None of us is saying the Sr should get divorced. She has been counselled to
- make dua
- to do istikhara,
- to ask a male family member to intervene on her behalf
- to put off having a baby, due to mainly her own health to be honest, but also because this is not a situation in which one should bring a child
- lastly she has been counselled that divorce is allowed, it is not haram, and that every person is due to live a life free of opression
Mind you I can't talk, being in the middle of a divorce of my own instigation and it was truly my own (as I never told anyone my situation), so I was completely alone in my torment, my own mother did not know, nor did any of my friends, everyone thoguht I was so happy because that is the face I presented to the world for as long as was bearable to me, however to you perhaps the scent of Jannah is denied me.
Alhumdulillah, my creator is most merciful and I have complete faith in Allahs beneficience, such that based solely on the compassion and justice of the one who is Just I do believe Jannah is not denied me, nor its scent witheld from me, not for my own actions but because my Lord is most Merciful, and if there were ever any justice, compasssaion, mercy and love anywhere I have mine with Allah (swt).
No woman would ever run into a divorce, most of us put up with far more than we should, this sister has no one to support in the advent of a divorce, this sr is being physically crippled by her relationship with her husband, how long should patience last?
Mine ran out after 11 years and two children, I was reduced to raising my hands to Allah and asking for death, and protection for my orphaned children. Personally I would never ask another to endure what I would not want to endure for myself.
The most important thing to remember in all this, is that the duaa of oppressed are answered very swiftly, I actually expected the exact response to my plight to be that of cheese posts; have patience, its your fault, you will be denied jannah, fear Allah etc etc etc like its some sort of great wrong to want to live a basic life, forget one filled with love and laughter, just plain living a life where one is not afraid to go home, or speak, where one doesn't know how to behave for fear of the completely irrational repercussions. Alhumdulillah, Allah is however the Merciful, I am so glad that I did turn to Allah as the only point of solace, help has come from the most unexpected of places, and I am surrounded by compassion, and mercy, love and understanding.
I did have the one uncle who trivialised it all by saying I was blowing it out of proprotion, I should do as my husband says, and if it were that bad I would not have endured it for 11years, no doubt this same uncle would have told me I was being ungrateful and not giving my marriage a chance if I had told them a few days into my marriage. One cannot please everyone all the time.
Men may be a degree higher than women, but stop for a second and consider exactly why that is.