// Poll: Should we have exclusive bro-only/sis-only boards?
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Poll
Question: Should we have exclusive bro-only/sis-only boards?
We shouldn't have any bro/sis only boards.
No, both genders should be able to see and post on both boards
We shouldn't have any bro/sis only boards.

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« on: Jan 10, 2008 04:12 AM »


Please vote so we get an idea of what ppl want!

 sis hijabisis pinkhijabisis princesssis princesssis purplehijabisis niqabisis shaykha flowersis bropraying bro arabbeardbro malaybro arabbro sudanibro desibro fez
umm ibraheem
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« Reply #1 on: Jan 10, 2008 02:21 PM »

I say completely separate since the biggest topic in the sisters and brothers room where others would comment is marriage, right?  there is a room for that now, so why not have exclusive rooms?  sisters will feel more comfortable posting certain things without worrying about if a guy is reading or not. and vice versa.
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« Reply #2 on: Jan 10, 2008 03:43 PM »

I agree withh Sr. Umm Ibraheem on this ... but I'm just wondering why some brothers have access to the sisters section beat ?

"Do not treat people with contempt, nor walk insolently on the earth. Allah does not love the arrogant or the self-conceited boaster. Be modest in your bearing and subdue your voice, for the most unpleasant of voices is the braying of the ass." [The Holy Qur'an, Surah Luqman - 31:18-19]
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« Reply #3 on: Jan 10, 2008 10:58 PM »

I see we're at a 50/50 vote and that bothers me.
I wonder if it is brothers or sister voting for brothers to see
sister's sections.

We have many sisters dealing with marital, children, medical, personal
issues and I worry they won't feel comfortable opening up if they
know men can see what they want to express.
I vote keep us seperate.
seperate sections allow women to come out and seek advice of other women
without embarrassment.
purplehijabisis
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« Reply #4 on: Jan 11, 2008 01:22 AM »

Thats exactly what I was thinking Blessedgrandma!  And it would be interesting to see who is voting (gender).
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« Reply #5 on: Jan 11, 2008 03:49 AM »

salam,

Please let everyone vote and let's see how it goes. When the sections are open it's not like bros/sisters are peeping toms!! They're just sections where things dealing with one gender or the other mostly are posted and some people prefer that we be open and helpful to each other instead of all secretive. Many issues, we benefit much from hearing the opposite viewpoints.
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« Reply #6 on: Jan 11, 2008 06:54 AM »

salam,

Please let everyone vote and let's see how it goes. When the sections are open it's not like bros/sisters are peeping toms!! They're just sections where things dealing with one gender or the other mostly are posted and some people prefer that we be open and helpful to each other instead of all secretive. Many issues, we benefit much from hearing the opposite viewpoints.


If that's the case then why even vote?
Not to be disrespectful, just sincere question.
We claim to need to keep the genders seperate in other Islamic areas, why not a
sisters only.
I mean, come on do the brothers really want to hear details
of childbirth, womens monthly's, womens menopause and other things
women may want to ask or inquire about.
I feel it is no different than when women get together over tea and chat
with no men around. Same as brothers hang out with brothers, not the wives.
If one or the other wants a broader bro and sis opinion then they can always
post on the Naseeha section.
I see already 4 of us have been brave enough to speak out.
Come on Jannah, when you want to ask about 'female' issues do you go chat
to brothers? No different than putting those 'personal female' items out
on the store counter for a brother to ring up  Wink
You'd prefer a line with a women right?
purplehijabisis
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« Reply #7 on: Jan 11, 2008 11:11 AM »

wsalam,

Wow you guys are like the teamsters bullying everyone to your vote lol. Smiley I think everyone should be able to vote since there isn't an agreement on this issue. Thanks for voicing your opinions. Let's hear from both sides if anyone else has an opposing viewpoint.

I would also say I think we have benefited over time from having both of them open in the past. Also, there are always ways to hack in and read both boards so nothing is truly invulnerable on the internet. What's to stop someone registering as a female or male and reading the other board!

