// Some Important Questions asked by our beloved Youth
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Abdurahman
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« on: Sep 30, 2008 10:33 PM »


= Unanswered Questions ==


1.) I am a 16 years old male. Can I marry a non-Muslim? Why or why not?

2.) When you referred to deeds nobody can take from you (fasting), is that only fasting in Ramadan or at any time?

3.) Can you please clarify “friendship” between boys and girls? Especially in the workplace (or school), can you go on a lunch break with a group of both males and females?

4.) How can we protect ourselves from pornography?

5.) How important is having a third person CC’d in emails to keep away from getting into Haram?

6.) What about sins which involve other people? If you have wronged someone, how do you repent for that if you can and if you cannot contact them?

7.)  In regards to faith and belief, to what extent are we as Muslims required to believe? If we find a story or an aspect that we find hard to digest, is this a sin? For example, if I find it difficult to comprehend that Jinns live amongst us, is this a grave sin? Is 100% faith required in all aspects and rulings?

8.) What should I do if I didn’t fast some days last Ramadan due to sickness and didn’t make up for them util this Ramadan came? I know that I still have to make up those days, but still know that I have to give some money. Can you tell me how much I should pay for each missed day? Can I pay all of it in a lump sum in advance?

9.)  If blasphemy is to be penalized strongly, then what about the example of the Prophet (SAW) inquiring about the health of the woman who used to throw trash at him when she missed throwing trash one day because she was sick?

10.)  How does a pilot pray or fast regularly, considering timezones, rest required, and passenger safety?

11.)  Does not wearing a hijab to school make you a bad Muslim female, even if you are still dressing modestly?

12.)  Can you recommend ways to sustain the spiritual energy and good habits gained during Ramadan?

13.)  If you’ve sinned and repented, should you keep making istighfar for that sin or assume that Allah has accepted your repentance and move on?

14.)  Why are Muslim men allowed to marry “People of the Book” (Christians, Jews) but Muslim women aren’t?

15.)  How bad is marijuana in Islam? Is it on the same level of alcohol? I know that when you drink, for forty days and nights of worship, Allah will not accept your prayers. Is this the same with marijuana? Marijuana is not mentioned in the Qur’an.

16.)  What is your advice on dealing with the opposite gender? Is it wrong to like a girl or pursue her during your late teens for the sake of marriage?

17.)  I have had a lot of schoolwork lately and have spent most of Ramadan studying for exams. My parents have repeatedly told me to take advantage of this special month, but I don’t know how to balance my studies and ibadat (religion). What would you recommend?

18.)  To what extent can spouses share their feelings of intimicay during Ramadan?

19.)  I’ve been asking for forgiveness from Allah (SWT) in every prayer. However, I used to do the same sin after I asked for His forgiveness. Alhamdulillah, I don’t do those bad things anymore, but I feel like I haven’t been forgiven yet.

20.)  How do I know that Allah really forgives me?

21.)  When we have Laylatu al-Qadr in the US, it would be daytime overseas, and vice versa. Does this mean that when it is daytime here, it is also Laylatu al-Qadr?

22.)  I am talking to a sister about marriage and I feel that we may be pushing the limits in what and how we talk. We are fairly certain that we want to get married and consider doing it in the last ten nights. Can you give some basic guidelines for how to talk to a sister about marriage? If we fear doing haram and are fairly sure we want to get married (after three months), should we just get married now?

23.)  Is plucking eyebrows allowed in Islam?

24.)  What is the best way to deal with a sibling that doesn’t want to pray?

25.)  Does the nafl fasting on Monday and Thursday have the same reward directly from Allah (SWT)?

26.)  Women usually miss several fasts each year due to menstruation. My mom was not able to make these up the last several years. She does not know how many she missed. What advice should I give her? To make all of them up or to feed people? What’s better?

27.)  If you have tried to help a friend for over three years to bring them back to the deen because they had gone astray, but they still haven’t improved, what should you do?

28.)  Some people in our culture have said it is OK to do “normal” things after iftar, such as movies, music, and so on.
What is the proper answer for such a comment?

