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Author Topic: Taking Off My Hijab  (Read 16345 times)
Halima
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« on: Sep 21, 2008 05:48 PM »


Wow!  She created her own comfort level.  What is interesting is how she reached her decision.  By the way, Zimbabwe is in Southern Africa and not East Africa.

A contradiction of what I posted yesterday – “Why I shed bikini for niqab”?

Personally, I think she looks better in Hijab.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Taking Off My Hijab

I put on a headscarf because I felt God wanted me to cover up. But then I wondered if it was really required of me.

By Andrea Useem

Taking off my hijab didn’t just happened in one dramatic instant. Yes, there was a moment in a crowded bathroom at the Abu Dhabi airport, in the United Arab Emirates, when I unwound the gauzy blue scarf from around my head and stepped back out into a mixed-gender world, feeling naked.

But really, taking off the hijab was a year-long process of stripping me down and peeling back the assumptions and beliefs I had wrapped tightly around myself as a recent convert to Islam. It was like I had fallen in love with Islam, married it, and then discovered a whole bunch of things that were difficult, if not impossible, for me to live with on a day-to-day basis. I wanted the relationship to work; I started looking for compromises.

That process was lonely, and difficult, but I stepped out of that bathroom--and that year of endless reflection--as a new kind of Muslim, one, I hoped, I could comfortably live with for the rest of my life. That’s the kind of Muslim I still aspire to be today: True to the religion’s most basic principles and practices, but questioning of dogma and traditional interpretations. Back when I wrestled with these ideas, I realized that I needed some religious breathing room. And I had to take off my scarf to find it.

Andrea Useem with her headscarfMy de-jab (taking off the hijab) story begins with how I came to Islam and started to wear a headscarf. I didn’t start wearing hijab right when I converted in 1999. Indeed, when I first said my shahadah, or testimony of faith, in the house of Scotch-Indian-Zimbabwean friends in Harare, I had given little thought to how I would dress as a Muslim. Not long after my conversion, for example, I bought a two-piece purple bathing suit and wore it on the beach in Tel Aviv, Israel without a second thought.

As a journalist based in East Africa for several years, I had of course seen many Muslim women wearing many different kinds of coverings. All of them fascinated me, but none seemed to apply to me. In Mombasa, Kenya, for example, I watched a wrinkled Swahili Muslim woman balance her head-load of onions with one hand, carry a bucket of water with the other and clutch the black polyester folds of her robe between her teeth. I wondered at the time how a religious covering could so spectacularly impractical.

It was only when I returned to the U.S. from East Africa and saw educated Muslim American women my age wearing headscarves that I began to wonder why my own head was bare. Being a graduate student in theology, I tackled the question intellectually: Was covering my head and concealing the rest of my body an inviolable part of the religion I had embraced?

I asked this question to the de facto Muslim chaplain at Harvard, whose own wife wore full-length black robes and a face veil at the time. He pointed out that all four traditional schools of Sunni law agree that a woman should cover everything except her hands, feet and face as an act of modesty. That scholarly consensus seemed pretty persuasive. What I loved about Islam is that its essential wisdom--the necessity of daily prayer, the unity of God’s existence--seemed to transcend time, place and culture. Maybe this was true with veiling as well?

I prayed about it, I read about, and I talked obsessively about it with Muslim friends. Finally, the answer seemed clear: God wanted me to cover. I remember standing in front of my small mirror in Cambridge, Mass., feeling as if an angel were draping the folds of cloth over my hair. It required courage, of course, to walk out the front door that day. But fellow Muslims cheered me on, and I suddenly found myself invited to give talks and presentations at my local mosque.

But this positive attention also had a negative side. After 9/11 in particular, I began to feel like a poster girl for Islam, pushed out on stage in my prim headscarf to defend Islam in accent-free, graduate-schooled American English. A very conservative Muslim man I knew praised me at the time for "flying the flag of faith," and wherever I went, the symbolism of the scarf seemed to proceed me. I realized flags make uncomfortable clothing.

But the minor misgivings in Boston were nothing compared to the massive tremors of doubt I felt soon after I moved to Muscat, Oman, in 2002, with my husband (a fellow convert) and our baby son. It was hot--soul-crushingly hot--there I was, wrapped up like a skier ready to hit the slopes. As a stressed new mother, I felt like paying attention to stray strands of hair was absurdly trivial. And although I had a number of wonderful Omani friends, including educated, hijab-wearing, working women, I felt disturbed by aspects of the country’s sex-segregated, hijab-observing social order.

