Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
|02/15/02 at 04:29:15|
|Asalaamu alaikum brothers and sisters,|
I don't know if you remember awhile ago when I made the post about my sister rushing into the marriage with the guy that our wali didn't approve of....but anyways. Since the wedding, she hasn't called me even once, except the time to ask me if her divorce papers from her last marriage had arrived in the mail yet (and once she found out, said bye). I have been calling her every few days, but she never calls me at all. And I have noticed also that she has completely cut off communications with all of her friends, and now the only people that she sees besides her husband are some wives of his friends, who don't speak very much English, and some old woman who hardly speaks any English either. And I also noticed that anytime she does say anything to me, its very judgemental (ie-she told me that I'd better change my major because a girl in business is haram, and also that I have to stay home until I am married since I don't have any mahram man to go out with). She is becoming very extreme in everything, as well as withdrawn from her old (pre-marriage with Mohammad) life. Should I be worried about her? And what can I do?
Also, it is now to the point that I don't even really want to talk to her at all. I don't want everyone in the masjid to judge me and think bad about me because I am not talking to my sister, and for that reason I always try to be friendly in the masjid, but I really don't want to talk to her at all. Is it haram for me to do that?
Thank you for your input.
|Re: My Sister|
|02/15/02 at 12:24:33|
I think you should stay in touch with her. But if her negative response is annoying you, then cut down on how much you talk to her a little, but still stay in touch.
I think with the nature of extremism, you start off full of it, but then either it starts to wear off, or you burn out. So, if either of the two do happen, you want to be there for her at the end to make that connection to her again, insha'allah.
I'm sure there must be some turmoil going through her mind right now too. I mean, you don't suddenly go from having a nice relationship to a bad one with your own siblings without first battling within yourself the natural feeling of love you have for them.
When this is all done and dusted and she calms down, its important that in her mind she remembers you to have been like an 'island of stability' throughout the whole thing.
May Allah ease the situation for the both of you.
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