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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
|its sort of wonderful|
|04/03/04 at 11:21:07|
I've been wearing niqab for just over a week now, and I wanted to say something about what it had been like.
One thing that surprised me the most about it was that it did not change my professors feelings about me, I sould have known that it wouldnt. and I am certain that I will be able to get a job teaching english right here when I graduate next year.
the first day I only wore it outside of class, but it was a friday and by my next class on tuesday I couldnt bear to take it off for class so I just pulled part of my hijab over my face and pinned it figuring I would take it off when I actually got to class, but one of my male class mates began to talk to me when I was thinking of taking it off so it stayed on, and it stayed on the whole day.
I've been a lot more outgoing, professionally speaking, and less forthcoming personally speaking this past week. My complexion has cleared up,and i have begun to look younger again, until recently I have never looked my age, but the stress of the past few years was starting to show, but inthe last week I seem to have lost more than ten years off my face.
You cant imagine the stress I dont have. I'm not saying I dont have stress at all, but I just dont wory about people seing my facial expressin any more, and when I get home I look softer in the face than I have looked since I was a little girl.
When people try to give me trouble they cannot see by my face that they are getting to me,and I recover much faster from insults and the day to day face biting that I have to endure.
My neghbors are all in a snit though. They have been proclaiming their alegance to isreal every chance they can get since I started wearing it. One of them wanted to tell me that I look like a blob and i dont seem like a person, but I doubt I ever seemed like a person to her to begin with so that really didnt change.
One thing I have noticed is that it seems like people think I cant see their faces. The people who never liked me are more open about it now and this is a releaf because I dont have to pretend like their dislike isnt obvious anymore.
The first day I tried to ride the bus in niqab, someon called in a bomb threat and the buses shut down for an hour, but I just stood there and wauted until they realized the hoax.
Over all though those people who were suportive before are actually even more supprtive.
The MSU here however is not suportive of me just like in the past. They just wait for me to throw clothing away so they can act like I never gave them anything.
we had islam awarenss week this past week and they told everyone who asked about me that I am not a real muslim. >:( It must be my modest clothing that gave me away, because *everybody* knows a real muslima wears tight sweaters and flirts with strangers ;)
I know what I am though, and I know allah isnt fooled by their farce or any farce in general.
Coincidental to my becoming a niqabi the Near Eastern Languages and Culture department diecided to intensify their campaign against me since I dont tow their line. It was predictable of them since the end of semester crunch time is upon us.
but from the behavior of the quest speakers i have found out that I was never "lost" that muslims have always been all around me, and that people have always been aware of the problems here in this little town.
Truely allah guides and he leaves people to stray, and the past week has only reassured me that I am one he has chosen to guide, despite all the ups and downs of this existance.
|04/03/04 at 19:04:12|
|Re: its sort of wonderful|
|04/03/04 at 19:03:35|
I just wanted to add. This is a mixed thing for me, wearing niqab. i think it is wonderful that allah made niqab part or the religion he perfected for women who have a need to wear it. But I do fully consider the need that made in neccessary for me, and wish that it was not a necesity for me, but it wont be necessary when we all get to Jannah, and who knows, maybe before then too.
It is a protection for me, for my face. Interacting with others changes my face away from what is honestly me. There are some people who if they want to can change my face just by talking to me on the phone, but still, that effect isnt as lasting when they cant get people who can see me to reinforce those changes.
I think a lot about the lives of the first muslim women before there was islam for them. My life has at times seemed similar, and to be able to have a suport that Allah made for me is a great blessing, and makes me feel more secure that I am doing my best in a world that is far from the best.
Sometimes the weight of my troubles is very great. But I am always shown ways Allah has sent to help me and others in other situations. This week would have probably been disasterous for me if others could have seen the look on my face, as i have been tormented nightly since last wednesday and havent gotten more than three solid hours of sleep at any time since then.
It is certainly a protection from harrassment, not that it stops harassment, but it lessens the damages possible.
Allah is wise there can be no doubt about that.
|04/03/04 at 19:06:15|
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