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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
|02/25/04 at 23:00:27|
|Has anyone been in a situation where you have no desires or very little |
desires. I know islamically one might say that it's good not to have desires but what if you
don't even have to desire to be in Jannah. is it hardening of the heart? or something else?
|02/25/04 at 23:09:45|
Being desireless or not caring about anything is a sign of clinical depression.
I think not caring if you go to jannah or not is pretty serious. There's only two places people are going to go to after they die: jahannam or jannah. So if you're not going to jannah, it's the other place.. If you don't care then that's a big problem. There are a lot of books with descriptions about Hellfire check em out inshaAllah and maybe that will spark (no morbid pun intended) something.
|02/26/04 at 18:15:28|
Loss of desire? that is sad, but does happen.
indeed i have been in such a state, most of my life. Fortunately, I was able to push it in the back of my mind, when I had work to do, but it prevented me from going for my full potential.
it also made my life more miserable. That is stupid, isn't it. depression does make lives miserable, everyone knows that :)
and it is a state of depression, i agree with Jannah. Someone here gave a clinical definition of depression, about it lasting more than a certain number of days. But you should go to someone who knows.
this is impoprtant: why do you have this feeling? it should be identified and analyzed :)
in my case, the fear that i was going to lose my eyesight, and my other health conditions, plus the loss of my love - I wanted to do a doctorate in Chemistry with Pauling - were the basis for that.
then again, when I lost a job, it made me lose all desire again.
in my case, i have almost lived out my life, but i can see the scars left due to this state - in me and those around me
so don't just push it to the back of your mind. If you can, seek professional advice.
I know it could have enriched my life and of those around me.
or if that is expensive, then have some Islamic home-grown remedies:
have a drink of hot chocolate. It will cause obesity, so be careful.
and Islamically, remember Allah more.
[quote]I know islamically one might say that it's good not to have desires.[/quote] Who told you it is? On the contrary, It is good Islamically to have desires sanctioned by shari`ah, and to fulfil them by means given in the shari3a
If you like, you can describe your problems here. I am sure bro's and sis's will help.
also jannah, between Paradise and Hell is a3araaf. I wanted to be there, because I felt myself too hopeless for Jannah, and I had no desire for it, and I was afraid of Hell. In this case you can say I did have a desire not to be in Hell.
|02/26/04 at 19:06:12|
|02/26/04 at 18:43:03|
Islamicaly its recommnded to be desireful other wise it means to stop the life cycle at the the station you are at.we are supposed to have role and share
It saya LIVE AS YOU WILL NEVER DIE AND WORSHIP AS YOU WILL DIE THE DAY NEXT .this means dont leave the life pass through without caring for it .use as much as you can but at the same time dont let it take you away from your islamic obligations .AGAIN this islamic works u are supposed to do means a desire for the heaven .
so islamicaly it is needed to be ambitious .
When we ask for HEAVEN it is recommneded to ask for JANNAH AL FARDAWS.
This is another proof
Socially we do have to have desire other wise we dont know why we live for.
May be if that desire is taken as greediness , this is a kind of depression to convince yourself you are satisfied with what you have .Is that the feeling you have ?
But If there is chance to fulfil a desire why to stop the trial before it is began?
TRY TO DO WHAT YOU CAN AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE BUT DONT STOP
|02/26/04 at 18:50:07|
|But any way it is a matter of time and circumstance .It happens but will disappear soon ;-)|
|02/26/04 at 19:35:44|
There are a variety of forms of wants/desires. An interesting snippet from Imam al-Ghazali's Ihya is where he speaks on fasting - he likens it to our aspiration to emulate and have a reflection of the divine attribute of samadiyyat (freedom from want/totality of being) within ourselves. After all, all we do in life is strive to accord to the Shariah of Allah (swt) and regulate our internal state/nafs to it's higher state wherein there is a reflection of this. Our lives are built around choosing to control the lower state of the nafs and other parts which make us up so, insh'Allah, we will draw ever closer to our initial state of fitrah - we seek the ulya as opposed to the dunya.
The controlling of our base desires does not correspond to the simulatenous neglect of our higher desires - to draw ever nearer Allah (swt) - if one no longer wishes for Jannah, then one has lost the balance between the two. A lack of direction and a final destination for one's journey can be depressing indeed.
May me all walk down the straight and true path insh'Allah.
|02/26/04 at 20:31:27|
| [slm] this is the anonymous person...yes I decided to register.|
thank you very much for the responses dear brothers and sister.