So vote everyone! oldshaykh

ps i'm pretty neutral i can see the arguments both ways
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« Reply #8 on: Jan 11, 2008 12:31 PM »

I think that is very difficult in an online community to have exclusive male female sections no matter how hard you try.... so in some ways it is better that everyone knows everyone can see the posts. for very personal items may be better to im for oppinions!!!

just my thoughts
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« Reply #9 on: Jan 11, 2008 07:14 PM »

wsalam,

Wow you guys are like the teamsters bullying everyone to your vote lol. Smiley I think everyone should be able to vote since there isn't an agreement on this issue. So vote everyone! oldshaykh

ps i'm pretty neutral i can see the arguments both ways


Respectfully, since when did voicing an opinion become bullying?
Does that mean if we agree to go with the flow we're whimps? Huh?
No one ever said everyone should be allowed to vote.
Us three sisters just left feed back. Huh?
To me bullying would be to threaten or force others to vote the way we want them to.
Since non of us are doing that I fail to see how we're bullying Huh?
purplehijabisis
Anwar
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« Reply #10 on: Jan 11, 2008 07:30 PM »

peace be upon you

I got an idea . Why not have normal sister and bro boards that lets them read each others, but then also have a separate one just for sisters.
My idea was the private sisters board would be only for sisters who've been on the board for at least a year and you know for sure that they're sisters and only you (Jannah) can give them access. So if there was a sister who wanted entrance to it, they had to ask you first Just like you have to approve registrations to the board.

I don't think brothers need one cause we have our own references for personal stuff  Tongue But you could have a poll whether we brothers want (need) our own private board or not.

 - A
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« Reply #11 on: Jan 11, 2008 08:50 PM »

if there is something really person you can alway use anonymous right? There are even male doctors here that can help plus some men may be able to help, maybe their wife went through the same issue or soemthing.

salaamz
Anwar
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« Reply #12 on: Jan 11, 2008 10:19 PM »

if there is something really person you can alway use anonymous right? There are even male doctors here that can help plus some men may be able to help, maybe their wife went through the same issue or soemthing.

salaamz
Wsalam

Some men might get a bit uncomfortable reading about women's personal issues, plus there are kids who read the board too.

 - A
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« Reply #13 on: Jan 12, 2008 05:08 AM »


Is it my imagination or did the sister only board disappear?
If so where would we find the posts that were already there?
I was about to reply to one this evening, came back and poof it's gone.
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« Reply #14 on: Jan 12, 2008 05:17 AM »

wsalaam,

There's a bug that allows ppl to see the wrong board, so I don't want it to be open and ppl post thinking they're protected. They're still there, but we'll wait until the voting is over and try to come to a solution. I think I have a good compromise, but I'll wait and tell you guys after.
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« Reply #15 on: Jan 12, 2008 05:44 AM »

haha did you erase it cause of the question i put on it Huh? i was really interested in the answers since I got the one that works for me Wink
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« Reply #16 on: Jan 12, 2008 06:14 AM »

I think separate boards would make discussing feminine matters easier for the sisters, especially the younger ones.
My 2 cents worth.
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« Reply #17 on: Jan 12, 2008 02:22 PM »

As salaamu alaikum

I like Anwar's suggestion of having two sets of boards.  There is comfort and security in closed boards for those really personal, embarassing, private, confidential things that would never be discussed in mixed company just as there is benefit to some of those issues or questions that may cross gender lines or that need the other's perspective for insight.

