Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
|01/29/02 at 18:13:35|
|salaam alaikum... im violating the curtains by posting in the sisters side... but i am married... how do all of you feel about PDA (public display of affection) eg. holding hands, etc... what would u feel the limits to be (brothers can respond too :))|
|01/29/02 at 20:03:03|
|walikumas'salaam warahmatullah ;-D|
[quote]im violating the curtains by posting in the sisters side... but i am married... how do all of you feel about PDA (public display of affection) eg. holding hands, etc... what would u feel the limits to be (brothers can respond too :))[/quote]
hahaah..this is the cutest thread in a long time ;) and how the heck have YOU been man? :o it's been ages :) inshAllah all is well with u and the misses ;-D now..to the topic @ hand ;-D
i think affection is great ;-D totally healthy for a relationship ;-D i don't think there's nothing wrong with it..and u're not lackin ha'yaa if u're holding ur spouses hand ;) ;-D holding hands is totally a okay with me..;-D hugging, is aite too ;-D lekin, that's about it really :) everything else, should be behind closed doors ;) ;-D this is of course, my opinion, and yeah ;-D
|01/29/02 at 23:28:35|
i would love for me and my husband to hold hands but thats about it, im not to sure about hugging, unless he was going somewhere by plane and we were saying goodbye at the airport, maybe a tiny little *peck* but nothing to wild where it will attract attention...
|01/30/02 at 08:14:07|
My husband doesn't like holding hands in public (or walking hand in hand unless he's leading me thru a crowd) because he says it leads to shubuhaat in people's minds, or doubts, because a lot of *un*married couples walk hand in hand (yes, even certain types of "hijabis" ) so he doesn't like any type of pda for that reason, and also because it's something private between him and me. To tell you the truth at first I thought it wasn't nice that he didn't like to walk hand in hand, but now when he does take my hand once in a while (like in a crowd) I feel a little uncomfortable because I'm afraid people will think we're not married! wierd contradictions aren't they?!
|01/30/02 at 10:56:16|
[quote]wierd contradictions aren't they?! [/quote]
Somehow, I think that would only support further and condition society to think that only unmarried people show a public display of affection.
It's like smt haram is accepted and tolerated to be viewed publicly, whereas smt halal, has to be done secretly.
I understand about closing the doors of fitnah etc, but I'm just thinking out loud. Somehow, things have evolved to an opposite direction.
Anyways, we did discuss smt like this [url=http://www.jannah.org/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.pl/YaBB.pl?board=brothers&action=display&num=178]here[/url] and [url=http://www.jannah.org/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.pl/YaBB.pl?board=madrasa&action=display&num=3759]here[/url]
Take care :-)
|01/30/02 at 19:03:42|
[quote]but nothing to wild where it will attract attention... [/quote]
LOOOOOOOOOL!!! :) :) hahahaha
|01/30/02 at 19:19:47|
|As salamu alaykum,|
I would definitely draw the line at holding hands, although it would depend on where I live. I would never like others to feel uncomfortable because of my actions.
as salamu alaykum
|01/31/02 at 13:42:50|
This doesn't really answer your question, but one of my biggest things (now that I'm married) is that I don't want others to feel uncomfortable around us. We don't want to make them feel like the "third wheel" so to speak or "kabab mein hadi" as we say in urdu :) I have been in that situation and its never fun!
If someone sees my husband and I sitting in a room chillin/talking I would like it if they felt comfortable enough to come in and join us. Obviously if I saw a couple acting all gushy wushy in a public area I would NEVER approach them and infact I would always feel weird or "in the way" around them.
There's this couple I know really well--and its soo odd, whenever they're around family/adults/their parents/grandparents they're all huggy huggy, touchy touchy and we're all so weirded out by it!
You know..there are other affectionate things you can do if you feel uncomfy touching in public...
*wink at each other
*have secret little expressions/etc (like: scratching my nose= "i love you"--no, i don't do gay stuff like that, but its cute and covert and i wouldnt be entirely opposed to it :) )
theres probably others, but i'm new at this whole married thing, so thats all I can give right now :)
Oh by the way, I'm living in D.C now! Go wizards! Any of y'all ladies living in the D.C metro area...drop me a line..I'm in the Dulles area..
|01/31/02 at 17:29:37|
[quote]i don't do gay stuff like that, [/quote]
lol nice to hear some political incorrectness from time to time...
i had to forget that word cause I once said it in front of a gay nurse (hmph) lol.
On the PDA topic, I have been accused many times of this... but its not that we *do* things in front of people, some people are just taken aback by the way we connect sometimes in conversation or when we laugh together and stuff. Depending where I am, the PDA shifts from a small whisper in the ear to one of those pick-up-and-swing around hugs if I'm feeling cheeky enough. As long as people don't have to look away in shame, show bad example or it doesn't draw attention to her, whatever. lol asalam alaikum. abdullah,.
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