds ever again.
If he gets punished so bad he would never think about doing this again, he might come back and thank you.
My dad used to own a shop, a few criminals came in to sell him stolen goods, they got beaten up. And they went off, when they came back the police were waiting for them. one of them came back to thank my dad after he got out of prison.
|05/10/01 at 18:05:25|
Serena, this is my advice:
1. Don't take the law in your hand.
2. Contact CAIR asap.
3. Follow through with the charges.
4. Your forgiveness will cause no good but harm, because it will give him the green light to perform this behavior with any other aisha, fatima or maryam. Make him realize how horrendous his crime was. And make him an example for the other people.
I wish I had the time to write more ...
|05/10/01 at 18:49:48|
|wow subhanallah, can you believe the nerve of some people?? arright well my first reaction when hearing this, and whenever i hear about situations like this that sisters have to go through, all i can think is "wheres the bat at so i can represent" but then again we're stooping down to their level, and i gotta remind myself that theyre gonna get theres when the time comes inshallah! |
and when hearing of these situations, subhallah, all i can say is mad props go out to the sisters i really mean that! its hard enuff to wear hijab without the the jerks makin it harder by actually sayin or even goin so extreme to the point of *doin* stuff, all they need is a nice fist to their their mouth!
well one thing i propose and think is a very good idea to avoid these situations and even more scarier ones is to do what some of the brothers and sisters mentioned already, to walk with fellow sisters. and expescially in a college or university environment, its *crucial* to have a buddy system after classes, it might sound dumb, but theres been countless instances where sisters were harrassed in colleges, to the point where i heard a story of a sister beaten to death by skin heads subhanallah. and other colleges who have set this up, it really works... i just wanted to say that, cuz i really have the utmost respect for those sisters out there dealin with such a crazy social environment wearing hijab! you sisters are def better then i am subhanallah! and therefore i dont want you guys to go through any pain like you guys sometimes have to go thruogh, its so very sad...
but as for what you went through sister, inshallah ill def keep you in dua, and every other sister or brother who has faced harrassment in this world. its really sad, and i only wish i could do more to stop such savages from actin this way, i know theyre gonna get whats comin to them, i just wish i could speed up the process sometimes ;-)
your brother in islam,
|05/11/01 at 06:29:18|
Dear sister Serena...
[quote]But in doing this, how would I still be able to have him prosecuted? How can you forgive someone of their actions yet still punish them? I know that he needs to be *taught* a lesson. But what would be the *correct* way of doing it? Through him directly? Or through alternate means, like Cair? Or sending a letter to my local newspaper?
Should someone like this get the *reward* of forgiveness? Maybe it will help him, but maybe not. Maybe he will just think that he can go out and do it again, and be forgiven yet again. It's hard to tell the mental state of this person, but he is clearly *not right*.[/quote]
I hope my post haven't caused U any distress. I am not in the position, and neither do I intend to question whether what U have done is good or bad....
But it is to give the other side of the coin and share the dynamism that Islam has. Sometimes forgiveness comes later... and perhaps... much much later. U have the right to the feel the way you do... afterall, we're human....
Forgiving someone doesn't equate to non-punishment. How many times does the mother forgive her child, yet punish him to teach him?
For what is justice then? Justice is not only to you... but justice to himself and justice to the society, and justice to the situation.
Whether such a person *deserves* forgiveness... well that is your prerogative and noone else, and U can take all the time U want....
I hope I haven't been contradictory... I don't know... perhaps there r others who can explain better, inshaAllah.
And whether U want to press charges, inform CAIR etc... well... I don't see the reason why U shouldn't....
Leaving U in Allah's keep, my sister :-)
|05/11/01 at 11:49:19|
My humble opinion is that Sr. Serena must take care of her health first. That has to be the priority.
|05/11/01 at 14:01:31|
Peace and e-Greetings be upon you all on this Friday Afternoon,
I was thinking since last night about this thread,
it is as if one of our [i]Own[/i] has been
assaulted and we're all rightly concerned, offended,
worried, and all the rest of the emotions expressed
in all the posts that are before this one.