I am sorry but most of brother Mossy and Salem's words flew over my head. But any ways may Allah swt give you all ajar for the kind words. I guess everyone agrees that having no desires is an outcome of having depression. Am I depressed? Yes I would say I am. What's causing the depression? Full time school, Full time work. It's driving me nuts. The reason I am taking full time school is to get done this semester. or I'll have to wait one more year to do these courses. What's causing me real pain is that I can't study..I open my books and my mind is wandering in the wah wah land. Work is ok, I am handling that properly. and I can't offord to not have a full time job. I guess I am craming too many things in so little time. But beleive you me I don't have a choice. Reasons that I might not be able to explain here. So InshAllah hopefully everythings gets over soon. I urge all you brothers and sisters to make dua for me.
May be the brothers and sisters can suggest ways that will improve my study skills. YES, I DONT LIKE WHAT I'M STUDYING. I realized that once I was in my final year. So it's too late for me to let it go. I guess.
My other problem is that I feel unwanted at times and I think of ways of making people like me. I would love to get rid of this feeling..Any suggestions?
and all the time I get this feeling that I don't know any thing... That if I was in a room full of educated individuals, I would not be able to speak that I would not be able to carry a conversation with them. it is frustrating. and then I start to think of ways to learn just to be able to carry a conversation. Am I crazy?
When I am talking to ppl. I am not listening, I am more worried of what I am gonna say next.
I guess that's the gist of it. I say I guess because even now I am not sure if there r other things wrong with me. I'll post them later if I remember...
JazakAllah khairan for listening to me...I appreciate it and thanks again for the kind words.
|02/26/04 at 22:20:31|
|I am not a muslim, so you can take this advice witha grain of salt, but the 1st thing you can do is change your name to happy.|
|02/26/04 at 22:24:38|
|good point mike ;)|
'aaraf is a temporary place not permanent. and really that's not a place we should hope to be.. hope for something good inshallah!
i'm really sad to hear of all these people having no desire for Jannah. may Allah help you.. because without any desire there is no intention and there are no deeds and deeds will be the only thing of value on the day when nothing else will be of value. it's true then what the prophet [saw] said.. no one will entire heaven (Jannah) except those who refuse. the companions were suprised and exclaimed 'but who would refuse?!' and he said 'the one's who follow me will enter Jannah and the one's who do not have refused.' as simple as that..
as for bro depressed... i don't know if ur actually clinically depressed (which needs someone qualified to determine) cause ur still continuing with ur normal life .. but it does sound like ur really stressed out...and there are alot of things you can do to de-stress... take time to eat well, sleep well, exercise.. do some things that you find interest and pleasure in.. get a hobby, read a book, go out with some friends, go to the mosque, hangout etc... you NEED to have these things in your life otherwise you'll go crazy.. take it from one who knows ;)
btw mossy interesting points on ghazali.. a lot of islamic literature talks about breaking desires and in taming the nafs and encouraging the divine ruh. but i never thought of it as suppressing all wants and desire of dunya, but maybe that's a goal for some. though it sounds a lot like other traditions suppressing all want and desire, leaving the dunya completely to obtain higher enlightenment..
|02/26/04 at 22:45:25|
|02/26/04 at 23:27:23|
As far as school and work full time..been there. It takes a lot of work and energy and again it all depends on what your studying. Turn to prayer no matter how hard keep it going. Yeah and i did find that time spent away from books and anything really stressful was well spent. Sometimes you do need to go for a walk, visit some friends/relatives..play some ball, go shopping or whatever interests you. We all need time to clear our heads and then go back to the serious stuff.
Try studying somewhere different..maybe the environment your in is not conducive to that. Try a cafe or something.
Ok so youre studying somethjing you dont like. Again, i studied something I wasnt sure i liked but thats life:) you win some you lose some. You just pick up and make the most of it and if your circumstances allow try to change them. You can always go back to school once you find something more appealing. School is never fun anyhow even if its something you love ;-)
Lastly, try not to think about what people think..Dude i been through that too (little weird we got the same issues:)). You cant make people like you. Just try to be yourself...and dont underestimate those that are your friends..I find that many of us try to hard to make new connections..instead we should just fortify our current ones.
ok this is the last thing:) You are not crazy. WE all have those unsure thoughts about dealing with professional situations, conversations etc. Its truly normal:) Dont be so hard on yourself.
forgive me if i didnt help at all..but really it comes down to just getting comfortable with who you are. You actually have a start by listing what you think are your issues...now its just a matter of dealing with them one at a time. FIrst things first keep your prayers..ask Allah swt for the patience to keep going...
