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|This just in.....|
|05/03/05 at 20:12:43|
OK. Don’t be mad at me, but despite of all the advice I received to do otherwise….I went with my Istikharah and heart and went to Pakistan and GOT MARRIED!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!! Al-hamdulillah. It was an all of a sudden kind of thing, spur of the moment, made the decision once after I received the answer from Istikhara, so I didn’t have time to let anyone know…not even my community.
I just got back from Pakistan and what an experience. The wedding was the largest ever. Families and relatives from all over Pakistan came. Over 500 people. I was stressed out. I hope they don’t all expect me to remember their names. There was the mehndi night with the yellow and green shalwar chemise. And the firecrackers. The lighted wedding homes. Then the dinner by the groom with the brownish/reddish/sparkly shalwar chemise then there was the nikkah shalwar chemise, orange and sparkly. Then there was the ultimate beautiful purple wedding dress. He and his sister chose that color because it is my favorite color and they decided on the design together…too bad they made my face like a Japanese stage actress. Eh….he said I looked very beautiful though ghostly white again.
There was the carriage ride. The guava fruit trees, the buffaloes, the squatting bathroom, and cold showers and rain pouring into our living room with no ceiling, and his roof top that overlooked the entire village unto the Masjid. The wheat fields. The hugs and kisses, Abu jee and his smiles Ammi jee and her kisses, Mama jee and her kisses, Nani her hard work to make me beel comfortable. The broken English and my broken Punjabi. And the spicy food with the “mazada” Pakistan home made flat bread. And then the traveler’s diarrhea on the way back home.
And what about this custom of theirs where the younger brother has to touch the knee of his brother’s bride? Someone please explain that to me.
Please make du’a for us. Allah (SWT) bless…….
|05/03/05 at 20:27:59|
WoW Congrats! MashAllah! ..i hope everything goes good ! take care!
|05/03/05 at 23:08:07|
Congrats to you Trustworthy. I hope the best for you! And your wedding sounds like a cinderella wedding - a carriage, fruits, and those little cute mouses - lol I'm just joking.
Aww, Congratulations! :)
|05/04/05 at 04:30:30|
MashaAllah!!! ahh u must have been so excited..
inshAllah Allah swt blesses your marriage...
my turn next ye?? InshaAllah ;)
|Re: This just in.....|
|05/04/05 at 07:16:12|
| [slm] mabrooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooook|
[quote]what about this custom of theirs where the younger brother has to touch the knee of his brother’s bride? Someone please explain that to me. [/quote]
never heard of that one before.
|Re: This just in...|
|05/04/05 at 07:21:39|
Mabrook to you. May Allah swt make you both happy sis :-*
|05/04/05 at 13:23:25|
Jazakh… for all of your blessings and du’as. Surprisingly, there were no mice, but there were plenty of flies and mosquitoes that did not take any bite of me. Cinderella huh? Hmmmm,,,,? I could see that.
I miss Pakistan, but I don’t think I could live in the village. I could live in the city and I’m dying to watch him play cricket or even a cricket game live. I miss the halaal Big Macs and it was so cool that they had a Big Mac in chicken. I love their houses and the people (all Muslims) are all so wonderful and beautiful. I still freak out about the way they drive though. Speed and brake. Speed and brake and swerve for the other car or horse/buffalo carriages and motorcyclists. No street signs to the village so I’ll never find my way back to his village if I ever want to do a surprise visit. DANG IT!
Now when the visa is taken care of then the wedding here will be planned and you all have to come to my wedding here. I’ll wear my Pakistani wedding dress for you all. I feel as though you are all family. I mean we’ve known each other for years now so if you don’t come, I’ll take offense unless you have a valid excuse (see I’m not that harsh). I think it’s time we put the faces to the sign on names.
I’ll let you know in about 4 – 6 months.
And still interested in that custom with the knee thing....
As always, Allah (SWT) bless….
|05/04/05 at 13:24:45|
|05/04/05 at 22:26:32|
Wow mubrook dear sis! Talk about surprises!
May Allah swt shower the union with much barakah, Ameen.
I've never heard of the strange touching-the-knee custom..inshaAllah someone will enlighten us ;D
|05/05/05 at 00:34:20|
YAAY!! Alhamdulilah....Thats greaaaaaat to hear!
Congratulations sis Trustworthy!! :-* :) :-X
May Allah(swt) shower His blessings on both of you and fill your life with happiness.
|05/05/05 at 00:41:23|
|05/05/05 at 01:59:23|
I assume the city was Lahore...I mean there's only two cities with halaal big macs ;)
Don't know about the custom either. Never run into it. Oooh it must be a punjabi thing. Maybe it's a money custom. That would really suck, if it is.
|05/05/05 at 02:44:07|
Speaking of money things. They did this thing to me where each person that wanted to give us money had to feed me sweets and rub oil on my hair and then with the money they wanted to give held it above my head and made circular motions while sitting on a small throne that had a top. That was one custom.
Another custom was the knee thing...it was awkward and very uncomfortable for me. He warned me like seconds earlier about it which my response was "HUH?". I told him afterwards to break that custom cause it's haram anyways to do.
Another custom was that I had to put some kind of gray dust on his brothers eyelash. Another uncomfortable thing.
Another custom I enjoyed but probably shouldn't have was the competition dance the men had between themselves and OMG the ladies were throwing money at them. Some actually went so close as too put in their shirts. The men were in their 20s and the ladies were like 2ice their age and probably their Aunts so I'm sure it was all in good fun.
Then they pulled me up to dance and I was like "uh-uh nehi nehi nehi. main theek ey. main theek ey. shukriya." A little broken punjabi for you there. They all laughed at me. Then it was Fajr time.
