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Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
|10/14/04 at 11:52:50|
Does anyone know if a man can divorce a woman by saying "at-talla'a" three times?
Can the woman do the same? or not?
If so, would you supply me with support from the Qur'an or Sunnah.
Jazaka Allahu khairan
|10/14/04 at 12:30:02|
|[quote]Does anyone know if a man can divorce a woman by saying "at-talla'a" three times?[/quote]|
I assume that this refers to saying talaq three times in one go. In that case no, not according to Quran or Hadith, but those who follow the Hanafi fiqh accept this type of talaq as valid. Could also be true for the other fiqhs, too.
[quote]Can the woman do the same? or not?[/quote]
No, a woman cannot do it. If she wants, she can seek "khula", generally by giving up her "Mehr" and (perhaps) what has been given to her by her husband. The "khula" is however to be granted by the court (judge=qadi).
|10/14/04 at 13:19:20|
So why can a man divorce a woman in such a fashion but a woman cannot in return do the same?
|10/14/04 at 14:18:31|
| [slm] I am not one of those who accept that saying talaq three times in one go makes the divorce valid.|
But your question has a bigger dimension which has to do with the differences between the genders. For answering that wider question, perhaps there would be threads on this board, or answers on other sites. You probably have to consider that in the first place, in Islam it is the husband who pays his wife the Mehr, not the other way round. In Islam, it is the husband who has to provide for the wife and the children, and even parents and unmarried sisters. The woman does not have to provide for these. You may also consider that in her special days, the woman is excused Salaah altogether, and has to delay her fasts, and abandon her pilgrimage. If one thinks of this as injustice, then the fact a woman has to undergo pregnancies, and the labor of childbirth, would be considered the greatest injustice of all. Yet, most women consider motherhood as something they are incomplete without. You might want to read the excellent pieces written by some sisters here on this.
Men and women have different functions and duties. It does not make one superior to the other in God's eyes, but the rules for them are different, too.
I know that in the US men have claimed and obained paternity leave, but that is ridiculous. Parenthood leave should be restricted to Maternity leave.
|10/15/04 at 21:38:52|
|10/16/04 at 04:41:09|
|[quote author=timbuktu link=board=lighthouse;num=1097765570;start=0#3 date=10/14/04 at 14:18:31] [slm]|
I know that in the US men have claimed and obained paternity leave, but that is ridiculous. Parenthood leave should be restricted to Maternity leave.[/quote]
When I gave birth to my son I had a c-section and no family around. I was mighty greatful that my hubby took time off to help me. I have had a couple of major surgeries in my life, it was the c-section recovery that was the hardest.
|10/16/04 at 07:26:46|
[quote]I was mighty grateful that my hubby took time off to help me. [/quote]
While I was writing about paternity leave, it did occur to me that the mother needs help at least for some time after the child is born, so a helping husband would be welcomed by her.
So, if the paternity leave isn't being misused, it is a good addition to worker rights. :)
|10/18/04 at 11:13:10|
|10/18/04 at 09:40:33|
I am not saying that the woman being unable to the same as aman in the case of divorce is an injustice. I just don't understand the reasoning behind this ruling to allow a man to give the woman her marching orders so easily, just because he has provided for her during the marriage.
|10/18/04 at 10:18:56|
divorce, although permitted, is disliked by Allah (swt).
Men are told to put up with their wives in an ahsan manner, even if they find something distasteful in them, for there may be other things in their wives they like.
Women are known to be somewhat unstable, paricularly at certain times, and they could easily divorce their husbands over small issues, then regret it.
The actual divorce according to the Quran and Sunnah isn't that quick, and there is a considerable waiting period.
Marriage is a contract. The woman can have it stipulated in the contract that divorce if considered will be last resort, and there would be a considerable period between the three divorces, to give reconciliation a chance.
I married a girl from the Hanafi Fiqh, and her father was so worried, he had the civil ceremony performed and the marriage registered in Britain. :)
Not that there was any need. We follow the fiqh of ahl-e-Hadith, and I do not know of any divorces in my family.
|10/19/04 at 11:11:52|
:) got you
|10/21/04 at 13:42:31|
|as salaamu alaykum,|
something interesting I read/heard somewhere recently is that if a person conducts a divorce in a truly Islamic manner they would never be unhappy with it.
why?? because there are so many steps a person must go through first in order to ensure that the separation is something both parties want, and it is not simply a time of high emotion or a decision made in haste. for example, the couple must wait to see if the wife is pregnant, in which case they may reconsider their priorities and think more seriously about maintaining the wholeness of the family; both parties must live together in an amicable manner and not be hostile to each other; there is also a waiting period after the divorce is first stated, so there is a scope for reconciliation and arbitration. and these stipulations are explicit in the Quran..
wasalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah
|10/21/04 at 13:43:35|
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