Did I really want to wear the scarf? And was it truly required for all Muslim women?

While men wore cool white cotton robes in the humid summer heat, Omani women wore several layers, often including leggings and a synthetic dress topped by a black abaya and headscarf. Our next door neighbor wouldn’t allow his son to swim at a hotel pool because western women wore bathing suits there. I felt like I lived in a society obsessed with sex, simply because so much of life was organized around the principle of separating them. Was this what Islam was all about, and were these the social arrangements I would wish for my own daughter if I ever had one?

Once the handle had been turned, the questions began to drip incessantly through my head. Did I really want to wear the scarf? What had really motivated me to wear it in the first place? Was that enough to keep me wearing it? What would happen if I took it off? And the granddaddy of them all: Was wearing a headscarf truly required for all Muslim women?

That last question troubled me the most. I went back to the answer that had first convinced me, the idea that four Muslim schools of thought agreed a woman had to veil. I thought more about these men, these medieval scholars who had decreed covering from head to toe mandatory for women. I slowly realized: I did not convert to follow their lead; I had little if any allegiance to them. They were just people--yes, educated pious ones--but people who lived at a particular time and place. I had embraced Islam as recognition of God’s oneness. And deep down I felt that infinite oneness was big enough to allow me to be myself and remain within it at the same time.

I knew many other Muslims pointed to certain verses in the Qur’an as "proof" that a certain type of covering was required. But study them as I might, I always found those verses ambiguous. One of the most crucial, Chapter 24, verse 31, reads in my English translation, in part: "And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty…" What exactly was that supposed to mean? It presented me only with more questions and the conviction that each believer must ultimately make some decisions on her own, however lonely that may be.

The turning point for me came one evening at a Muscat shopping mall when an obviously gay young man strode through the food court to order some fried chicken. I nearly gasped when I saw him. I had seen gay people before, of course. But in Oman, where gender is literally designated in black and white, the site was shocking, and I saw others around me gape and even laugh at him. Then I heard a voice inside my head say, "That’s brave."

At that moment, I saw how religious opinions become rules, and how rules become cultural norms, and how norms can extinguish the bright light of individual truth. I wanted to applaud that man, or hug him, or do sometime except sit there with a scarf on my head, inadvertently supporting a strict and--I realized right then--restrictive gender system in which he had no place.

I am uncomfortable with aspects of the Qur’an and classical Islamic law that allow polygamy, or unilateral male divorce, or make a women’s legal testimony worth less than a man’s. In my mind, now, the scarf is of one cloth with those ideas, and I needed to separate myself, at least symbolically, from them. Some of these principles are deeply embedded in Islamic law and scripture, so I don’t have any easy answers about how to reconcile those issues with my belief in God’s oneness and the simplicity and efficacy of the system of worship revealed to the Prophet Muhammad. And there are moments when I see a woman clad in her beautiful scarf and feel as if I have lost something.

But this long process was a one-way street, leading me to that bathroom in the Abu Dhabi airport, where I paused for a moment in the front of the mirror, surrounded by scarf-wearing, young Indonesian girls on their way to jobs in the Persian Gulf. I knew when I walked back upstairs the strange men in the waiting area would stare at me, but like that first morning when I first draped the scarf over my head, I just had to get on with it.

Back in the U.S., I was afraid to show myself to Muslim friends who knew me as a hijabi. Yet every one of them was kind and welcoming, and if they questioned my decision, they didn’t let me know. Sometimes at the mosque now, I see newly minted converts wearing headscarves and floor-length robes, or abayas, and I have the urge to whisper to them, "You can still be yourself"--but I don’t. I know each woman has her own path, her own story, and, perhaps, her own lessons to learn. Ultimately, I have come to feel, hijab is a question of religious freedom. I support the right of women both in the U.S. and abroad to dress in accordance with their beliefs – and I hope they can support my decision to do the same.



The Almighty Allah says,

"When a servant thinks of Me, I am near.
When he invokes Me, I am with him.
If he reflects on Me in secret, I reply in secret,
And if he acknowledges Me in an assembly,
I acknowledge him in a far superior assembly."

- Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reptd by Abu Huraira
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« Reply #1 on: Sep 21, 2008 06:55 PM »

salaam

Im sorry, I just dont get it?

she saw a gay man and thought he was brave to openly reject the rules of Allah swt, so she decided to do the same?
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« Reply #2 on: Sep 21, 2008 07:24 PM »

Quote
And there are moments when I see a woman clad in her beautiful scarf and feel as if I have lost something.

Subhanna Allah- her fitrah is still working. May Allah swt guide her.

So many in my community have taken off the scarf this year. It is interesting to read her perspective and good for us hijabi's to try to understand why they are coming to these conclusions. 

Insha Allah, she will get the Wisdom that goes with her perceived knowledge.

I would like to read more articles like this- but I worry if these kind of posts may cause more harm than good to others who are struggling. I really want to know what our young women are going through.

"Allah surely knows the warmth of every teardrop... " Jaihoon
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« Reply #3 on: Sep 21, 2008 09:48 PM »

It's unfortunate that while she's a convert she has the same misconceptions that someone first learning about islam does. That 1. Islam's rules are derived by medieval men. 2. that hijab is oppressive to your identity. 3. that as long as u believe in God's oneness you can do whatever you want 4. not able to separate culture and islam, and disliking the culture.

I think the issue here is that some sisters just don't have enough imaan (that undefinable religious strength and conviction and bravery as she said) to wear hijab. and because they feel guilt over this they try to find ways in their mind to justify it by saying islam doesn't require it, it's oppressive blah blah.

Anyway I have no problem with sisters who can't wear it. Every hijab wearing sister knows how difficult it is. To be as she said always looked at, always the flag bearer etc etc. It does take a lot of time to build that kind of iman to deal with that and the only way hijab sticks is if you change your lifestyle and thoughts as well. But no one should go around telling people it's not required. It is required by as she said every school of thought in islam, even shia! by every scholar from the time of rasulullah saw until now. By the ijmaa consensus of the Muslims. So it is required, but if you can't or choose not to wear it that's ur decision.

The trend I see nowadays are sisters who have worn hijab since they were little, now getting older and unmarried, after all these years taking it off. And don't think I haven't had that thought too (if i took of my hijab, if i wore different clothes wouldn't i be able to attract more guys).  It's sad. Maybe it'll work, maybe it won't, but it's just sad nonetheless. I also find it sadly ironic that moving to an 'Islamic' country is what made her decide to take it off!



Quote
That last question troubled me the most. I went back to the answer that had first convinced me, the idea that four Muslim schools of thought agreed a woman had to veil. I thought more about these men, these medieval scholars who had decreed covering from head to toe mandatory for women. I slowly realized: I did not convert to follow their lead; I had little if any allegiance to them. They were just people--yes, educated pious ones--but people who lived at a particular time and place. I had embraced Islam as recognition of God’s oneness. And deep down I felt that infinite oneness was big enough to allow me to be myself and remain within it at the same time.
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« Reply #4 on: Sep 22, 2008 04:55 PM »

salam

See I have no problems with the choice women make, whether to wear hijab or not. it is so very personal its not easy at all, and we must each reach the point ourselves in our own way.

However it riles me like anytihng when muslimahs who have decided for whatever reason not to wear hijab, then try and foist their decision on the ones who do wish to wear it. By all means enjoin good, watch silently when others are doing something that you have not yet reached yourself, don't try and upset and dissuade them.

There are enough non-muslims banging on about loss of identity and hijab not being in the quran without muslimahs adding fuel to the fire.

It's just the above article that non muslim women present to me with and say, see this woman says hijab is not compulsory and she's muslim so it must be true!!!!


Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #5 on: Sep 22, 2008 10:10 PM »

Asslamo AlaykumYou know what troulbles me the most is when you see ladies, girls call them what you want who wear the hijab one day and the next they don't then a week later it's back on and stays on for a month then you will see them again with the hair all done up, poker straight and no hijab, WHY?Huh?  ???There is  a girl I know who does something like this but what can I say to her? She is married her husband has asked her to wear the hijab especially when she goes out, so what does she do? When her husband is at home and she needs to go out you will see her with the hijab wrapped around her head properly but, when her husband is at work and she goes out then there is no hijab no nothing! I just don't get it.Or there are the girls who seem to like to show they are religious during ramadan which is even more annoying, as they keep the hijab on all month then as soon as it's eid day it's swiped off their heads not to be seen for another year!May Allah swt help all of us.
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« Reply #6 on: Sep 22, 2008 10:28 PM »

Muslimah,

If they are new Muslims, then perhaps they are trying to acclimate themselves to get used to it.. Sometimes, especially if you are from a non-Muslim family or working in a very rigid/non-accepting environment, it is not easy. Many people take for granted the support they get from their family, friends, ethnic identity for bearing the banner of Islam on their bodies.. For those that don't have this, it's very difficult. There may be a few who grew up with the "I don't care about anyone else!" attitude, and that's great, but not everyone is like that.

