The theory of parenthood and the reality are so far apart its actually quite funny.
I have friends expecting their first child and the things they come out with about their future life as parents is actually rather hilarious. I of course keep my mouth tightly shut as I know they will learn the truth and laugh at themselves once they have a baby.
Having said that, I can completely appreciate the pain and sorrow you must be going through, the desire for a child is utterly irrational, and the pain caused by being unable to realise that desire immediately can eat you up. It turns into an obsession (can you tell I had problems conceiving?).
Do you have friends with utterly adorable children? If so borrow them and do family type things with them, I find toddlers around three are at their cutest and men can interact with them and turn to mush at the first go.
Ease him into the idea of fatherhood without mentioning it too much to him verbally, don't fight about it, otherwise it becomes a ego thing, ie she argued about it so I wont do it, me man me in control me bigger and better ug ug ug.....
Joking aside, also do istikhara, you'll be surprised, inshallah whenever there's a big decision to take in life and there is ambiguity as to what the correct move is, then turn to Allah. You will never turn from him without you heart lightened and your sorrow eased inshallah.
Love & Duas