OHHHHHHH and how can I forget this...
OH MY GAWD...I was in the room sitting pretty and all of a sudden I heard bells outside. They came to get me and said, "Bah jee idra idra" which means SIL come come. So they pulled me by the hands and take me outside. There was this very big lady (not large) with bells on her ankles dancing. She comes to me and starts dancing around me doing that circular thing with the money on top of my head. Then I hear her speak in this deep manly voice. It freaked me out so I had no idea what she was saying. I looked at my husband and I was so red with "What the He**?" While in my mind asking...why did you let these transvestite men into our house to bless me? I don't want that kind of blessing!!
He told me that they were not invited. They just know that our house had a celebration and that's what they do. Look for houses and walk in uninvited and dance so they feel obligated to give them money. I was a little upset because when a second one came in, I refused to go outside so they let him into my room to bless me there. My husband was not there to stop them. I just moved my head back and was like nehi nehi.
BUT I made new customs of my own like when they were taking pictures, I had them call Abu jee and Ammi jee to come in and take pictures with me. I refused to not have any pictures without them. When they came, I held both their arms in my arms and smiled BIG cause I was happy. Another one, when Abu jee went to touch my head, I gave him a hug after.
There were other embarassing moments I'd rather not mention or share becuase.....just because.
I better stop before you guys get bored.
It was so different from the U.S. and such a wonderful change. I wanted to stay longer but there weren't any flights available until May which I could not do. I wanted to go to Maarie Mtn because my husband wanted to take me there. Says it's very beautiful. I'll go there the next time I visit Pakistan insha-Allah.
Thanks for listening guys.
Allah (SWT) bless.....
|05/05/05 at 02:47:46|
|05/05/05 at 07:00:06|
Congratulations, :-* dunno about the knee touching tradition either (it probably is to do with getting money). We do the hide the grooms shoes when he comes to take the sister to his house (also to do with money).
They weren't tranvestites either they're eunuchs (big difference), they tend to turn up uninvited during both births and marriages in our neck of the woods.
I for one find it fascinating, so thanks for shareing with us.
Hope you have a wonderful and fulfilling marriage, and remember start as you mean to go on.
Love & Duaas
|05/08/05 at 05:25:38|
|Paki Customs .......|
|05/05/05 at 07:08:17|
Well just wondering why all Pakis are silent on the board and not helping the poor GIRLS about Paki traditions. Never mind I try to break the ice, the traditions what sister Trustworthy is talking about are actually Punjabi traditions and are well know not only in Pakistan but also in Indian Punjab. With passage of time those traditions are now getting limited to rural areas particularly that middle sex people dancing with bells around their ankles.
Regard touching the ankles of newly wed bride by the younger brother in law is called "Godh Bathai" we can translate it as "Lap sitting". Actually in old days "Bhabi" who is wife of elder brother used to be consider as mother of younger brother(s) in law and those feeling used to be expressed by sitting in her lap on the wedding day. And he would not get up from her lap unless she gives him some money. That tradition is diluted or modified with time just by touching her knee.
Just wondering there were no ritual like "Doodh Palie" (Milk Feeding) or "Joota Chopie" (Shoe Hiding) actually those customs are usually from relatives of bride so not sure either that SIDE existed at all?
|05/05/05 at 09:47:30|
Wouldn't lap sitting be...
|05/05/05 at 16:54:26|
Nice to read your posts again!!
May Allah SWT bless your marriage and guide you and your hubby on the path of righteousness...ameen.
|05/05/05 at 19:48:18|
|[quote author=Trustworthy link=board=bebzi;num=1115167882;start=0#6 date=05/04/05 at 13:23:25] [slm]...|
they had a Big Mac in chicken. [/quote]
:o i love chicken ...and it sure did sound lieka fairy tale :-* sallams
|Paki Customs .......|
|05/06/05 at 01:24:41|
[quote]Wouldn't lap sitting be...
For sure it is, actually with exception to few traditions in my opinion all of them are nothing more than rubbish and continuation of Jahilia customs. If we try to go deep into origin of those traditions we come to know that most of them originate from Hinduism. Things are changing scholars are up against those customs and there are political and social groups who are trying to create awareness but so far they are very much there and might remain there ......
[quote]There were other embarassing moments I'd rather not mention or share becuase.....just because.[/quote]
Sister Trustworthy has tried to create suspence like indian movies through upper mentioned statement. Let me just guess what could be those embarassements .....well one thing which have very high probability is there was no toilet in the house and people were going to fields for it, so this way sister Trustworthy had chance to renew a almost dead sunnah of Holy Prophet [saw] and mothers of believers (RAU) ??? ......... ;D
|Jazakh...for all your du'as and blessings.|
|05/06/05 at 18:54:55|
Heh heh heh….uh….NO……………..comment. :(
To find out what those were, look at “Trustworthy’s Foreign Embarrassing Moments” thread.
I would like to say Jazakh…for the very insightful background in Pakistan Punjabi Traditions. My husband did not even know himself why they did what they did. I was like then why follow something you don’t know about especially something that seems to be haram? I don’t think I would mind much if the younger brother was like 10 or under and the bride was like 20+ and there was no squeezing of the knee. But you are talking about the younger brother being in his early 20s and the bride being in her late 20s. That is definitely haram especially if the younger brother has to squeeze the knee for a long length of time. I was so furious. I hope it didn’t show on my face (probably did) and I hope I didn’t seem rude.
Heck I broke off many traditions in my culture because it went against Islamic law. Its good to hear that someone is trying to get that fixed or at least educate the people about it. While in the village, a few times, there would be someone driving in a car with a megaphone saying something, maybe they could educate the village dwellers that way.
Allah (SWT) bless….
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