A R C H I V E S
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
|What are the best books on marriage?|
|08/31/04 at 02:15:34|
| [slm] Looking for your suggestions please..... |
Are there any good books for Newly Weds or for the couples that are intending to be married? The ones i have seen are very biased in favour of the Husband. Surely there is literature on a much more balanced view on marriage.
Also, i haven't found a PRACTCAL book in terms of finances etc. for married couples.
|09/07/04 at 03:05:25|
|09/02/04 at 16:22:36|
|I know 2 I recommend but they are not Islamic books.|
However they are
1) Men are from Mars/women are from Venus
But my absolute favorite (It is however a Christian book, but wonderful)
Is..............The Five Love languages.
Is speaks about how love and feeling loved and needed is like a gasoline tank and how it can become full, half full or empty. How all of us feel loved and wanted by one of five things
1)Quality time spent
3)Acts (having things done for them)
4)Words of affirmation
And although many may have more than one, most have one that makes them feel loved, wanted and needed when the spouse is providing this need.
It is a wonderful book I read years ago and it has always stuck with me.
It also has a section for children, so parents can learn their childs love language.
What makes a child feel loved.
|09/03/04 at 13:58:44|
|as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah,|
I think I must have read every book on marriage out there :P it's like when you are travelling to a foreign place, you want to read every guidebook you can get your hands on :) I also found that many books reduced marriage to obeying your husband and providing for your wife, leaving a lot to be desired.
here's my take on a few of them:
-- Imam Ghazali's Adab an Nikah tr. Muhtar Holland
I'm going to refrain from saying anything in detail about this work really, just out of deference for the author/s. This text is very hard on women and I found it of little benefit to me personally.
-- The Muslim Marriage Guide by Ruqayya Waris Maqsood
it's very common sense, it's okay :P
-- The Muslim Family 4-Volume Set by Sh. al-Jibaaly
very straightforward, the volume that deals with fiqh issues is the most useful, I think. you may not think it but there are a lot of fiqh issues that are important to know and understand for marriage, especially dealing with intimacy, ghusl, etc.
-- Blissful Marriage: A Practical Islamic Guide by Dr. Ekram and M. Rida Beshir
this book is written by a Muslim couple that are both psychologists.. what I found very beneficial in this book was it's description of marital problems and the breakdown of arguments, with hypothetical scenarios and exercises (ex. what could the husband do in this situation to help remedy the argument? in this scenario, how did the wife show insensitivity to her husband? etc)
-- Tranquil Hearts published by the Muslim Converts Assoc. of Singapore
this is an *excellent* book that was sent to me by Sr. Barr. I wish they distributed this in the United States. I found it soo useful and beneficial, and well written, walhamdulillah.
-- Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray
useful.. there are a lot of differences in the way men and women communicate, their expectations, they way they interpret behavior and comments, etc and this just really helped me understand some of these general differences. they are *generalities*, not necessarily true for every man or every woman, but I found it to be very beneficial.
example of generalities: a man needs and likes appreciation, and to feel like he is capable and strong; women need a lot of reassurance that they are loved and appreciated.
these things seem kind of obvious, but sometimes they're not, especially when you are going into the relationship with little experience with interaction with the opposite gender.
-- You just don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation by Deborah Tannen
this book goes into more detail about the different communication styles of men and women.. I found it pretty interesting just from a literary perspective also.. *geek*
hope this is helpful :) if I think of more I'll post insha'Allah..
wasalaamu alaykum :)
|09/03/04 at 14:08:52|
|09/03/04 at 23:38:50|
Islamic Marriage- Hedaya Hartford 2nd Edition
Qoute From: Marriage and the New Muslim Sister By Saraji Umm Zaid (ModernMuslima.com)
[quote]I highly recommend the book by Ustadha Hedaya Hartford, "Your Islamic Marriage." (Dar al Fikr Books). Ustadha Hedaya gives you advice on how to conduct yourself in easy and difficult situations according to the teachings of Islam, and cuts through a lot of the nonsense that many Islamic marriage books contain (about ideal situations where husbands and wives are never cranky and never fight).
Ustada Hedaya Hartford is known in the USA, Egypt, Syria and Jordan, for her Sharia expertise on women's issues regarding the Fiqh of Menstruation, Nifaas (Post Natal Bleeding), Marriage, Divorce, and social issues.
She lived in Egypt from 1983-1997, where she studied at al-Azhar University and privately with the Shuyukh of aqida and fiqh. Since 1997, she has been studying Hanafi fiqh, usul, hadith, and rules of jurisprudence in Damascus. She has notably earned her way into the Mufti's chambers for fatwas for women in the West.
This second addition has revised chapters, new additions and corrections to her first edition, Islamic Marriage Starting off on the Right Foot
|09/03/04 at 23:41:37|
|09/04/04 at 18:42:53|
[quote] Tranquil Hearts published by the Muslim Converts Assoc. of Singapore
this is an *excellent* book that was sent to me by Sr. Barr.[/quote]
How can I purchase this?
|09/07/04 at 03:09:22|
wow cool i never knew all that stuff about sr hedaya... i met her before and took a class from her in syria too.
i do have her book.. i thought it was good, very general but a good overview...
Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board