For example, I couldn't/didn't wear hijab to work.. I don't have that problem now because I'm not currently employed (looking!), but I did have a LOT of personal conflict and guilt about this. It wasn't just some carefree, "oh, I'm going to work now, I'm going to take it off".. I was embarrassed when I removed it and scared someone would see me without it. I felt like such a hypocrite, but I had to make money, had to work..

So, I don't know the girls you are talking about who take it on and off, but maybe it's not as easy for them as you think it is. Maybe they aren't just doing it to be silly.. For the woman doing it for her husband, she may not want to do it at all, but only does it for him..

I guess it's just a really personal decision.

I try to remember to count my blessings each day because I have many:

To be thankful for my health, and that of my loved ones, the presence of my husband and the continuation of our marriage, that we can pay our bills and have food on the table..

So many blessings but often, so little thanks!
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« Reply #7 on: Sep 22, 2008 10:46 PM »


Sis LeylaNur,

The girls I am talking about are all from Muslim backgrounds with muslim parents and families, who practise Islam, pray their salaat and read the Quran, so it is kinda weirs when you see them behave this way.  And yes maybe the girl who is married is only doing it for her husband and not herself but when he isn't around and she isn't doing it and he thinks she is, would that not be deceiving him?
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« Reply #8 on: Sep 22, 2008 10:56 PM »

wsalam,

Do you know the personal details of her life to say she is "deceiving her husband"? Perhaps she doesn't wear it when she goes out alone because she's scared to with all the hate crimes and she feels more confident with her husband. Or whatever. Always give 1000 excuses for your sister. I'm sure there are things all of us are doing which aren't perfect either. Sometimes it's a problem of education. Sometimes it's a problem of not believing. Sometimes it's weakness. etc etc. Let's all work on the inside first before we go around criticizing other people's not wearing hijab/or not wearing it to our liking.

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« Reply #9 on: Sep 23, 2008 01:14 AM »

As salaamu alaikum

Indeed it is interesting to read "struggle" stories such as this one.  Any of us living in areas where Islam and Muslims are stared at or frowned upon (or worse)  it can be difficult to go about daily life unnoticed and unannoyed.  For some it does simply become a choice - to cover or not to cover - but for others it isn't a choice but rather a requirement in order to survive.  If I didn't work where I currently do and have the job function that I have I would most likely be in this quandry - cover and risk not having a job to provide for my family or not cover at work and be able to feed my family.  This is not a position that any woman should ever have to be in but sadly it is a reality.  It becomes even worse when some covered sisters are passed by in favor of scantily clad women/girls by our own Muslim brothers.  Like hello! What's wrong with that picture.

I think if anything she admired the gay man's bravery because he knew the risks but went forth anyway.  Now it is doubtful that such could be done in other countries.  I wonder if in general we should hide our personalities in favor of what "everyone else does" or not.  Will doing such make us happy?  I doubt it and besides no one should willingly make themselves miserable nor do I think Islam requires us to be miserable; not when it's supposed to be a beautiful way of life.


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« Reply #10 on: Sep 23, 2008 10:53 PM »

Asslamo Alaykum


Sis Jannah - It is a simple question I have asked 'would this girl be considered to be deceiving her husband if he thinks she is wearing hijab when she is not?' I did not say 'She is deceiving her husband' and yes as a matter of fact I do know this girl's personal life quite well, it has nothing to do with the hate crimes for her not wearing her hijab when she is out and not that she feels more confident in wearing it when her husband is with her, she wears the hijab when he is home and she is going out with others, just so that he can see that she is wearing it and doing what he has asked of her.  It is all to do with being in fashion and she does not consider the hijab to be a part of that 'lifestyle' of hers.

This is not a criticism that I have made I have merely made a point on the topic that is being discussed, so why you feel you need to say things like you have is beyond me.  I have enough to deal with without you making out that I was in the wrong to comment.