As salaamu alaikum

Fa'izah
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« Reply #18 on: Jan 12, 2008 03:17 PM »

Assalaamualaikum,
I was just reading and I think br. Anwar's opinion is right, if that wouldn't be too much of a problem for the administrators to create. You can keep the boards where bros/sisters visit regularly open to everyone, and for private questions for brothers or sisters, or for those of them who don't want the other sides' opinion, you can create a different board. You're the administrator(s), so you know better which boards are visited by both and which ones are benefited from by both brothers and sisters. Another idea is for sisters to put in their subject line that that question is for sisters only... because after all, even after you create brother/sister separate boards, there is always a way that either can read the other's boards.  Undecided Just an idea. Let me know what you think.
Wassalaam
Anwar
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« Reply #19 on: Jan 12, 2008 09:21 PM »

Another suggestion would be to keep the sisters only board invisible to people who cannot access them. So when you grant access to a sister, you also give the URL so they can also access it.

No one can hack into a board that they don't know exists right?  Smiley

 - A
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« Reply #20 on: Jan 13, 2008 12:32 AM »

One suggestion about a private sisters board.
Jannah, I'm sure you're familiar with the Why Islam board?
They have a sisters only section and one can only join after one has been a member so
many months and has a min # of posts.
I can see good in either way.
Over the years, I have personally come across other sister who private messaged
me cause they were in need of advice or an ear to vent
or in need of someone understanding and wanted it to be amog sisters,
PM'ed me cause they didn't want to post where males could see it.
Jannah, I have gotten to know you as best a person can over the internet for years.
You're a wise young woman and I'm sure you'll make the right choices.
I see the voting is nearly 50 / 50  If it isn't to much work for you, maybe keep the seperate sisters section
and then those who don't mind the opposite gender reading stuff to put it on
the Naseeha or Bebsi board Huh?
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« Reply #21 on: Jan 13, 2008 01:23 AM »

As salaamu alaikum --

I prefer having unrestricted boards. If that is decided against I vote for two sets of boards, with one set being restricted for "sensitive" topics.

In general I don't like any restrictions because  if people don't post very often, they are locked out of topics from which they might either benefit or might be able to contribute. (That was my experience at sunniforum when they changed their rules).  Also, since we are conversing online, you have no guarantee that Sis X is really a sister anyway -- she may have hundreds of posts here, but still be a "He". How would you know?

For those who want segregation of the sexes online, there are many other single-sex boards and mail lists.  Please keep the communications "open" here.    sis
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« Reply #22 on: Jan 13, 2008 02:10 AM »


Sr. Pearl,
Jannah isn't talking about seperating the whole board just one small part of it.
There are all the other sections of the board at this site that would remain open to both
genders such as these.

Bebzi Stand
 Kind of like the water cooler area at work, discussions about life and humor.

Naseeha Corner
For posting personal problems, suggestions and discussion.

I'm not trying to be badgering, I just wonder how many of you think we're talking about
the whole board?  It's not about seperating all sections, it's just about having a small
area to go where sisters can relate to sisters and brothers to brothers. purplehijabisis

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« Reply #23 on: Jan 14, 2008 05:10 PM »

Well, as I said we already have enough sections on this board... so there is no need to duplicate one   smack

"Do not treat people with contempt, nor walk insolently on the earth. Allah does not love the arrogant or the self-conceited boaster. Be modest in your bearing and subdue your voice, for the most unpleasant of voices is the braying of the ass." [The Holy Qur'an, Surah Luqman - 31:18-19]
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« Reply #24 on: Jan 15, 2008 03:49 PM »

Assalaam Alaikum,

Jazakamullahu Khairan for your feedback. The polls are now closed. Since we seem to be as neck and neck as obama and hillary and people feel strongly about this. We'll just have both.

The Brothers Hangout and Sisters Resort boards are now open to everyone including guests to read. Underneath those we have a 'brothers-only' and 'sisters-only' exclusive boards that only show up when you are logged in and placed in that group. There is no bug for this so if you are one gender that is the only one you can read. It is completely private.

As for moderating the brothers-only I'm going to assume you brothers will moderate yourselves, but if you have any issues please message admin. We'll see how we decide to add the coming members. I've added everyone who is a member as of today.  But for now they're open so go for it  bebzi
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