I think we are all mostly HURT and ANGRY
and we really want to DO something about it, all
of us in our own way.
Well, What I was thinking about since last night:
All the Palestinian Muslim (and Christian) women who
have had this and MORE done to them in occupied Palestine.
Or the Muslim Women in Bosnia.
Perhaps, we have an inability to understand and
experience these injustices so far away, in another
But HERE, in [i]our[/i] Madina city place, we feel it.
It's kinda like, Madina somehow ain't [i]Safe[/i] anymore.
We can't ignore it.
We know Sister Serena.
We read her posts.
As She reads ours.
ummm.... that's all I got to type.
~ HiMY! ~
|05/11/01 at 15:42:41|
|05/12/01 at 17:53:53|
This is such an upsetting picture. 'They plot and plan but Allah is the best of Planners.' (not exact translation, nor all of it, don't know what verse it is exactly.)
|05/21/01 at 19:06:31|
|alsalamu alaykum wa rhmat Allah wa barakatuhu|
i hope insha'Allah ur all in a rising state of iman:)
sis serena, i came across this article (from islaam.com) and thought of the situation u went through...may Allah be with u always
walsalamu alaykum wa rhmat Allah wa barakatuhu:-)
Imam Ibn Taymiyyah
Public Policy in Islamic Jurisprudence
© 1996 Khayat Book and Publishing Company
Retaliation in connection with dishonouring others is also lawful. If a man curses another man or invokes Allah to maltreat him in some way, the other man may retaliate (return same for it); similarly, when one abuses some other one by mentioning certain demerits of his. Forgiveness (in all these cases), however, is better. Allah, be He exalted, has said: "And the recompense of evil is punishment like it; but whoever forgives and amends, his reward is with Allah. Surely He loves not the wrongdoers. And whoever defends himself after being oppressed, these it is against whom there is no way (of blame)." (42:40-41). The Prophet, peace be upon him, has said: "The two who abuse each other - whatever they may say - he who has begun is to blame, unless the oppressed (abused preliminarily) has retaliated in excess: has exceeded (lawful) reparation (satisfaction for wrong).
An insult which does not constitute a lie is one which tells of the shameful behavior of a man, or one in which such a man is called son of a bitch or an ass or the like. (In this case retaliation in the same terms is permitted). But if a man ascribed to another man demerits which are not known of the other man, the other man is not permitted to retaliate in the same manner. Even if the former has accused the latter - unjustly, however - of disbelief and debauchery, the latter has no right to return the same accusation to the former. And if the former has cursed the father or the tribe of the latter, the latter has no right to curse the father or the tribe of the former, since the father and the tribe of the former were not those who cursed him. In this respect, Allah, be He exalted, has said: "O you who believe, be upright for Allah, bearer of witness with justice; and let not hatred of a people incite you not to act equitably. Be just, that is nearer to observance of duty. And keep your duty to Allah. Surely, Allah is aware of what you do." (5:8) Allah has (in this verse) enjoined the Muslims that their hatred, (even) to the infidels, should not cause them to be unjust, as He has said: "Be just; that is nearer to the observance of duty."
If the dishonouring insult was forbidden because it would inflict some personal injury on the man cursed, a retaliation with similar terms is permitted: if a man invokes Allah that an evil should befall another man, the other man may invoke Allah that the same evil befall the first man. But if the dishonouring insult, on the other hand - was forbidden because it violates a commandment of Allah - such as telling a lie - no retaliation whatever is permitted. Very many of the jurists agree to this. (They say: If a man) has killed another man by burning or submerging in water or by strangling, the guilty may be treated in the same way. But if the offence was a forbidden act, such as (if a man) has forced another to swallow some wine or has violated him (sexually), no retaliation is allowed. Certain jurists have said that the penalty to be executed on the killer mentioned may only be effected with the sword. The foregoing opinion (retaliation in the same way) conforms better, however, with the Book, the Sunna and with justice.
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