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Author Topic: Hajjah wanna-be  (Read 1921 times)
Barr
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« on: Nov 14, 2008 05:07 PM »


Assalamu'alaikum,

InshaAllah, it'll be 10 more days till my plane is scheduled to land in Jeddah.

First and foremost, I'd like to seek forgiveness should there be anything that I've said or done, that may have hurt or offended you. Please accept it and may ALlah compensate you with something better. Or if I owe you anything, please IM me.

Secondly, it would be my first hajj, and I'd like to gather as many good tips and nasihah, inshaAllah.

We would be leaving our daughter with my in-laws and I pray and hope that Allah would be her companion and make easy for her when we are gone. Please make du'a for her too.

I have some questions regarding my departure and stay.

1) I was advised that its better not to call my daughter (3 years old) as she does not know the concept of time and might get more upset. What do you think?

2)  There's a schedule that someone suggested which interests me. Basically its to keep up with my North American time, so that I'd spend maghrib till fajr at the haram, go back to teh hotel for b/f and sleep and go for dhuhr and asr @ haram, come back for rest and dinner then, start back the cycle. What was your schedule like when you were at the Haram? Any tips?

3) There was a suggestion that me and my husband do our ibadah seperately (eg. tawaf, i'tikaf etc) so that both of us can have more focus. I'm inclined to do that except how safe is it for me to do tawaf alone? I've heard of pushing and shoving, and inshaALlah, I think I'm mentally prepared for that. But what about "rude touches"?
Is it common? Any precautions?

4) Especially for sisters, which area is the best area for you to do tawaf and i'tikaf? How long did it take you to do tawaf at the top floor? And can you still see the kaabah from that far as well as knowing where the hajaral aswad and rukn yamani would be?

5) Any other tips?

Jazakumullahu khairan
Oh yes, Please make du'a for a hajj mabrur for me and husband Smiley Shukran
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se7en
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« Reply #1 on: Nov 14, 2008 08:11 PM »

as salaamu alaykum,

Masha'Allah, May Allah bless you and your husband with a hajj mabroor!  What awesome news.  I haven't been for hajj so I can't give you much advice, but from my experience in umrah it was nice to have my husband in front of me during tawaf, otherwise you feel like you are being pushed around from every direction.  This way, he was the one kind of make his way through the crowd (which takes some effort), while I was getting the pushes from behind so it lessened things for both of us, and sometimes we switched.  I'm not sure though how feasible it is to stay together during hajj.

Hope others share some useful tips and advice Smiley

love,

7 Smiley
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sofia
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« Reply #2 on: Nov 15, 2008 02:58 AM »

As-salaamu alaykum, Sr. Barr!
May Allah make it easy for you and your family and accept your Hajj. Mabrook!

I went before marriage (and seriously feel it needs to made up with another Hajj post-marriage...). Smiley
Having a husband would've helped, but doing without was fine, alhamdulillah (my father stayed on the lower level somehow). My mother and I made tawaaf on the top level and looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooved it. I can't recommend it enough. The Yemeni corner and everything is clearly demarcated on every level. You'll be surprised at how easy some things have become, and how much you'll "feel" Hajj as soon as you lay your eyes on the Haram, no matter what level. Insha'Allah.

Which brings me to my all time favorite tips given to me (all of which I regret not following):

-Don't stare at too many pics of the Haram and/or Ka'abah. It takes away from seeing the real thing.  Shocked
-Go to Makkah before Hajj to have plenty of time for Umrah, and have more of the Haram to yourself. We went to Medinah after Hajj. Yes, it'll still be crowded, but not as crowded as it will be at peak time.
-Wear slip-free socks if you can (so you don't slip on the extra slippery marble floors)
-Keep a backpack for your shoes with you (as well as a water bottle for Zam Zam and some power bars). Can also be used as a shield. Smiley
-Stay at the Haram for as long as you can. I remember wishing I was there more. We were spoiled with a very close by hotel (not 4-star at all, trust me, but alhamdulillah). We usually slept a few hours after Fajr, a few hours after Dhuhr(actually my father kept this schedule everday, but my mother and I prayed Dhuhr at the hotel more often than not), and then back to stay at the Haram from Asr-'Ishaa. Usually, we stayed at the Haram until Fajr, sometimes slept in the hotel, and then back for Tahajjud.
-Call your family back home often. We got so enthralled that we waited few days to call home, and my siblings literally thought we were dead. They were um...planning our funeral or something if I recall correctly.  Cheesy  Don't do that to your family.
-Don't worry about food too much. If you eat the wrong thing (like wet, soupy things), you may end up with problems you don't need. Smiley  We were good with fruit, power-bars, dates and Zam Zam. I was surprised at how little we were hungry, but occasionally, we did have a roasted chicken. I wish I was still eating that many fruits!

