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Author Topic: My dear sisters i need your advice  (Read 4314 times)
ashg1989
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« on: Nov 22, 2008 01:10 PM »


Salaam my sisters. I have a friend that is in my class. She sits beside me at a table. We have assignments on computer that we do. Anyways...she is mean to me. She will put my computer to sleep when I am busy doing something on it, pinch me, poke me, even sometimes pull my hair. I am not Muslim yet...but she is the only person who knows that I plan to convert...it is my secret and I want to keep it until I am ready for others to know. The thing is I am scared to make her mad...I don't know what to do...can one of you advise me?

Many thanks....
jannah
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« Reply #1 on: Nov 22, 2008 05:54 PM »

wsalam,

how old are you? sounds like a bully to me. the best thing you can do is stand up to her. unfortunately this may result in her trying to get back at you and telling everyone. she could also be doing those things to get your attention. you know like a spoiled child does bad stuff to get their parents attention...kids do this too!
Blessedgrandma
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« Reply #2 on: Nov 22, 2008 08:48 PM »

I agree with Jannah, however wonder if you might could approach your teacher in private and ask she or he change the seating arrangement.
I too would like to ask how old you are and what grade you're in?
ashg1989
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« Reply #3 on: Nov 23, 2008 12:56 PM »

I want to thank both of you for your advice. As in an answer to your questions: I am 19 and I am in the 12th grade.

Blessedgrandma
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« Reply #4 on: Nov 23, 2008 08:44 PM »

My goodness, in 12th grade and adults acting this way?
Sad....
If you and her are in 12th grade and adults, I think you need to tell the instructor.
Seriously this young woman harassing you must have some emotional issues, cause adults
aren't suppose to be acting this way.
I'd now suggest (knowing the age group involved) that you go see your guidance counselor
and talk to your instructor about the harassment.
In grade school poking, pinching and pulling hair is a bully
but as young adults it's consider assult.
ashg1989
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« Reply #5 on: Nov 24, 2008 11:48 AM »

You know...I have told her to stop...but she just doesn't listen. She is smarter than me on some things, but certainly not when it comes to considering others. Last Friday when she did these things...I shut her out of my mind and went to a website to read Quran. If I didn't...I probably would have broke down. I have thought a lot about asking my instructor to assign me a different seat...even trading seats with one of her other friends. I really do not think that I could go through another semester of this.
xina6143
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« Reply #6 on: Nov 24, 2008 12:05 PM »

 Huh? I dont know how you could still call her a friend she sure isnt acting like one but thats besides the point..I would say talk to the teacher but I think that sometimes that can make things worse.  Have you tried to take her aside and ask her why shes doing those things to you??? Sometimes if you sit down and have a heart to heart with someone it works and if you havent tried it yet I cant really see it making things any worse if they dont make them better.  If thats not possible then I would just see if you could trade seats with someone else. I hope everything works out for you...
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« Reply #7 on: Nov 25, 2008 03:56 AM »

I'm still amazed and shocked, this is an adult we're talking about not a kid  Angry
She needs a good clobbering, but since that would just get you in trouble, I'd report her behavior.
blackrose
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« Reply #8 on: Nov 25, 2008 04:14 PM »

salam

sweetheart, stop thinking and go tell the teacher to change your seat. You will feel alot better. Im also shocked that a twelfth grader is acting this way. She sounds very immature.
ashg1989
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« Reply #9 on: Dec 02, 2008 12:07 AM »

Today she had started her same ways again...but this time...i had said stop it...i said it louder than i meant to...then she hardly did anything after that. And when she tried  to poke me...i told her "don't do that...i don't like being touched like that." So she stopped that. Maybe her torturing me has finally come to an end.
Inshallah.

Many thanks for all of your replies.
God bless all of you!
 madinaflag


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« Reply #10 on: Dec 02, 2008 03:38 PM »

good for you!

salaam
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