Walaikum Salaam
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« Reply #11 on: Sep 24, 2008 04:14 AM »

As-Salaamu` alaylum,

I’m sure sister jannah means well— because no one wants to be criticized, irrespectively of whether whats been said is the truth or not.

So, please lets encourage each other to do whats right and overlook each others shortcomings insha`Allah.

Ramadan Kareem:)
W`salaam

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« Reply #12 on: Sep 24, 2008 04:25 AM »

walaikum salaam wrt,

You said you asked a simple question, I too asked a simple question.

About the details of her life, even if someone was her best most closest friend & confidant, they do not know what is in her heart or intention. No one but Allah knows that. No one can make a judgement upon this sister except Allah. What good does it do speculate on her life and her intentions? We are not responsible for anyone but ourselves. Think the best of your sister and let's work on ourselves.

ws



Quote
Do you know the personal details of her life to say she is "deceiving her husband"?
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« Reply #13 on: Sep 25, 2008 10:41 AM »

Aslaam Alaikum,

I found the article interesting for several reasons.

One she took off her hijab in Oman, a Muslim society. Honestly, if she were in the west well there is the conflicts of feeling the pressure of standing out, but Oman? THat is a plus to living there, more societal support.

One should wear and make changes in one's like to please Allah Subhana wataala.  This can be a fine line.. as we cannnot but be influenced by others around us. We are human and this is why we raise our kids in a certain manner, to influence them. So of course we are influenced. And when we get right down to it, we should aim to please Allah. To love Allah. To do what Allah wants.

Thr vast majority of Muslim women in the US, do not wear hijab, or shall I say, complete hijab. Most i think wear conservative clothes, some have gone the other way off the deep end and go quite naked.She is in fact going with the majority. We have several million Muslim women in the US, and most may cover at at the masjid but most don't cover if they ar eout in every day life, especially if they work.

And another thing that was interesting is that she became a Muslim and "went against" the grain of US life. Saw a guy going "against the grain" in Oman and felt an affinity in that sense.  Maybe some people like to do that even subconsciously? Could be.

And she was criticizing culture and to a degree she was right.. that some outfits are impractical. But is that Islam or culture? And sometimes culture binds people so tight they cannot know, or see what they are doing. And how would they without exposure to other ideas or options.

This is why we should "gut check" our actions at the door, why are we doing what we are doing? Is it to please our Creator or others. Sometimes the line is hard to distinguish.
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« Reply #14 on: Oct 06, 2008 07:24 PM »

Here's an interesting discussion on hijab:

"Do not treat people with contempt, nor walk insolently on the earth. Allah does not love the arrogant or the self-conceited boaster. Be modest in your bearing and subdue your voice, for the most unpleasant of voices is the braying of the ass." [The Holy Qur'an, Surah Luqman - 31:18-19]
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« Reply #15 on: Nov 07, 2008 06:01 PM »

Interesting article. I think that many times when a new sister converts there's a lot of pressure for her to wear hijab right away. It's such a talked about thing, and yes, I do feel it's important, there are also other things I think should be given more focus, like tawhid, for one, and instilling that in the heart. When I converted, I didn't have the pressure to cover right away, none of my friends brought it up, even though they are all covered, mashallah. Instead, they helped me to learn about the basics, the 5 pillars, the prayer, the pillars of iman, Arabic, and let me come to hijab when I was ready. I think that was better for me.
There is more to Islam than the hijab, and I think sometimes there's too much emphasis put on hijab.
Don't get me wrong, I wear hijab and I think it's important.

Also, I agree, it seems this sister who wrote the article has some misconceptions about Islam that others do. There is a hadith that describes hijab which is not mentioned in the article that I feel are very clear about hijab, where the Prophet, saws, tells I think it's Asmaa that when a woman reaches puberty she should cover except her face, hands (and possibly feet, not 100% sure about that...) and she seems to be unsure about the Quranic verse about it....I think it's sad when a sister removes her hijab. And I think it's wrong that the gay man she saw who she thought was brave seemed to be her inspiration to be brave too... Sad
I hope my post didn't offend anyone....
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« Reply #16 on: Nov 07, 2008 11:49 PM »

Exactly! I thought I was rereading one of my posts!
That scarf has caused so many problems... wait no... the scarf is great- its the Muslims that make it hard to bear for a new convert!

