So this is not just about communication about Hajj. There is more to it.
That he does not give you nafaqah would be wrong, if he had not allowed you to draw money from his account. That he complains about your expenditure is, of course, wrong, unless you are the extravagant type.
There could be a lot of factors, and if you examine yourself and his behaviour, maybe you can find out what the problem/s are.
One posssibility is that maybe something is wrong with your marriage. He may br trying to distance himself from you. Explore if you have wronged him or put him off. And if you find something, remove that. Have you been ignoring him because of your four kids.
There is a difference in a man's approach and a woman's. Sometimes that is the problem. Sometimes there are misunderstandings, and sometimes the approach to life and to partners is different.
Is he fair-minded in his dealings with others? If so, you should ask him to sit down and explain how does he expect the household to be run. How much money do you need for running it, and if expenses rise due to price increase, or children growing up, he should provide for that eventuality.
About your clothes, ask him what he wants, and tell him what you want. But as I said earlier, do examine yourself first.
There are two duas. I give you links below: Both three times after every fard Salah, and as many times during the day as you can. In addition, number two for mutual love: seven times before you sleep.
1. dua for monetary problems
2. dua for mutual love