// i kknow some1 from the internet
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Poll
Question: what shall I do ?
to be patient and wait for him - 1 (11.1%)
to forget hm and go into my life - 8 (88.9%)
Total Voters: 8

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al-waaha
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« on: Sep 06, 2008 12:17 PM »


as salaam alaikum sis and bros, its a year and 9 months since i know someone from matrimonial site . he is muslem , american , well educated . he introduce me through web cam to his mother who is also muslem , alhamdulillah. we talked long i like him very much and he too says he likes me very much. but we did not see each other yet . he appointed many dates but he did not come . when i asked why he answers his manager is in vacation ; he has not enough money ; he left to see his father or sisters in usa ( he lives in uae) etc or he appoint another date he says : june he did not come in june ; he says july etc alla month ....he appointed all months and all weeks but he did not keep no appointement. at the beginning once i talked to his mom she told me that her son does not drink , smoke , gumble. but lately i observed he sounde not level headed. when i told him its over he calls or sms and say to be patient and that he needs me and love me.
now thier is a potential husband , i contact him i tell him it and ask him to join me or call to discus it , you know what was the answer he sms me back saying he cant talk now he is moving some fornitureto flat.
brothers and sisters , I need your advice
thanks all

  
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« Reply #1 on: Sep 06, 2008 03:02 PM »

salam

What advice were you after?

He is not reliable and is too busy to ever meet, alarms bells are ringing.

If he were serious you would be married by now. Change your phone number and enjoy the rest of Ramadan in peace.


Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #2 on: Sep 06, 2008 08:11 PM »

wsalam,

best advice i would give any sister and i wish someone had told me years ago is 'if he's not serious and making steps to get married then cut him out of your life and move on to someone who is'. no point in wasting your life over someone who might, but most likely might not marry you. good luck  flowersis
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« Reply #3 on: Sep 09, 2008 12:24 PM »

Assalamu alaikum

What do you want to do?

You may think you don't know, but again I will ask you 'What do you want to do?'

You know deep down.

What is it?

Ok....Now if you stick with that decision where do you see your life in 5 years time? Are you happy or sad? How is your deen? Do you have kids? How are they? Where is your life? Imagine your life in 10 years time? How old are you? What have you done with your life?

Answer these questions for yourself and then Inshallah I think you will be able to close this topic because the decision will be clear.

I would advise you use the sisters here and get support with whatever decision you decide to make and may Allah make it easy for you.

Wassalam

Sr. Farzana

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al-waaha
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« Reply #4 on: Sep 09, 2008 01:22 PM »

as salaamu alaikum,

      thanks for all isiters , he called me and say that he is going to come before shawaal. i believe him....
salaam
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« Reply #5 on: Sep 09, 2008 05:00 PM »

salam

May I ask Sr. how long will you wait for this man?

If say theoretically he does not turn up in shawwal, what will you do?



Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
Abdurahman
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Oh Allah, Guide us to the Straight Path.


« Reply #6 on: Sep 10, 2008 12:51 AM »

Asalamualaikum wrt wb,


All praise be to Allah, whose veil is Light.


Honorable sister,


True success is following the Prophet, may peace and the blessings of Allah be upon him.  We have to remove our hatred and ill-feelings towards the knowledge.  This hatred or revulsion to the knowledge is from the Shaitan, who wishes to lead us astray.

Signs of this disease of the heart, is that when knowledge is mentioned, the person tries to change the subject, or attacks the speaker, or has ill-feelings towards him or her.

The Prophet, may peace and the blessings of Allah be upon him said, "One of you will not believe until his or her desires are in accordance with what I came with." ie. the Sunnah.


I ask Allah for all my brothers and sisters, that they are able to remove their revulsion and repulsion to the Sunnah, and the knowledge, and the scholars, and that He change it to love.


As for your question, it seems that you should set a date, or a deadline for this proposal.  If it does not come through by this date, then you should move on.  Whatever date you set, whether it is 1 month, or 3 months, or 6 months, stick to it.

If things do not work out by that date, then it will become permissable for other suitors to propose to you.  But since you are currently considering someone, it is not permissable for a brother to propose over the proposal of his brother, and you may be missing out on someone better.


And Allah knows best.

Be merciful to those on earth, and the One in the Heavens will be merciful to you.
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« Reply #7 on: Sep 10, 2008 01:54 AM »

,

      he is going to come before shawaal. i believe him....
salaam
My name is optimist but I pessimist this time .I would say do not trust a man till he is your husband. Sorry I am not actually trying to put you in despair .I wish if he is really honest but if things go the other direction before shawall?Huh??would you still  believe if it is postponded to  DUL GHAIDAH ? so be careful sis and good luck

MAY ALLAH PICK WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU
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