29.)  How does qiyam al-layl apply at different timezones? If I live in the US and it is day, it is night in India, therefore are there any prayers similar to taraweeh during the day over here, while it is night elsewhere?

30.)  In Somalian culture, they say it is haram to wear pants. Does it say that in the Qur’an?

31.)  Is there any hadith or Qur’anic verse that says whether it is acceptable to pray with nail polish?

32.)  How important is it for women to come to pray taraweeh and qiyam?

33.)  If one has a gay relative who is not Muslim, are we supposed to disassociate ourselves from them completely? Also, are we supposed to disassociate ourselves from non-Muslim relatives who live with their boyfriend or girlfried unmarried?
 
34.)  What is the wisdom behind not paying zakat on precious stones like diamonds?

35.)  Can we keep paying zakat over the whole year instead of in one lump sum?

36.) My friend couldn’t fast because she is working long hours from early morning until 7pm, and she only prayed 16 days. She is giving food for iftar. Is this accepted from Allah?

Be merciful to those on earth, and the One in the Heavens will be merciful to you.
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« Reply #1 on: Sep 30, 2008 10:42 PM »

As salaamu alaykum
I am glad they are asking...shows they care!

"Allah surely knows the warmth of every teardrop... " Jaihoon
Abdurahman
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« Reply #2 on: Oct 01, 2008 08:31 PM »

Asalamualaikum wrt wb,

1.)  I am a 16 years old male. Can I marry a non-Muslim? Why or why not?


My young brother in Islam, you have done well for asking about your most valuable possession, your deen, and I give you good news of a vast Paradise prepared for the believers.


In general, it is haram for a Muslim to marry a kaffir. 

Allah says:

002.221 Do not marry unbelieving women, until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allure you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allure you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But God beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of Bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may receive admonition.



And Allah says about the Muslim believing women:

060.010 O ye who believe! When there come to you believing women refugees, examine (and test) them: God knows best as to their Faith: if ye ascertain that they are Believers, then send them not back to the Unbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the Unbelievers, nor are the (Unbelievers) lawful (husbands) for them.


The reason for this is that a disbelieving spouse calls to the hell-fire, as Allah states, and this may affect your religious committment.

In certain circumstances, a Muslim man is allowed to marry a chaste believing Katabi woman.  However, this is not recommended.  The Prophet, may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said in an authentic narration: 

"Marry the woman of Deen, may your hands be rubbed with dust (may you be successful)." 


Furthermore, Ibn Abbas was of the opinion that it is haram (forbidden) to marry a Kitabi woman outside of the Lands of Islam (Fiqh as Sunnah, vol. 2, Pg.70).  This would mean that this type of marriage is haraam in the US/Europe.  The practical application of my teacher, Dr. Ahmed Kobeisy, is that he refuses to perform such marriages except when it is almost certain that the woman will convert to Islam.

I will try to explain the Hikmah for this concession/forbiddance, as I learned from the scholars, in response to a later question.


For you my young beloved brother in Islam, I encourage you to be careful from falling into haram sexual relations with the opposite sex.  The shaitan is very eager to tempt you with looking at the opposite sex, but lower your gaze, and keep in mind the words of the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him:

"Whoever guarantees for me what is between his jaws (ie. his tongue) and between his two legs (ie. his private parts), I guarantee for him the Paradise."

This means keeping from using the tongue and the private parts in that which is forbidden.

Meanwhile, ask your parents to keep an eye out for a noble and religious believing sister for you, so that she will be the comfort of your eyes.  Make dua, and Allah will answer.


May Allah make you firm in the Deen and keep you safe from the temptations and doubtful matters.  Ameen.



And Allah knows best.

Be merciful to those on earth, and the One in the Heavens will be merciful to you.
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« Reply #3 on: Oct 03, 2008 10:19 PM »



2.) When you referred to deeds nobody can take from you (fasting), is that only fasting in Ramadan or at any time?


Asalamualaikum wrt wb,

Dear beloved young brother or sister,

You have done well by asking this question, and made a place for yourself in Jannah. 


