A R C H I V E S
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
|12/15/03 at 17:25:09|
|Iím not sure where to even begin. My heart is very hard and black. I donít |
pray all my prayers, nor do I feel anything when I do pray. I cry sometimes during duas
because I [i]want[/i] to be affected. I do not understand Arabic, nor can I read it well.
My parents never encouraged/enforced me to learn, nor did I take the initiative.
I am 25 years old, and an only child. My mother has severe arthritis, so I have to stay
with her at all times. Due to this, I never furthered my studies after graduating high
school. Itís been eons since I felt any sort of stimulation of the mind.
I have no interests in anything, and hardly any friends. I've tried reading books, to
perhaps trigger something, I get nothing. There's nothing I can say I am gifted in even.
I feel like I have fallen behind in life. Everyone is ten steps ahead, and I am never
able to catch up. I donít feel motivated to do anything.
I am at a loss. I donít know what to do, or where to begin. I am afraid I will never
get out of this phase, and be doomed in the Hereafter.
|12/16/03 at 03:00:38|
Believe it or not what you are feeling is very normal AND is what alot of righteous people feel.
Sounds like you're in a rut, and it's hard to get out of. Believe me I know all about it.
The best thing to do is to slowly change your hobbies and interests. Push yourself to go to things you don't usually go to, to do things you don't usually do, meet people you don't usually talk to. All these things will introduce new ideas, people, friends and things to your life. And you can use this as a springboard to change.
It's never too late to learn Arabic or further your Islamic studies.. if books aren't working for you try some local classes, tape sets or different internet forums that help you learn and interact with other people.
Perhaps you can make some time to go out and do some things out of the house. Other people can be with your mother maybe to give you a break now and then.
Well try that out I hope it helps..
|12/16/03 at 11:18:10|
| [slm] Anon|
For every hardship there is relief. As long as we have faith in Allah's Mercy and Grace. I too have been stuck in a rut (still do sometimes) and at times it feels very very overwhelming. What helps me is reading up on the stories of the anbiyaa. Their fortitude in the face of hardships. Nabi Yusuf AS was betrayed by his brothers and later thrown in jail for a crime he did not commit. Nabi Nuh AS tormented by his family's own wantonness. I know you would most probably say "But they are Nabis !!". True but unlike Malaikahs, they have feelings. Just like us. Sure, they feel sadness but they did not give up.
Some tricks I learnt to do when I feel stuck :
1. Write a list of what you think is wrong with your life right now and what is right. This will help you focus on specific problems and not just a pervasive sense of hopelessness. Once you actually SEE your problems, you can start focusing on how to overcome them.
2. Make a list of small little things you can do that will make you feel good. Example, if there is an old lady or elderly couple living in the same apartment block as you, you can offer to get some stuff from the store for them when you do grocery shopping. Little things that make you feel good about yourself will boost your morale.
3. Go out with friends at least once a week. This will make you feel like your own person instead of just an addendum to your mother. Also it will help you exercise some kind of mental activity.
4. Write e-mails to people who would love to know you further (like me :) ) so that you realise there is always a channel whenever you feel all doors are closed.
5. Never stop making du'ahs, even if you feel you dont deserve anything. Allah is All Merciful All Forgiving. Inshaa Allah, where there is sincerity, your voice will be heard.
My du'ahs for you anon and may Allah Bless you with sakinah and rahmah, Amin.
|12/17/03 at 14:07:38|
|[slm]oo sista ! im really sorry about situation i happens 2 every1 at least once in a life time (in my case everyweek or month almost :'() sista umm wafi i really like ur advice and i advice u also sista 2 do wat umm wafi is saying its good|
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