Interesting article. I think that many times when a new sister converts there's a lot of pressure for her to wear hijab right away. It's such a talked about thing, and yes, I do feel it's important, there are also other things I think should be given more focus, like tawhid, for one, and instilling that in the heart. When I converted, I didn't have the pressure to cover right away, none of my friends brought it up, even though they are all covered, mashallah. Instead, they helped me to learn about the basics, the 5 pillars, the prayer, the pillars of iman, Arabic, and let me come to hijab when I was ready. I think that was better for me.
There is more to Islam than the hijab, and I think sometimes there's too much emphasis put on hijab.

"Allah surely knows the warmth of every teardrop... " Jaihoon
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« Reply #17 on: Nov 09, 2008 12:13 AM »

As salaamu alaikum.  The anguish caused over wearing the scarf is not just found among new converts it's also found among the "forever" Muslimahs.  And the pressure doesn't come just from within the ummah but from outside of it too.  I don't know if it's that there's so much emphasis placed on hijab but rather the emphasis is usually on women and how they should dress while men go unconfronted on every (or just about every level.)  Yet we find that sisters that do cover aren't always respected for their decision either.

While it would be hard for me to imagine myself going anywhere on a regular basis with uncovered hair and whatnot and if anything am moving closer to wanting to start wearing niqab and just go full gusto I also have to remain grounded in reality; and that reality is that it's just not going to happen anytime soon - if ever and that makes me upset.

Fa'izah
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« Reply #18 on: Nov 09, 2008 11:21 AM »

Interesting article. I think that many times when a new sister converts there's a lot of pressure for her to wear hijab right away. It's such a talked about thing, and yes, I do feel it's important, there are also other things I think should be given more focus, like tawhid, for one, and instilling that in the heart. When I converted, I didn't have the pressure to cover right away, none of my friends brought it up, even though they are all covered, mashallah. Instead, they helped me to learn about the basics, the 5 pillars, the prayer, the pillars of iman, Arabic, and let me come to hijab when I was ready. I think that was better for me.
There is more to Islam than the hijab, and I think sometimes there's too much emphasis put on hijab.


I couldnt have said it better myself.
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« Reply #19 on: Apr 05, 2011 07:45 PM »

Salaam

I have to say this woman sounded really confused. I mean I know how she feels. I have been dealing with the same issue but I was born muslimiah. I am very proud of who I am and I love my reglion. Being born Muslim is the biggest blessing that Allah (SWT) and given me. I am currently wearing the hijab but I have been questioning it as well. Even through this time of confusion, I it never crossed my mind that Hijab wasn't required for Muslim woman. I just feel that at this time in my life, Hijab is just making me depressed and sad. I pray about it and ask Allah to give the knowledge that I am lacking about hijab. I honestly feel that if I was to take off the hijab, it would be just as hard as it was when I put it on 8 years ago. I feel guilty for feeling this way but I do, and I wish I didn't. I have been questioning my hijab since I put it on. I I feel that Allah has tested me so many time and I have passed those test because I am still wearing it. I am so confused, depressed and hurt because of this. I just wish it wasn't this hard. I can stay modesty and hide my beauty while still showing my hair. If I was to take it off, that doesn't mean I am going to walk around in tank tops and shorts. I will still be dressed modestly but without a scarf. Is it wrong for me to feel this way?
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« Reply #20 on: Apr 07, 2011 03:40 AM »

as salaamu alaykum,

Please check out this article I wrote for SuhaibWebb.com a while back called, "Taking off the Hijab": http://www.suhaibwebb.com/personaldvlpt/taking-off-the-hijab/
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« Reply #21 on: Apr 10, 2011 10:25 PM »

Great article with an answer so imbibed with much thoughtfulness and wisdom that it does not only covers the struggle with hijab (for both born and new Muslimas) but shades light on myriad struggles we go through on a daily basis in trying to become better Muslims albeit failing every once in a while.

I felt as if you were addressing me directly - not in relation to hijab - but my other struggles as a Muslima though proud to be born one, has yet to ascertain the level required of me as a Muslim, by Allah SWT.

Quote
Anas relates that, “We asked the Prophet ﷺ, ‘O Messenger of Allah ﷺ, shouldn’t we refrain from calling others to goodness if we don’t practice all good things ourselves, and shouldn’t we refrain from forbidding wrong things until we ourselves have abstained from all the bad?’ ‘No,’ he replied, ‘You should call others to goodness even if you don’t do all good, and you should forbid bad things even if you don’t abstain from all of them yourselves.’” (Al-Tabarani)

This Hadith will stay with me forever!!!

