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Author Topic: Lack of communication on Hajj?  (Read 963 times)
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« on: Nov 25, 2008 05:55 AM »

My husband has recently decided to go on Hajj.We have chatted about going before, but he has just decided to go alone.He does these things alone and tells me for him to explore when we go next.
He has considerable wealth but does not nafaqah me.I have link on his account and he just tells me to draw money, yet when I do he keeps on talking about me just taking money.Yet he complains of my clothes, that they are not fitting for a muslimah.
He now tells me he wants space, I must not expect him to be with me or our four kids.
Since his decision to go on Hajj, we have hardly chatted to him.When the two of us talk about his impending Hajj he does not want to talk about it with me.
He is confusing me!
I do not know how to handle this situation, I would have thought that a decision of going on pilgrimage would have brought us closer, but it appears that he wants to go it alone.Yet I am supposed to receive him with a pleasant mood, this is difficult seeing that we do not chat. I have loads more as I do not have someone in whom I confide.


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« Reply #1 on: Nov 25, 2008 09:29 AM »

peace be upon you

So this is not just about communication about Hajj. There is more to it.

That he does not give you nafaqah would be wrong, if he had not allowed you to draw money from his account. That he complains about your expenditure is, of course, wrong, unless you are the extravagant type.

There could be a lot of factors, and if you examine yourself and his behaviour, maybe you can find out what the problem/s are.

One posssibility is that maybe something is wrong with your marriage. He may br trying to distance himself from you. Explore if you have wronged him or put him off. And if you find something, remove that. Have you been ignoring him because of your four kids.

There is a difference in a man's approach and a woman's. Sometimes that is the problem. Sometimes there are misunderstandings, and sometimes the approach to life and to partners is different.

Is he fair-minded in his dealings with others? If so, you should ask him to sit down and explain how does he expect the household to be run. How much money do you need for running it, and if expenses rise due to price increase, or children growing up, he should provide for that eventuality.

About your clothes, ask him what he wants, and tell him what you want. But as I said earlier, do examine yourself first.

There are two duas. I give you links below: Both three times after every fard Salah, and as many times during the day as you can. In addition, number two for mutual love: seven times before you sleep.

1. dua for monetary problems

2. dua for mutual love

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