A R C H I V E S
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
|04/07/04 at 05:19:52|
| [slm] All,|
Today, my elder son turn 17. He is in the 11th grade and will start doing his FINAL exams on May 10th 2004 till the end of the month. The exam is the London GSCSE 'O' Level from where he proceeds to the 'A' Levels which are grades 12 and 13 if he passes.
It has been a struggle because for a while there, he underwent what FoRs (Mohammed) described in his introduction. Lack of interest in his studies, paying a deaf ear to me, etc. Then when it came to making a choise for his subjects in the 'O' Level exams, he recorded the worst marks of his schooling history on the exams leading to them.
Mahad was brought down to earth faster than anything else. He had a choice of re-assessing his subject choices or facing the humiliation of repeating while his peers moved on. He promised me, the Headmistress and his teachers that he will really work hard and turn around his grades. He asked me to help him. This from a son who did want to hear what was good for him.
He worked hard with extra tuition and his grades improved drastically. At the same time, he has had a change of attitude and a sense of purpose. Now, I have hope for my son. He subjects he chose are: Maths, Chemistry, Biology, Economics, History, English, Literature and French.
With our hope and prayers in Allah to continue to guide him, we hope for the best results in his FINAL exams, INSHA-ALLAH.
|04/07/04 at 05:40:13|
:) give Mahad my best wishes
This is better than my son's story. My son didn't realise it until he was ready for University, when he came to me saying "Papa, what will I do now". Even then two semesters were wasted as my son and his Uni tried to come to terms with each other. He decided he had to change the University. Eventually, once again he found the new uni not good enough, and I had to bring him down to earth by telling him I cannot afford the money to let him have a taste of all universities, and that he cannot afford the time.
Well, he learnt pretty well, I think. Now doing his MBA.
|04/08/04 at 04:04:12|
|04/08/04 at 03:40:58|
| [slm] Sister H and Brother T and Alhumdulillah your respective sons are doing so well.|
Insha Allah, may Allah swt's Rahmat always be with you and your respective families.
My eldest is 9 going onto 50 and it unnerves me to think of the trials and tribulations ahead.
*sigh* Any tips on successful parenting at this stage will be welcomed Insha Allah.
|04/08/04 at 04:11:58|
I read a beautiful small book, called "Tarbiat-e-aulaad" which was a translation of an old work in Arabic, and on reading it I wondered why we learn these things from Dr Spock et al. Unfortunately, like my other books, it is in cold storage.
Help your son understand and develop priorities, time and resource management, appreciation of the lighter side of life under the most trying circumstances, and above all, seeking guidance and help from Allah s.w.t. , and trusting Him.
and make dua for your son. I have seen children being so blessed, and the reason I found out was their parent's duas.
|04/08/04 at 04:12:39|
|04/08/04 at 07:34:19|
|[quote]*sigh* Any tips on successful parenting at this stage will be welcomed Insha Allah.[/quote]|
Sis bismillah, it is not that cut and dried. In fact, at age nine, yours is still an angel and can be guided. The problem I had was with Mahad with he hit 14! All of a sudden he knew it all till the last few months.
But guidance from an early age helps (I did but teenage and adolescence is another different matter altogether). Madarasa is another institution that really helped me. Friends, Teachers both male and female helped too. Giving examples of how boys his age who are not in school, the reason why and where they will envetually end in life was another way.
I must say that as a single parent, Allah blessed me a great deal in that my children have been respectful and obedient in many ways. But we all can not help changes and influences around us and them. The key is to be patient, guiding and sometimes giving them a little home truths.
May Allah make yours good kids and people in the later years in Deen and Dunia, INSHA-ALLAH. And May Allah make it easy on all PARENTS.
Bro. timbuktu, shukran for sharing your trials. I am glad that your son has finally found his way and corrected himself however painful and difficult it was for both of you. It is heartening when another parent honestly shares with you. And it helps so much.
|04/10/04 at 07:56:47|
| Assalamu aliakum |
You know children and specialy boys before 15 they're good and manageable, but when they hit 15 it's when they feel they're men and think they can decide what ever they want to do.I really remember when i was 14+(early 1991) i was in Djibouti and staying with my aunt so, my family back home want me to come back,there was two way for backing home i.e by sea or by land.ofcourse land was easy one , but i choose to travel by sea and i didnt tell my aunt about it.any way i spent 3 days and 3 night in the sea because of bad weather (normaly it takes less than 12 hours to reach the destination.)
When comes to education my generation was the worst generation of our soceity, 1988 i was 6 grade when the civil war begun in my country and become refugee,from that year my mom and my sister( i lost my father during the war) never asked me about my education. because they were thing about surviving,form that young age i got good friends who really compete in educational field so, i graduate my high school in 1996 after i changed the medium of instruction of my schooling years 3 times from somali to arabic then to english.
When comes to choose your future careers it really very difficult task and every person need someone to consult it. i wish to do BBA instead of Bsc computer science. Even though i got the dillema again when i was about to start my Master so, initially was planning to do MBA , but after sometime i changed to MS BANKING.
Halima you've a good son if he listen what you say now, and make sure that he have a good friends . friends can influence their futures...without my friends i never ever continue my education.
|04/10/04 at 11:09:15|
|[slm] we all worry about our children, in fact about the furture.|
We should try to think, plan and do the best, and make dua, and leave the rest to Allah (swt).
When one looks at wht can go wrong in an individual's life, it is a wonder so many live out their lives rasonably.
and I have found that what we think is bad for us, turns out to be good.
so trust in Allah.
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