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 41 
 on: Apr 11, 2014 03:05 AM 
Started by Siham - Last post by IsmiAnisa
Nice post, but I want to disagree with one of the initial points of negative people being drawn to negative energy.  I have found it common for negative people to be drawn to positive energy, in an unfortunate manner.  The negative people are often drawn to the positive energy, because they see something that is missing and desirable in their life.  Unfortunately, their negativism causes them to suck the life out of anything positive, transforming it to a negative if allowed.  They are leeches, constantly latching on to positive energy, sucking it dry, then moving on to the next.  Positive people must take care to avoid allowing these poisonous people into their lives.  Constantly being around one of those people described in the initial post above can be very draining and detrimental. 

 42 
 on: Apr 10, 2014 07:52 PM 
Started by Siham - Last post by Siham
How Negative Energy Affects Your Life and How to Clear It

You know that like attracts like, right? So here's the deal: Positive people are drawn to positive energy; negative people are drawn to negative energy. We tend to perceive negative energy as something other people have. Sure, sometimes we feel negative – as in, “go away and leave me alone, world!” but did you know that negativity can be so ingrained in you that it goes unnoticed? That's because negativity sometimes wears a disguise called ‘reality'. It's easy to rationalize that you're ‘just being realistic' in not daring to act on a dream – and believe it! You may assume that positive people are not being realistic – that they're being naive, that they are in denial with their heads stuck in the sand, that they put on fake smiles in the face of difficulty and so forth. But are they really happy idiots or is there something to their positivity?

Consider this: since when does ‘being realistic' necessarily mean that things will go wrong and that you have to accept that as the truth? That doesn't mean that being realistic is automatically negative. When you view the world from a ‘realistic' standpoint, you can't help but be negative IF your version of reality is negative. If your version of reality is negative, you are conditioned to believe that whatever can go wrong, will go wrong and whatever can go right, will probably go wrong too. Your unconsciously held beliefs make you into a negative person without your being aware of it! So – if this negativity is so ingrained in you that you don't notice it, how do you determine whether you're stuck in a cloud of negative energy that is attracting the wrong people, wrong situations and wrong feelings? And how can you be sure you're not perpetuating that negativity?

Here's a quick quiz to gauge the level of negative energy within you:

- Do you complain? All the time or just sometimes?
- Do you often discuss what's wrong in the world more than what's right? This includes the ‘terrible' weather, ‘horrible' traffic, ‘idiotic' government, ‘lousy' economy, ‘stupid' in-laws, etc.
- Do you criticize? All the time or just certain people?
- Are you attracted to drama and disaster (can you unglue yourself from the TV when there's a news story of a disaster and can you avoid getting involved in the lives of dysfunctional celebrities?)
- Do you blame? All the time or just certain situations?
- Do you believe that you have no control over most of your results?
- Do you feel like a victim? Do you talk about people doing things to you?
- Are you grateful for what is or will you be grateful when things finally start going right for you?
- Do you feel like things are happening to you? Or do you feel that they are happening through you?

These last two points are important:

If you're not grateful except when things go right, you are negative. Gratitude is positive. If you are grateful for what is (including the unpleasant school of life lessons, then you can invite more and more positive energy into your life.)

Believing that things happen to you puts you in the role of victim; then it's easy to be negative because it's convenient to give up that power. So consider this alternative: who or what is to blame when GOOD things happen to you? Do you acknowledge that you are responsible for the good things – as in, you worked hard, you earned it, etc… but blame external events or other people for your failures? So how come, when good things happen, they are a result of what you do, but when bad things happen, they are not your fault?

Nobody likes to hear that. It takes courage to accept that you create your life experience!

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you are holding on to negative energy to some degree! To clear your negative energy and raise your vibration, you will need to retrain yourself to choose a positive attitude.

Here's another interesting idea to consider: have you noticed that positive people seem to get what they want out of life, and even if things don't go their way, they still enjoy their lives… while negative people whine and moan about their misfortunes and even the good things in their lives?

To clear negative energy, try this 3 -step process:

1. Take ownership: “When you think everything is someone else's fault, you will suffer a lot. When you realize that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both peace and joy.”  

2. Cancel negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts. This takes practice, dedication and making a decision to see the world through the eyes of “what can go right” instead of “what can go wrong.” You'll have to catch yourself anytime you are acting out or speaking out your negativity, and immediately change your tune.

3. Use the Spiritual Toolkit to clear your energy and bring more light and love into your life; visualize the positive instead of getting sucked into negativity; overcome past conditioning; think intuitively from the soul instead from ‘reality'; create a new, desired reality in your imagination and manifest it in the outer world. Nobody wants negative energy to permeate their lives, yet many of us allow it. But we allow it unconsciously, based on past conditioning that suggests an inevitable outcome to certain situations. When you overcome that conditioning and realize that the future is NOT cast in stone but that you have more control over your circumstances than you believe – then you can begin to consciously design your life.

