Salaam & G`day,
I hope this message finds you well insha`Allah.
While he was in school I didn't want him to have to work to support us on top of his school responsibilities so I persuaded him to allow me to work 25-30 hrs a week, thinking that he would graduate any month now but as I said, it took him much longer than expected.
Well, the basis is that expenditure is obligatory upon the husband, thus the wife should insist on that at the very beginning of the relationship ... if she truly desires so, because men tend to get comfortable to the extent that they solely rely on their wives income.
Moreover, the wife`s money is for herself, but she may give some of it as a charity to him. However, if a man is able to earn a living that suffices him and his family ... then he is required to find a job and support them. 'Cos he is able to find a job and in this case he may not be given zakat, because he has sufficed himself and is not in need of it ... hence, it would be not permissible for him to take it with the claim that he is in need ect.,
Lastly, try talkin' to him again and showing him your concern in a nice way ... tell him how you feel and how his behavior is effecting you ect,. If that doesn't work, involving a third party to advice him; any person who has an influence over him.
May Allah(SubHana Wa Ta`ala) help you and guide you to whats kheir!