May we all have be blessed with an ever increasing iman.
|02/26/04 at 23:39:01|
:) first to Jannah, now I hope to reach Jannatul Firdaws, insha`Allah
and I was wrong in stating that I had no desire for Jannah. I just did not feel I could exert myself enough to get there
and now bro "depressed"
yes, the first thought that came to me was also that you should change your name to something else, preferably "happy" as mike suggetsed
now that you have talked a bit, I don't think you are depressed, you are just "tired". This is also a condition I have noticed in myself and others around me at times, and it creates the syptoms you have described.
why have you had to overload yourself? getting done one year ahead should not be a target. In setting higher immediate targets, they should be just enough above your norm to be feasible. Can you reduce the load now?
and what is the subject that you study?
why do you dislike it?
what could be in it that you might like?
let us get answers to that before we continue
|02/26/04 at 23:59:29|
Okay can I give you some really good advice, inshaAllah? This is going to sound a little out of place, but I promise you, it'll work.
Go skiing. lol..when you're facing this crazy looking hill, and you're going down at 200 km/h (okay exaggerration), the first thing that comes out of your mouth is the Shahadah...it restores all desires of heading to jannah :) (Oh and what's the worse that could happen? ;) )
As for school...don't worry...undergrad is just a platform...hardly anyone does what their degree taught them.
InshaAllah...hope you fare better....and depression is a myth!!!!
|02/27/04 at 00:19:19|
[quote author=JustOne link=board=madrasa;num=1077768027;start=10#11 date=02/26/04 at 23:59:29] Okay can I give you some really good advice, inshaAllah? This is going to sound a little out of place, but I promise you, it'll work.
Go skiing. [/quote]
*cough* what about skydiving? ???
Brother depressed I think we've all been there. I think I'm there right now myself. I'm so stressed and tired myself. Life is all about balance. We can't go to one extreme or the other. Yeah I know school and work is important, but its not the most important thing in the world. You got to step back and reflect, take a break and realise what is really important in life. Some guys took me out for sushi today, so that was a nice break and very thoughtful of them, not to mention sushi is really good. :)
`Amr ibn Abdullah said: "The life of this world and the Hereafter, in the heart of a person, are like the two scales of a balance, when the ona becomes heavier the other becomes lighter."
|02/27/04 at 01:05:55|
|I agree with the responses about loss of desires AKA loss in interests can be a sign of clinical depression so please see someone if it persists.|
Feelings of hopelessness, lack of interest of desires in things you use to enjoy
also feeling numb happen when we are sad and or stressed and will pass when circumstances pass or if continued beyond 2 weeks seeing a doctor/counselor is recommended.
I pray all works out for you. I too have experienced an feeling of, oh well if I do not go to heaven I am stuck to go to hell and there is nothing I can do about it. This is an awful feeling, like being in a pit. I pray you climb out of this pit fast.
Be it a passing thing or a problem neither is fun to deal with.
Pray, make sure you're eatting right and never stop praying and get lots of fresh air.
|02/27/04 at 10:56:40|
|alsalamu alaykum wa rhmat Ullahi wa barakatuh :-)|
Subhan Allah, as others have said, its important that you see a doctor, it may be something as simple as being deficient in a certain vitamin. It may be something that can be easily fixed insha'Allah! :)
Bbut on another note, desires have a deep root in the heart. May Allah ta'ala grant you peace in your heart and desires to only live in a state of 'ibadah, working to only please Allah ta'ala, even in your everyday actions.
Please listen to the following lecture, its brief but has a heavy and lucid message about our hearts and what will bring us happiness.
go to http://www.myo.ca/Multimedia.html and click on the lecture dated October 24th, 2003 called "Every Minute Counts"
alsalamu alaykum wa rhmat Ullahi wa barakatuh
|02/27/04 at 16:49:31|
JazakAllah khairan again for the advice brothers and sisters.
First off to answer Br. Timbuktu's questions. Let's just say, I've taken enough breaks :) I am studying Computer Sciences. Last semester InshAllah. I've been studying it for the past 4 years and I feel like I have learned nothing. I try my best to take interest in it but man as soon as I go in the class I feel like running back out. If I make my self stay in the class, I can't pay attention. I guess this is partly because of my lack of interest in the subjects, partly the inability of most of the teachers to teach and partly because I have a very low attention span. I can't keep myself focussed for very long. I had thought of leaving my studies and doing something else but 3 years of a 4 year program done, I thought it would be a waste, with one more year of "pain", atleast i'll be able to get what I had joined the school for, i-e get the degree.