Fasting is one of the most noble acts of a believer.  It teaches a person to have taqwa (fear/awareness) of Allah.  It teaches discipline of the nafs, and controling its desires.  Furthermore, fasting is a shield, it protects a person from being overcome by their passions, and the Prophet, may peace and blessings be upon him, recommended it for a young man or woman who feels the desire to get married but may not be able to do so.


Some deeds may be canceled out due to shirk (like worship), showing off (like prayer), or hurting the feelings of others (like charity).  However, the beauty of fasting is that no one knows whether you are truly fasting or not except Allah.  If you wanted, you could sneak in the kitchen during the day and Ramadan, and drink a glass of water, and no one would know except Allah.

For this reason, if a person truly fasts, seeking the pleasure of Allah, they will be especially rewarded by Allah Himself, since it is act that can only be done by a sincere person.

This special reward from Allah applies to fasting at anytime, during Ramadan and outside of it, due to the generality of the words of Allah in the Hadith Qudsi:

"All of the actions of the Child of Adam are for himself, except Saum (fasting), for indeed it is for Me, and I Reward for it."


Speaking of fasting, this month, Shawwal, is a great time to earn extra reward by fasting.  The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said in a hadith narrated by Muslim: 

"Whoever fasts Ramadan, then follows it up with 6 days from Shawwal, it will be as if he fasted forever (ie. for the whole year.)"


Fasting the six days of Shawwal is a good way to keep your good deeds going, so they don't stop after Ramadan.


May Allah bless you, our noble youth, and keep us constant in doing noble acts throughout the year!  Ameen.


And please keep me in your duas.

And Allah knows best.

Be merciful to those on earth, and the One in the Heavens will be merciful to you.
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« Reply #4 on: Oct 06, 2008 05:00 AM »

3.) Can you please clarify “friendship” between boys and girls? Especially in the workplace (or school), can you go on a lunch break with a group of both males and females?

Asalamualaikum wrt wb,

Dear beloved young brother or sister,

All praise be to Allaah. 

You have done well, and may Allah bless you. 

The scholars say:

The meeting together, mixing, and intermingling of girls and boys in one place, the crowding of them together, and the revealing and exposure of women to men are prohibited by the Law of Islam (Shari'ah). These acts are prohibited because they are among the causes for fitnah (temptation or trial which implies evil consequences), the arousing of desires, and the committing of indecency and wrongdoing.

Among the many proofs of prohibition of the meeting and mixing of men and women in the Qur’aan and Sunnah are:



The Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) enforced separation of men and women even at Allaah’s most revered and preferred place, the mosque. This was accomplished via the separation of the women’s rows from the men’s; men were asked to stay in the mosque after completion of the obligatory prayer so that women will have enough time to leave the mosque; and, a special door was assigned to women. Evidence of the foregoing are:

Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) said that after Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) said "as-Salamu ‘Alaykum wa Rahmatullah’ twice announcing the end of prayer, women would stand up and leave. He would stay for a while before leaving. Ibn Shihab said that he thought that the staying of the Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) was in order for the women to be able to leave before the men who wanted to depart." Narrated by al-Bukhari under No. 793.

Abu Dawood under No. 876 narrates the same hadith in Kitab al-Salaat under the title "Insiraaf an-Nisaa’ Qabl al-Rijaal min al-Salaah" (Departure of Women before Men after the Prayer). Ibn ‘Umar said that Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) said: "We should leave this door (of the mosque) for women." Naafi’ said: "Ibn ‘Umar never again entered through that door until he died." Narrated by Abu Dawood under No. 484 in "Kitab as-Salah" under the Chapter entitled: "at-Tashdid fi Thalik".

Abu Hurayrah said that the Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) said: ""The best of the men’s rows is the first and the worst is the last, and the best of the women’s rows is the last and the worst in the first." Narrated by Muslim under No. 664.

This is the greatest evidence that the Law of Islam (Shari'ah) forbids meeting and mixing of men and women. The farther the men are from the women’s rows, the better, and vice versa.

If these procedures and precautions were prescribed and adhered to in a mosque, which is a pure place of worship where people are as far away as they ever are from the arousal of desire and temptation, then no doubt the same procedures need to be followed even more rigorously at other places.