What's going to happen then? Your positive energy will magnetically attract what you consider to be good and right for you: people, situations, things… and you'll notice a huge, huge increase in your happiness and inner peace.

Why not choose positive energy? Make some changes within, and you'll quickly see positive changes in your life. Enjoy the good feelings and abundance!


 43 
 on: Apr 10, 2014 07:24 PM 
Started by Siham - Last post by Siham
7 Things I Got Completely Wrong About Being A 'Good Wife'
Written by Jenny Erickson on CafeMom's blog, The Stir

For nearly 11 years of marriage, I thought I had the wife thing down pat. I was by no means perfect, but I loved being a wife, and I tried really hard to be the best one I could possibly be. I had shelves filled with books on how to be a better wife, how to pray for my husband, how to survive difficult marriages ... I actually thought I was a stronger, better person for staying married despite some very serious challenges.

A lot of the advice I sought out on how to be the best wife possible went something along the lines of "show love to get love." No husband wants a nagging shrew of a wife, right? To make my marriage work, I just needed to be the best wife I could possibly be, and my husband would be compelled to love me back.

Maybe that works for some people. Maybe I did it wrong. Maybe I didn't do enough. I don't know. What I do know now though is that some of the very things I thought were right ended up being very wrong for my particular situation.

Here are seven things I got wrong about being a "good wife."

1. Being non-confrontational: I'm a people-pleaser by nature, so confrontation is definitely not my thing. What this translated to, unfortunately, was letting things slide when they really bugged me. Sometimes I tried to talk to him about it but was usually countered by my own fault in something. I figured if I wasn't perfect, it wasn't fair to be upset with him for not being perfect either. I wish I had stood up for myself more often.

2. Covering for him: My ex is something of a homebody. I used to try dragging him out to things, but he was just so miserable most of the time that I eventually left him home, saying he had to work or something. Or take care of the kids, even though we could've easily gotten a sitter. Sometimes when his social anxiety got the best of him, I excused his behavior as work stress, or allergies, or something. I should have realized that was his battle, not mine.

3. Never saying no: The first time I remember saying no and sticking to my guns was on my 10th anniversary. We got into a cataclysmic fight over it, and now I wonder if it was so shocking to him because I'd always caved to him before.

4. Taking responsibility for his happiness: It's exhausting trying to keep someone happy all the time. I wish I had let him take ownership of his moods and worked harder at not letting them affect me so much.

5. Submitting to his leadership even when he was wrong: The church we attended for seven years excommunicated me for the "sin" of divorcing my husband. My closest friend there called the day after I left my husband and reamed me out. They publicly announced to the entire congregation that I had been "trapped in the snare of the Devil" and must be avoided. I had begged for years to leave there, but that's where we went, so we went. Now I wonder if things might have been different if I had gotten our family out of there years earlier.

6. A fake it 'til you make it mentality: I knew something was off in the weeks leading up to our wedding. But you know, I figured I just had normal wedding jitters. Over the years I learned that if I could just tough it out through whatever it was that my husband was going through that made him a bear to live with, my fun, care-free guy that made me the center of his universe would eventually return. I longed for the day that guy would come back to stay, but I didn't see him at all the last couple years. It broke my heart, but I had to let go of the fantasy and accept the reality.

7. A good wife would never abandon her marriage: My ex-husband and I ended up being very different people than the ones that said "I do" once upon a time. We not only had nothing in common, we had no common ground. Maybe a good wife recognizes that she will never be able to be what her husband wants, and she takes one for the team by ending the marriage when it's obvious there's no fixing it.

I honestly don't know what constitutes a "good wife" anymore, but I'm pretty sure there's no one-size-fits-all answer.

What do you think makes a good wife?

 44 
 on: Apr 10, 2014 06:14 AM 
Started by Siham - Last post by lucid
I think that is a classification of weirdo muslims. 

most muslims aren't weirdos like that.  but we always remember the weirdos.   that's that problem.

i didn't fit into any of those categories.


 45 
 on: Apr 10, 2014 03:36 AM 
Started by Shahida - Last post by IsmiAnisa
Beautiful!  Thanks for sharing.

 46 
 on: Apr 09, 2014 12:16 PM 
Started by Shahida - Last post by Shahida
Salam alaikum

I found this article by Jinan Bastaki on SuhaibWebb.com  It is really good, and is a reminder that we have control over how we respond to the hard knocks life deals us.  Our Prophet saws really was a model for us in every aspect, Allahumma salli ala sayyidina Muhammad.

http://www.suhaibwebb.com/islam-studies/islam-101/belief-and-worship/think-youve-failed-think-again/

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