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|..my brother wrote this ..want 2 share it !its hil|
|11/02/04 at 11:39:26|
[slm]hope every1s ramadan is going gr8 ! i just want to share this ..its writen by my brother ...........really funy ;D
Just a hopeless attemp at humour
Butthead Learns to Fast !
Me: Brother butthead, it gives me immense pleasure that you've decided to convert to Islam. Please recite your shadah.
Me: Mabrook brother. *hugs*
Beavis: Mabrook man!
Me: I now hook you up with brother Beavis who'll stay with you for a whole year and in this duration he will guide you about Islamic chores.
[After 4 months]
::: Ramadan 2004, First day of fasting... :::
::: Sehri (Starting of fast) time... :::
Beavis: Yo brother butthead, weakup its time to start your fast.
Butthead: *yaaa Why so early man its still dark aawnss*
Beavis: Well thats the point bro. Fasting starts just before dawn, get up quick while i arrange something to eat.
Butthead: Aight, so we'll fast till after magrib salah and eat or drink nothing in the meantime, right?
Beavis: Exactly and ...
Butthead: No no no.. wait a sec. We've got two slices of bread and an egg for each of us, are you kidding me or what!! How in the world would i survive till magrib on just one egg.
Beavis: But bro ...
Butthead: Hey dont call me a butt
Beavis: No man, i dint call you that, its ramadan so i'll mind my language more till next 30 days at least. I meant to say "but" as in "however"
Butthead: Oh okie, so you were sayin' ??
Beavis: Yeh,... but one egg a piece is what we have at the moment.
Butthead: Aww shucks, thats not fair. Its your fault and now i'm gonna eat your share too.
Beavis: Hey wait. No, listen. hey thats my share u r eating. Butthead.... give.... that.... back.... right..... now.
Butthead: *BURP* ... Wow, that was tasty.
Beavis: Holy cows, you eat faster than 5 men combined. And what the heck was that all about, you left nothing for me to eat.
Butthead: See i've left the bread-corners, you can eat them with a glass of water. Aight now, nighty nigthy *zzzZZzzzz....*
Beavis: Why you !!!!!
::: Next monring, 8:30 AM ... :::
Beavis: *peeps into the kitchen*
Beavis: Holy bananas, for the love of Allah... BRO BUTHHEAD STOP EATING THOSE COOKIES, U R SUPPOSED 2 B FASTING !!!!!!
Butthead: Oh dang... *akh thua thua thua* ... Trust me man i dint do it on purpose. I forgot, honest!
Beavis: umm.. okay. Happens.
Butthead: *Shakes head in despair* I committed a sin
Beavis: No no no, that aint a sin coz u dint do it on purpose.
Beavis: Of course
Butthead: Wow, what a relief
Butthead: And ... erm... my fast broke right? And i can eat as much as i can now, right? ... right?
Beavis: Nah, ur fast doesn't break by such mistakes.
Butthead: Oh okay.
::: later that day :::
Butthead: You know i was wondefooling, does farting break one's fast?
Beavis: What? lolz... What sort of question was that ... hahaha..
Butthead: Well it breaks your wudu so i thought....
Beavis: Nope, its different while fasting, it doesn't break it.
Butthead: And does looking at girls break your fast?
Beavis: Not exactly, but looking at them without any business need is a sin alright yet your fast still remains unbroken.
Butthead: You see these lads at uni were eyeing at girls like there is no tomorrow and were fasting as well.
Beavis: Its sinful and Allah will judge them bro...
Butthead: But man they were doing it to such an extent that their fast must break.
Beavis: haha, dunno man. To the best of my knowledge it doesn't break one's fast.
Butthead: Dude there must be a way, them lads are ultra cheap their fast must break... He wait a minute, i have an idea, would it break their fast if i fart on their faces?
Beavis: ROFL... Where did you get that crazy idea from. Fart on their faces?... lolz, man ur crazy.
Butthead: So they get less thawaab by going all eyeballs at girls?
Butthead: And what if i look at my wife, shes a girl! Would i get less thawaab then?
Beavis: No, shes your wife, thats why!
Butthead: Ah, so looking at *my* wife is okay?
Beavis: Of course.
Butthead: Is it okay for you as well... to look at my wife.
Butthead: Okay to look at your wife?
Beavis: Hell yeah!
Butthead: Is it okay for me to look at yours'?
Beavis: HELL NO.... grr...
Butthead: hm... its making sense now.
Butthead: Okay another question... So like one must not go close to food while fasting right? But then how shall i be able to cook something to complete my fast?
Beavis: Nah.. you can surely cook.
Butthead: What about tasting the food then?
Beavis: It'll break your fast.
Butthead: But then how will i know i'm following the recipe correctly.
Beavis: Just be more careful while putting the ingredients, thats the only way.
Butthead: Come on now, tasting something doesn't mean ur eating it.
Butthead: aha... idea!... what if i let you taste it as well *nod* *nod*. Problem solves right? *winks*
Beavis: Are u tryna bribe me?
Butthead: So what, a lil bribery wont break your fast.
Beavis: Gaah!! But bribery's still a sin!! Try to use your brains man.
Butthead: Umm okay. And One last thing. How do i complete my fast then?
Beavis: Preferably, you need a date to complete your fast
Butthead: Wow *evil grin* .. So like your date feeds you to complete your fast? How romantic.. this muslim religion is kewl man! *nod* *nod* *wink* *wink*
Beavis: No way, i dint mean *that* type of date. Dating is a sin, I meant the edible date that they import from arabia.
Butthead: Ah i see...
::: Iftar (end of fast) Siren goes off :::
Butthead: Ruunnnn for you livveeess........... *hides under the table*
Beavis: Come on buddy relax, its just a the "kuggoo", the siren they use in masjid to announce completion of fasting.
Butthead: Phew, and i thought that the planes of evil allied forces are here to liberate my soul from my body'd captivity.
Beavis: Nah, relax bud and lets have these tasty samosas, pokaroas and.... Hey thats my share ... no wait ... thats my... dangit butthead eat only your share man... hey give that back to me...
*** Butthead Learns to Fast Ends! ***
Till the next hopeless attempt
|Re: ..my brother wrote this ..want 2 share it !its|
|11/02/04 at 12:01:30|
haha..yeah that siren's hecka scary man. at my place, they have two...one that goes off to signal waking up...and if you're in a deep sleep and it goes off...it feels like someone beat your heart up. scary, scary.
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