Hajj Mabroor, insha'Allah,
Sofia
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jannah
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« Reply #3 on: Nov 16, 2008 04:16 AM »

salam,

how exciting ma'shallah!!

about your daughter... i don't know i think it'd be worse not to tell her anything and then just leave her so long somewhere without being in contact. at first she might cry and be upset especially when you leave or hang up but she would feel the reassurance of your voice every so often and to know that it was only a few days until you come back. they might not have an exact sense of days/hours but they usually know what's going on. even my little niece who was 1 would understand when it was the day of jumah and about how it would be coming up soon. maybe some parents could throw in their experiences.

that schedule is really good, but somehow in reality it's just so crazy there. there's all kinds of things going on and especially in hajj you're always on the move. so just try your best inshaAllah to spend as much time as you can at the haram.

i would recommend not doing stuff without your husband. i was with my dad or an auntie for almost every tawaf or sai'y and that i was thankful of because people will not trample all over you and you can work as a team. even though you're with them or with some millions of people believe me you just forget about everything else. you can arrange some time alone like for ibadah if you say 'im going to go to the sisters section and i'll meet you back in an hour' or something like that.

i'tikaf try ur best to squeeze in the front sections of the women which are on the first floor. it's a shaded area and also has a view of the kabah. tawaf i'd recommend kaba floor. second floor is just soooooooo long.  sai'y definitely try second or third floors. i think there might be more now? top most floor is soo extremely hot in the day but amazingly magical at night.

agree with sophia on keeping the eating down. if you're extremely careful about what you eat you can minimize sickness inshaAllah.

ahhh there's so much more to say...but every year is different and everyone's experience is different. we pray the best for you and ask for your duas. Hajj Mabroor Wink  kaba
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BrKhalid
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« Reply #4 on: Nov 18, 2008 10:59 AM »

Asalaamu Alaikum   bro


MashaAllah it’s always wonderful finding out someone’s going to Hajj, even more so when its someone from the Board as well.


Okay my first suggestion would be try and talk to someone who went last year since, whether we like it or not, the holy places are changing rapidly so one suggestion this year may not be the greatest the next.


That being said, here are a few suggestions:


1. Best time to do Tawaf in my opinion during Hajj season is around 2am and about 3 hours before Fajr. It also gives you time to rest a little before doing Tahajjud and, of course, the crowds are a bit less.


Given the above, rest is probably best after Fajr, Zuhr and maybe Asr depending on circumstances. A lot of how long you can stay in the Masjid (and maintain a reasonable level of concentration) depends on how far your hotel is. If it’s far, you may find yourself staying all day since it takes too much time to go back and forth, whist if it’s nearer you may be able to squeeze in some breaks for rest.


Do what works for you!!


2. Would recommend Tawaf with your husband and doing it on the ground floor. It may look intimidating at first but once you get in with the crowd having your husband there with you will be a big help. As with all rites associated with Hajj, make dua for Allah to make things easy for you.


Obviously if you do separate in the Masjid make sure you both know where to meet up after.


3.   Pack a nice little Qur’an which you can read whenever, wherever


4.   Keep a book for all the du’aa you want to make at Arafat and to make a note of all the people who’ve asked you to make du’a for them


5.   Have patience, have more patience and then have even more patience.


I can’t help but think the following ayah is so applicable to Hajj:


“O ye who believe! Persevere in patience and constancy; vie in such perseverance; strengthen each other; and fear God; that ye may prosper. [3:200]


InshaAllah, I hope the above is some help and inshaAllah you’ll be back in a few weeks time telling us how you turned from a Hajj wanna-be to a Hajjiah been-there-and-done-that.  bro


May Allah accept both you intentions and actions and grant you both a Hajj Mabrur and please make du'a for all of us.
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« Reply #5 on: Nov 18, 2008 01:31 PM »

salam

MashaAllah, is it that time already?  Am happy for you sis Barr. May Allah make it easy for you guys and accept it from you, ameen.

I always tried to do tawaaf on the ground, but with the Hajj crowd increasing, I decided on the first floor, and though it looks longer (and is, mathematically speaking), the fact that the crowd is less, makes it easier to do the tawaaf and concentrate.  Having your husband will most definitely help, do as much as you can as a pair inshaAllah.  I was with my mom or my sister most of the time, and it helps having someone to steady you and help you along.  (I remember once after Sa'ee, I had holes as big as houses in my socks! People had trampled my feet, and I probably would have fallen had I not had someone to hold onto). oh, definitely try the upper levels for Saee, it is so much better.

You probably wont be staying in Makkah, right?  So work out your schedule so you get to spend as much time in the Haram as possible.  And remember that the toilet/wudhu facilities still leave much to be desired, unfortunately.  Not because the Saudis dont put in effort (they do, mashaAllah), but because we Muslims just dont care...

Phone your daughter.  I dont think *you* would be able to make it for weeks without contact with her.

How is your health?  I remember you posting about a particular q, and I pray inshaAllah, Allah swt will make it easy for you.  Keep hydrated, and for heavens sake dont eat anything not cooked by your agent on the days of Hajj!  I saw women being very ill in Mina and on Arafat from eating from unkown sources.

Ok, one more thing.  Please please dont let anyone rush you, for example, when you see the Ka'ba for the first time.  remember all the places and times when duaa is answered and take advantage of them!  You dont know if you will be returning ever!