Abu Usayd al-Ansari narrated that he heard Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) say to the women on his way out of the mosque when he saw men and women mixing together on their way home:

‘Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle the road.’

Thereafter, women would walk so close to the wall that their dresses would get caught on it. Narrated by Abu Dawood.

_________


My young brother, the Shaitan is very tricky.  He will not convince you to fall into fornication in one step.  First he will convince you to have an 'innocent' chat with a girl on the phone, then meet with her for some coffee at Dunkin Donuts, then convince you to go out for dinner together, then a movie, and then Shaitan will cause you to slip into fornication. 

This is the meaning of the footsteps of the Shaitan, in Allah's Words:

"Do not follow the footsteps of the Shaitan."

Allah Most Merciful didn't say, "Don't follow the Shaitan," He said don't even follow his footsteps!


In summary, my noble young brother or sister, Islam forbids having sex before marriage, since it will lead to great harm to your body, spirit, religion, and afterlife, and it also prevents the footsteps that lead to haram, such as having a girlfriend or a boyfriend, going on dates, and mixing with the opposite sex.

May Allah keep you and all our youth safe from the temptations of Satan and give you beneficial knowledge Smiley


And Allah knows best.

Be merciful to those on earth, and the One in the Heavens will be merciful to you.
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« Reply #5 on: Nov 05, 2008 07:34 PM »

4.) How can we protect ourselves from pornography?



Asalamualaikum wrt wb,

All praise be to Allah.


Dear respected youth, you have done well by asking this important question.  I ask Allah to protect you and me and all the believers from this dangerous Fitnah.  Indeed, Allah is the One Whom we solely reply upon to protect us.  The scholars say:

First, it is important to recognize that pornography is certainly haram, evil, and harmful, physically, emotionally, and socially.  This is in addition to the negative effects it has in the spiritual realm – which is not mentioned by most researchers – of causing the person to neglect prayers; and weakness of resolve in resisting the means of immorality and provocation. In addition to that there is the sense of psychological defeat which leads some people to forsake righteous friends, because they feel that they do not deserve to be in their company, in addition to it being one of the means of taking lightly immoral actions such as zina and homosexuality. 

 

With regard to shar’i advice, we advise the following:

1 – Lower your gaze and avoid looking at haraam things. That includes not looking at women on the TV, for the pictures of women that are shown on the TV are one of the greatest causes of fitnah (temptation) and provocation of desire. Forbidden looks are one of the arrows of the Shaytaan.  Stay away from places of tabarruj (nakedness) such as malls, hang out spots, beaches, or anywhere where you find yourself tempted to look at women.

2 – Avoiding being alone. The wolf only eats the sheep that strays away from the flock, and the Shaytaan gains control over the man who is on his own, but he is further away from two and even further away from three.

3 – Fast a great deal. This is the advice of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to young men who are unable to get married. Fasting is a way of disciplining oneself, lowering the gaze and guarding one's chastity.

4 – Making a lot of du’aa’, praying for forgiveness and glorifying Allaah. Whoever keeps himself busy with this, the Shaytaan will have no way to tempt him and lead him astray.

5 – Praying sincerely that Allaah will keep you away from haraam things and whatever leads to them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And your Lord said: Invoke Me [i.e. believe in My Oneness (Islamic Monotheism) and ask Me for anything] I will respond to your (invocation)”

[Ghaafir 40:60]

6 – Keeping company with righteous people. A righteous friend will only show you the way to good. ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “It is enough honour for my brothers that I do not disobey Allaah among them.”



If you find yourself falling victim to this sin, than immediately repent, and do a good deed, and give in charity.  Good will wipe out evil.  Some people have been cured from this ailment but forcing themselves to give in charity everytime they commit the sin.  They found that their love of their wealth made them give up this evil habit.

Allah says: "Good deeds take away the evil ones."


Our Beloved youth, hold strong to your faith, and you will be victorious.  May Allah bless you and keep you safe from all temptations, and put the love of obedience to Allah and His Messenger, peace be upon him, in your hearts.  Ameen.



And Allah knows best.

Be merciful to those on earth, and the One in the Heavens will be merciful to you.
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