For those who are suggesting to c a doctor. What am I gonna tell the doctor? "I have no desires any more". He's gonna laugh in my face.
I do my prayers, even at work, I take time out to do my prayers but again, I've been missing my fajar alot but I do the rest on time. My mind is not there though when I pray, I used to have khushoo and khuzoo in my prayers, dont have that anymore. And like I said I've been missing fajar. Before when I would miss one prayer it used to be a big deal for me as it should be but it's not anymore, I keep missing fajar and there is no real regret.
|02/27/04 at 21:59:33|
do not worry :) The semester system makes students despair, but it will end. My son studied Computer Science for his bachelors, and he was a mess throughout, although he didn't have to do a thing except drive to uni and study. I couln't bear to look at him during those days, he was so stressed out.
in life one goes through many ups and downs and many times of stress (and distress), all this is test. Just keep on trying to say your prayers regularly. Your condition is indeed a combination of high work-load and studying something you have lost interest in.
do go for a walk in the park, or some such place where you find nature.
also give yourself a treat, if only a chocolate bar :) or a time out with friends
do you have friends?
Now we have to find the reason for your disinterest. Where are you studying? What is the grading of your college among others? Could it be that the waning CS market has caused this loss of interest?
I studied in the British system, and was never stressed out, although others were. But I did lose interest at times.
do work for your grades, without getting worried.
I will think some more and when I come up with something, I will write about it. and pray for you.
|02/28/04 at 15:12:09|
|It seems to me the problem you have is an extra desire and not desirless due to the plenty of things you are wishing to have at a time .You dont want to lose any of what you wish and or doing that reflects back to yourself that you are such a weak or lesser than. and thus losing hope to make and more steps for further improvement . This is how I interprated things . and if this is true ? what I think you need is to use the little thing you have where it has a value to give you the confidence and expose for you WHERE and WHEN to use WHAT , so that it can look pretty and valuable . therefore to get rid of the feeling you have you have to put yourself where you feel you are the better but not as an escape from a fact you believe it is self cheating .All you need is a little courage from people you love since you are enterprating even some part of humbleness in yourslef a weak factor.|
I have the feeling that you are extra sensitive and not depressed . It is easy to get rid of these because it just a feeling and not charactor This is the good thing ALHMADULILAH .and
INSHALLAH things will be fine soon . ;-)
|02/28/04 at 15:13:57|
|02/29/04 at 19:08:09|
|[quote author=Anonymous link=board=madrasa;num=1077768027;start=0#0 date=02/25/04 at 23:00:27]Has anyone been in a situation where you have no desires or very little |
desires. I know islamically one might say that it's good not to have desires but what if you
don't even have to desire to be in Jannah. is it hardening of the heart? or something else?
Salam Alaikum. I dont have desiree to go Jannah, that means not I dont care what Allah swt forbid or advice (command) us as muslim. Alahmdulillah I think i do my best to obey Allah swt. So I dont obey HIM for enter jannah, I obey Allah swt because HE is my creator and my Lord . Allah swt can decide, about me. Wassalam
|02/29/04 at 19:09:20|
|02/29/04 at 22:50:31|
|[quote]Where are you studying? What is the grading of your college among others? Could it be that the waning CS market has caused this loss of interest[/quote]|
it's a decent school. and for computer science I'd say it's ranked somewhere in the middle. not too good but not bad either. and no I dont think the CS market has anything to do with my loss of interest in the subject. I guess I didn't think well enough before going into the program.
[quote]do you have friends? [/quote]
If I say yes, I'd be off target and If I say no, I'll be lying. I have friends but there is none that Im very close with.
[quote]I have the feeling that you are extra sensitive and not depressed . It is easy to get rid of these because it just a feeling and not charactor This is the good thing ALHMADULILAH [/quote]
you are right about me being extra sensitive. I feel very minor things. how would I change that?
|03/01/04 at 00:06:20|
OK, so CS is just a discipline that has failed to arouse your interest. I asked about location, because it would be important which country you are studying in. Anyway, it is a first degree, and should be important in seeking a btterment in life, so look beyond the year, and armed with a degree your opportunities will be expanded. That should arouse interest.