Make duaa for your madina family too?
Salam, fi amanAllah
S.
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tq
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« Reply #6 on: Nov 18, 2008 02:48 PM »

Assalamo elikuim
Mashallah Sr.Barr - may your haj be wonderful and may Allah swt accept it and all your duas, Ameen.

I went on haj two years ago. At that time my daughter was 1 1/2 years old and my other kids (12 and 9). My parents came to our house to stay and take care of kids since the school was still open. In a way it was good becuase my kids specially my duaghter was in a fimiliar environment plus  her brothers were there too. I called almost every other day and talked to my other kids and parents but I think once or twice with my daughter( it depends on how your daughter reacts when she hears your voice and you are not there) For mine my mom told me she was confused (since she was only 1 at that time but yours is little older she might like it). To test it you can try going out and calling your daughter and ask your husband or may be your parents in law to see how she reacts. If she cries then dont call , I mean call your parents in law and ask about her etc. but dont talk to her if it upsets you.
I would recommend doing saee with your husband. Its very crowded and lot of pushing. Also if your hotel is not far from Kaba, then its pretty safe to go by yourself. I did lot of tawafs (for kids, sibling etc) and most of the time I went by my self before tahajud time -some times on the main floor depending how crowded it was and sometimes on  second floor (I agree with Sr.Shahida that doing it on second floor might be better since less crowded and you can focus on your duas more). Me and my husband did the umrahs together but  rest of the ibadah was mostly separate and always had a meeting place for meals. And we also used to sleep from fajr till dhur and used to stay at kaba till isha and then go for dinner and sleep little till tahajud.
Also pack spare clothes in your hand bag just in case (I got my suitcase back 3 weeks after coming back from haj Smiley so the extra suit really wasnt that extra Smiley)
Try not to focus on negative things while there, I know its hard not to get angry when your room which was confirmed not given to you and you have to spend night in the parking lot Smiley but seriously as long you are in Makkah and Madina, nothing else matter.Small mishap will happen so be prepared for them .
Please pray for your madina board family also Smiley and when you come back Inshallah, tell  us how it was.

Wasalam
tq
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Barr
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« Reply #7 on: Nov 18, 2008 06:56 PM »

Assalamu'alaikum

Jazakumullahu khairan for all the du'as, replies and tips. InshaAllah, I will bear all of that in mind, and inshaALlah, will see what fits me best, and what will be best for me. Please, do keep the tips up. I'd love to hear more.

Alhamdulillah, my daughter didnt cry when I left her for a doctor's appointment yesterday. And today, she went up the school bus with her cousin and aunt to go to her cousin's play school coz the school invites younger "siblings" over every 3rd Tuesdays, and alhamdulillah, she didn't cry, though I think I detected a nervous smile as she looked through the window at me.

We have told her abt the hajj since summer and I've made a calender and we draw pictures of what we did/ going to do so that she has some perception of time. I told her this morning that it'll be 5 more days before I fly. And she said. "Wow, that's so many days!" hmmm

I really hope that Allah soothes her and be her Companion, when we are away. Thing is, she's so attached to me, she told me that I could only have 1 child, and no other children. Hmmm, strategies for the big news would be handy. Smiley

Frankly, I don't know if Allah will test me with missing her. I thought about how Rasulullah said that for a woman, her hajj would be jihad. And detaching oneself from one's children after having them lived in one's womb, and going though the pain of childbirth and being there and thinking of them, even when they are not thinking of you. Its like the whole world revolves around them.

And now, I'll be leaving her and travelling all alone, no child - just me and Allah. Grasping the knowledge with yaqeen (certainty) that Allah will take care of her is struggle itself.

A sheikh told me of a tabi'n (or one of the salihoon, I can't remember), and he said,
"My 1st hajj, I saw the khalq (creation), my 2nd hajj, I saw my nafs, in my 3rd hajj, I saw the house of Allah, then, I 'saw' the Lord of the house"

Trying to look beyond the khalq to see the hand of Al-Khaliq (The Creator) in this journey, is a struggle. And I fear of returning home, being the same person as I am.

Jazakumullahukhairan for everything,
Wassalamu'alaikum

P.S. I've always thot that fast food restaurants would hv international standards of hygiene, would it be safe to assume the ones in Saudi are as good. Would you recommend consuming those over others?

P.P.S What do you think of wearing facial masks? (the white one, not the beauty one)
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AbdulBasir
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« Reply #8 on: Nov 19, 2008 12:13 AM »

salam

Sr. Barr, may Allah reward you, you have given me a different appreciation of the hajj as jihad hadith. Subhanallah.

May your Hajj be a blessed one!
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jannah
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« Reply #9 on: Nov 26, 2008 09:47 AM »

wsalam,

ummibrahim is going to hajj too!! yayy hopefully we'll get twice the amount of duas now Wink she got the book that sr. kathy recommended way back when and that I loved. It's called 'Getting the best out of Hajj' by Abu Muneer Ismail (i thought this name was davis) but the video says Davids. He also has a seminar in 4 parts on google video I'll put the links up of those. jzaks ummibrahim!

ws
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