Quote
Remember that by wearing hijab you are not saying to others ‘I am Islam’, but simply that ‘I am a Muslim’, meaning – I am someone who is trying to follow this religion, who accepts it as truth, sees beauty in it and hopes to beautify myself with it.

Isn't this the point we always miss? You simplified it.

Quote
I remember a quote attributed to Yusuf Islam: “Islam is not a state of being but it is a process of becoming,” – becoming more, become better, striving to reach that state of perfect submission and connection with Allah Most High, and May He help all of us achieve that, ameen.

In a nutshell! Allahu Akbar.

The article reminded me of a sister I used to work with. She never covered her hair while I never exposed mine. Yet she never failed to perform her obligatory prayers (salats/salah) while I used to let them slide from time to time. To me, she was the better Muslima. While I never asked her even once, why she didn't cover her hair, she would always ask me whether I have prayed or not - around prayer times. She eventually covered hair of her own volition.

Many thanks for sharing it sis se7en.

The Almighty Allah says,

"When a servant thinks of Me, I am near.
When he invokes Me, I am with him.
If he reflects on Me in secret, I reply in secret,
And if he acknowledges Me in an assembly,
I acknowledge him in a far superior assembly."

- Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reptd by Abu Huraira
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« Reply #22 on: Apr 13, 2011 10:40 AM »

I must admit when I reverted it did take me a while to step outdoors in Hijab,the west still has misconseptions about it,as in Frances banning of it for example,but the truth of the matter,to me anyway,is that it is my decision coupled with the will of Allah (swt) who chose to protect women by creating Hijab & thus saving us from ourselves & temptation as a whole.
When I was a christian girl,I used to flirt with men,dress scantily & all that but since I reverted,whenever I put on my Hijab,I feel an (how to put it...) sort of inner contentment & peace.It's almost like that the Hijab is a two way shield.It stops non-marham men from seeing my beauty & likewise it serves to remind me that Allah (swt) has protected me by creating such a garment.

Sorry if that sounds pomous...I'm not too good at explaining things..
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« Reply #23 on: Jul 01, 2011 06:26 AM »

alsalamualakum im new on the sight and very young so i wanted to ask u a qustion so in elementary school i put a hijab on to be cool and get popular and i hated it so i took it off a year later and then learned i made a big misake so i put it on again and i know this is really bad to do and i scared so then in middle school i took it off bucause a ''friend'' talked me into it and know im relized the beauty of the hijab and i want to do it and im scared what other people will think like my friends because they are going to say '' ohhh so u put it on again! you look better with it off'' and i personly think i look good with or without either way but i like it on but the problem with it on is that i cant wear earings my neclaces dont show and braclets barly because they are covered by my hiijab and long sleeves . im going into 8th gradeand its summer so i dont no wat to do.and also i love fashion but i can barly show my accseories in hijab and its hard where i live to find cute long sleeve shirts.my mom says not to take it off but since i did put it back on or try to put it on when im older so i dont have a many problems with children in school . please please please help me i have cried about this topic and shy when someone asks ''dident u uesed to do hijab or somthing?'' please help and fast .thank you so much ! Smiley  purplehijabisis Huh?
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« Reply #24 on: Jul 01, 2011 08:14 AM »

walaikum salaam miss fashion Smiley

There's lots of cute ways you can do your hijab and use accessories and wear cute halal clothes!! Go on youtube and type in "hijab styles" or look on google for "hijabi fashion". You'll find lots of girls doing tutorials and showing you how to wear hijab with nice clothes!! You can tie your scarf to show your earrings sticking out, wear necklaces and bracelets on top of stuff. There will always be friends that say you look better without it and there will be friends that say you look better with it! So don't worry inshaAllah, your real friends like you for who you are, and Allah likes you to do something that is good! Wear hijab for Allah and don't worry about all your friends and things. And you can wear it with accessories on top or in different ways to show things. There are lots of ways to make fashionable clothes be halal like wearing long sleeve colored t's underneath or buying just sleeves for half sleeve stuff or wearing maxi dresses/skirts.

This is a nice blog that shows some different styles: http://caribmuslimah.wordpress.com/ or http://www.hijabstyle.co.uk/

and you can also check out this sisters hijab styles Smiley How to wear a Headscarf (Hijaab/ Hijab Tutorial): Pink Waterfall (The video's owner prevents external embedding)
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