3.) Can you please clarify “friendship” between boys and girls? Especially in the workplace (or school), can you go on a lunch break with a group of both males and females?
Asalamualaikum wrt wb,
Dear beloved young brother or sister,
All praise be to Allaah.
You have done well, and may Allah bless you.
The scholars say:
The meeting together, mixing, and intermingling of girls and boys in one place, the crowding of them together, and the revealing and exposure of women to men are prohibited by the Law of Islam (Shari'ah). These acts are prohibited because they are among the causes for fitnah (temptation or trial which implies evil consequences), the arousing of desires, and the committing of indecency and wrongdoing.
Among the many proofs of prohibition of the meeting and mixing of men and women in the Qur’aan and Sunnah are:
The Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) enforced separation of men and women even at Allaah’s most revered and preferred place, the mosque. This was accomplished via the separation of the women’s rows from the men’s; men were asked to stay in the mosque after completion of the obligatory prayer so that women will have enough time to leave the mosque; and, a special door was assigned to women. Evidence of the foregoing are:
Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) said that after Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) said "as-Salamu ‘Alaykum wa Rahmatullah’ twice announcing the end of prayer, women would stand up and leave. He would stay for a while before leaving. Ibn Shihab said that he thought that the staying of the Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) was in order for the women to be able to leave before the men who wanted to depart." Narrated by al-Bukhari under No. 793.
Abu Dawood under No. 876 narrates the same hadith in Kitab al-Salaat under the title "Insiraaf an-Nisaa’ Qabl al-Rijaal min al-Salaah" (Departure of Women before Men after the Prayer). Ibn ‘Umar said that Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) said: "We should leave this door (of the mosque) for women." Naafi’ said: "Ibn ‘Umar never again entered through that door until he died." Narrated by Abu Dawood under No. 484 in "Kitab as-Salah" under the Chapter entitled: "at-Tashdid fi Thalik".
Abu Hurayrah said that the Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) said: ""The best of the men’s rows is the first and the worst is the last, and the best of the women’s rows is the last and the worst in the first." Narrated by Muslim under No. 664.
This is the greatest evidence that the Law of Islam (Shari'ah) forbids meeting and mixing of men and women. The farther the men are from the women’s rows, the better, and vice versa.
If these procedures and precautions were prescribed and adhered to in a mosque, which is a pure place of worship where people are as far away as they ever are from the arousal of desire and temptation, then no doubt the same procedures need to be followed even more rigorously at other places.
Abu Usayd al-Ansari narrated that he heard Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) say to the women on his way out of the mosque when he saw men and women mixing together on their way home:‘Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle the road.’
Thereafter, women would walk so close to the wall that their dresses would get caught on it. Narrated by Abu Dawood.
My young brother, the Shaitan is very tricky. He will not convince you to fall into fornication in one step. First he will convince you to have an 'innocent' chat with a girl on the phone, then meet with her for some coffee at Dunkin Donuts, then convince you to go out for dinner together, then a movie, and then Shaitan will cause you to slip into fornication.
This is the meaning of the footsteps of the Shaitan, in Allah's Words:"Do not follow the footsteps of the Shaitan."
Allah Most Merciful didn't say, "Don't follow the Shaitan," He said don't even follow his footsteps!
In summary, my noble young brother or sister, Islam forbids having sex before marriage, since it will lead to great harm to your body, spirit, religion, and afterlife, and it also prevents the footsteps that lead to haram, such as having a girlfriend or a boyfriend, going on dates, and mixing with the opposite sex.
May Allah keep you and all our youth safe from the temptations of Satan and give you beneficial knowledge
And Allah knows best.