happy-ness wroteQuote:[quote]you are right about me being extra sensitive. I feel very minor things. how would I change that?[/quote]
what are you sensitive to? do the teachers or your friends at school say hurtful things? i was very sensitive and i taught myself out of it :)
i taught myself that what really matters in Allah's pleasure. He has created us, and is testing us through different circumstances, attitudes, personalities and perceptions. He is the Creator, and the Provider. We are to struggle and yes even enjoy in this world according to halal means. and in the end everything will turn out all right, but our task is to do the best we can. When someone said hurtful things to me, I did not reply back in anger, I did not sulk, I did not start having a low opinioin of myself. Instead I tried to think of reasons for that hurtful thing. Maybe the guy had problems he could not cope with. I would smile, and sometimes even agree with people, and they would then feel they had done wrong, and would apologize.
and you have yourself admitted that you feel even minor things. Minor things are those you should not have time for now. They count when you are married and your wife expects you to appreciate the minor changes. and the minor things you should try to feel are those that strenghten bonds between people.
about your loss of interest:
is your food intake balanced. are you getting vitamins?
are you getting enough fresh air, enough exercise?
when i asked "what are you studying?" I meant what are the subjects taught in the final year. I already know that the degree will be in CS.
about the three years you have alraedy spent. Your interest was not aroused, but how well did you do in the papers, and how well have you understood the subjects you ahve already cleared. I understand there will be a Final project in which you will have to use all your knowledge. Will that be combine project, or individual?
Abdussammed wrote. Quote:[quote]dont have desiree to go Jannah, that means not I dont care what Allah SubHana Wa Ta`ala forbid or advice (command) us as muslim. Alahmdulillah I think i do my best to obey Allah SubHana Wa Ta`ala. So I dont obey HIM for enter jannah, I obey Allah SubHana Wa Ta`ala because HE is my creator and my Lord . Allah SubHana Wa Ta`ala can decide, about me[/quote]
:) don't mind my smile, brother, but seriously, why do you think Allah has described Jannah in His book. Is it not to arouse desire in us to get there. and did not the prophet [saw] say that we should ask Allah (swt) for Jannatul Firdaws.
|03/01/04 at 00:32:01|
|03/01/04 at 12:13:03|
|as salaamu alaykum,|
[quote]For those who are suggesting to c a doctor. What am I gonna tell the doctor? "I have no desires any more". He's gonna laugh in my face. [/quote]
bro this is actually symptomatic of depression/dysthymia.. it's called anhedonia, when you find no pleasure in anything and you have critically negative and cynical views about the future.
I'm not diagnosing, but am just saying.. I don't think a doctor will laugh at you..
a psych major :)
|03/01/04 at 14:45:53|
I'm not trying to play doctor, but It sounds like there is some anxiety here too, thus the hyper sensitivity. I'v had the same feelings, and not being helped my "modern" science I've just had to square my shoulders and cope.
I managed to postpone my graduation anxiety by getting into an MA program. And then I have been praying that it will gradually ease off by the time I finish this degree, and slowly things have been getting better. Sometimes, weather i am really going to or not, I tell myself I am going to quit studying something that is giving me fits after I finish this last class in it. That gives me a way to stop thinking about it. Like right now I beleive that I will not take nother Arabic class until I am teaching in an arabic speaking country which will be in three years at the soonest, and in the mean time I can take what I have learned and study further at my leisure. I dont know if you can do something like that with computer science, but one thing, Timbuktu is right that one degree does make life easier, and even if you arent sure about the future your worst case scenario with a degree is normally far less bad than the worse case scenario without one.
Sometimes adjusting diet, execise and caffene intake, or the times when you allow yourself caffene can make a world of difference concerning anxiety, because with a better ability to concentrate things dont get so creeped out so fast, and the longer you can go without getting a little tense the less tense you will get the next time you feel that way, but this has just been my own experience.
|03/03/04 at 19:35:59|
|[quote author=timbuktu link=board=madrasa;num=1077768027;start=20#20 date=03/01/04 at 00:06:20][slm]|
:) don't mind my smile, brother, but seriously, why do you think Allah has described Jannah in His book. Is it not to arouse desire in us to get there. and did not the prophet [saw] say that we should ask Allah (swt) for Jannatul Firdaws.[/quote]
[wlm] Ya Ackhee. You are right. I do ask to Allah for Jannah in my prayers. I mean somethink else with my words. But i cant explain you enought and maybe I should not explain it. JazzakallahuKhayr. My Allah swt reward you and all muslims with Jannatul Ferdaws and me too insha-allah. [wlm] ;-)
PS:Sis Jannah, This brother smiles doesnt have beard? But I have beard...
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