A R C H I V E S
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
|08/13/02 at 16:26:26|
Today was very hard for me, and I just wanted to get some support from my Madina family.
I dont know if you all remember when I joined this board.. I was having marriage
problems. My husband was talking about divorce, but alhamdulilah he changed his mind. Since then,
I have had many more problems..and alhamdulilah, I have been being patient. Today,
something horrible happened and I NEED everyone's duas PLEASE. My husband has obsessive
compulsive disorder and takes medicine for it. He has really bad mood swings all the time. Today
he had another. It was really bad. He started talking about divorce again. He was
slamming doors, and even got rid of my pet birds. (I love my birds sooo much and have taught
them so many tricks) Anyways, he opened up the window today, as if he were going to jump. I
live up on the 11th floor.! Well, I caught his arm and stopped him alhamdulilah. He then
sat down, and told me he loved me!? Then, after thinking for some time...he mentioned
divorce again, and asked me what I thought. I told him I dont want a divorce. He then yelled
at me to go to the kitchen and close the door. I didnt at first because I thought he was
going to jump. But then he yelled so much I became afraid..So I left the room and closed
the door and stood right by it. The I heard him open the curtain and window, so I ran to
him as fast as I could screaming. He was already up on the window and he pushed his feet
to jump..!!!!!!! I caught his shirt just im time and pulled him back in. He was sooooo
heavy! Im nervous. Im still shaking. We talked after this happened and I told him we can
divorce and Ill do anything he wants. I even called my mom in America to show him Ill give
him anything he wants. Well, then he changed his mind and wanted me to stay with him. I
told him I cant. I told him I cant handle him jumping out of windows. So then he said he
still wants divorce. I asked me to call my friend here in Egypt so i can stay with her
till I leave back to America. I called her. Then after he changed his mind and told me to
stay home till I leave. I told him Ill do whatever he wants. Anyways, after much planning
of me coming back to the US he changed his mind and started telling me how much he loves
me!!?? So I said ok. Then he wanted me to be back to normal like nothing happened. But I
couldnt, I was still in shock. So he told me I can stay the night with my friend..so thats
where I am now. And Im still very very nervous. His mood is gone alhamdulilah, but Im
still in shock and fear.
Please make dua for me.
Your sister in Islam,
|08/13/02 at 16:41:42|
Sister I don't even know what we should say to you. Who knew about all these problems Muslims were having :( Maybe we should make a new forum for marriage problems that couples have, it seems we've had so many threads lately.
Reading your post I think that either:
1. Your husband is seriously in need of some professional help. Perhaps the OCD medication is not working or at the right dosage, perhaps there is some other types of illness here as well, Bipolar? (just read Time today) Clinical depression? Paranoia?
2. Your husband is using a very exploitative form of emotional blackmail.
WAllahu alam, I think it's combination of both but I think it is better for you to take some time to think clearly not in his presence. May Allah help your situation. We are making dua for you..
|08/13/02 at 19:11:42|
So sorry not to be here when you wrote the IM. Immediately take your Hubby to the docs to have his medicine checked. Also ask the doc too test for bi-polar disorder.
Will be making dua....
|08/13/02 at 19:13:49|
|sis jannah, this is nothing to do with any kind of blackmail. yes, i believe several of us have suggesed a marriage forum - it might be a good time. this is not a marriage problem, per se, either.|
check your madina mail, i'm writing to you there, i will cive you my phone number.
|08/13/02 at 19:58:51|
|08/13/02 at 19:18:27|
Oh my gosh.
Dear sister, you are in my prayers. Insha Allah things will work out.
|08/13/02 at 22:57:18|
I hope things get better for you inshaAllah. You are in my duas sister. Take care of yourself.
|08/14/02 at 16:49:38|
his behaviour seems quite erratic which must make it extremely difficult for you. don't feel bad about not being able to cope with his behaviour because this is tricky situation.
He definitely needs to see a doctor. the medication for OCD may be responsible for the mood swings. I'd stay with your friend until you feel safe to return to him.
Inshallah, I hope things get better for you.
|08/15/02 at 00:20:57|
|Assalamu 'alaykum dear sister,|
May Allah help you get through this extremely difficult situation. I have to just say that it is time to get on the prayer rug and beg Allah ta'ala to guide you to what you need to do. Your husband also needs to do that. Allah is the only one who can help us.
|08/15/02 at 06:02:48|
I wrote in anon because I couldnt sign in to my username. Anyways, last night we went to the doctor, my husband doesnt just have OCD, he is also bi-polar, which we didnt know before. :'( :'( :'( This is sooooo hard on me. May Allah make it easy. He got into a mood last night again. But alhamdulilah, it went away. The doc kept him on his old medicine, and just added another one to it. InshaAllah we will start to go to his doc once a week. The doc said if he doesnt try to get better, he will put him in the hospital. Im still very nervous. I dont want to live up here on the 11th floor anymore. :'(
PLEASE, make dua for me. Thank you all for listening. :)
|08/15/02 at 08:36:58|
May Allah ease your burden sis. Keep focused and pray a lot! Also, it would be a good idea to get him into some kind of counselling sessions aside from the doctor visits. It will help too. Group sessions are also helpful sometimes if he is comfortable with that.
Take care and Inshaallah things will get better for you.
|08/15/02 at 10:32:17|
|Wa'alaikumussalam warahmatullah :)|
My dearest sister,
Keep being the strong and patient person that you are.... Our du'as are with you and your husband.
I hope you will follow through with the advises on the board, inshaAllah.
Meanwhile, please do stay with someone whom you will be safe with... perhaps, can someone accompany you at home?
Or maybe, both of you can bunk in with your in-laws for a while?
Take care :)
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