Interesting, that it mentioned the ‘traffic’ scenario… I think if you don’t personalize things, its actually quite stress free…
Addicted to negativity and unhappiness (i.e, Pain Body)
Until the awareness arises, you are identified with the voice in your head, and it becomes your superficial personality. The content of the Egoic mind with its repetitive thought patterns can be: judgments, prejudices, likes and dislikes. Many of us are trapped in the Egoic mind, and conditioned by the past, but this is not who we really are. This addiction to negative thoughts in our head is the root to our problems. We have lost ourselves in the mind and our thoughts.
Recognize that there is a voice in your head that doesn’t stop speaking. Notice what the voice is saying. Catch yourself as you think a negative thought, more and more often. Practice this awareness everyday. Realize that it’s just a story that you have been telling yourself, about yourself, and that is all it is: a story that you keep repeating.
Nothing that has happened to you in the past can prevent you from being in the now, where the power is. Remember that the past has no power. The power comes with the awareness that there is a “voice in your head”. When you are present and aware of your thoughts, the thoughts can’t control you. This means that the power is in the now.
Pain-body is part of the Ego and is a very unhappy entity. It is an energy field inside your body that is formed by negative thoughts and emotions that you are experiencing. Pain body can manifest itself as: illness, anger, stress, fear etc. Pain-body seeks unhappiness and unpleasant experiences that matches its energy field, because pain-body feeds on negativity. Its very existence consists of this unhappy vibration and the pain-body doesn’t want an end to this unhappiness because this would mean an end to the pain-body.
When the pain-body awakens it will seek drama to feed it self. This is very common in close relationships. The pain-body tends to push the partner’s “button” to bring a negative reaction. It’s easier to realize the pain-body in someone else. You require more presence to see it in yourself. One sign that your pain-body is awakening is when you react strongly with intense emotions that are greater than the external trigger (e.g. a simple remark from your partner makes you furious). If you are present in this moment and say: “oh there’s my pain body”, it means that you are not at the mercy of your pain-body.
If you hold on to your negative stories, and memories in your thoughts and feelings, they become fuel for your pain-body. In order to release your pain-body, you need to recognize your negative thought patterns. You become aware when you practice presence and catch yourself with a negative thought, over and over again. So, next time a negative thought and/or emotion arise, become aware and face them. Say to yourself: “oh, here’s that negative thought again” or “here’s that unpleasant feeling” Accept this thought/feeling, without any judgments. Your awareness of your Egoic mind means that it’s no longer controlling you. Then, focus only on your feelings, without thinking anything. Just accept your feelings as they are. When you are present, a sense of peace arises, and the unpleasant emotion automatically resolves. By being aware and present, you release your pain-body.
When you become aware, your thoughts will not have control over you. Instead, you will regain your true power that is only found in the now. When you are present, you will manage your thoughts (and thereby your emotions). In this state of mind, you release your pain-body.
When you are stuck in your pain body your emotions will rise into your mind. So when you feel sadness, you will think thoughts that make you sad, and if you feel angry, you will think thoughts that are angry etc. This means that all your interpretation of people and event will become totally distorted and very negative when you are stuck in your pain body. Pain body loves this negative energy because it feed on your negativity and unconsciously seeks more pain, that is to say, they want something bad to happen. This negative cycle continues as long as you are completely identified with your emotions, but you need to realize that you are not your emotion.
You can release your past and whatever happened to you that you keep repeating for yourself, by entering a more heightened state of awareness. You can release your “story” that you keep telling yourself, by becoming present and alert enough when your pain body becomes active, so that the negative emotion will not be able to control your mind.
How to break free from your “pain body”
• To break free of the pain body, you need to lose the identification of it.
• You are not the emotion. You are the awareness behind the emotion.
• Become aware of your pain body. This awareness causes a shift. If you completely identify yourself with the emotion, it rises into your mind, and it will control your thinking.
• Feel the emotion without any thoughts. Accept whatever you feel at this moment. When you resist a situation or a feeling, it persists, and then it causes stress and creates further negative emotion that wants to deny what is there.
• Say “yes” to whatever arises and become friendly with the present moment, even if the present moment doesn’t look that great in the moment. Allow the feeling even if it makes you sad, angry etc. Surrender to the feeling. Then choose to do something about that, or not.
For example, when you feel a negative emotion arising at the beginning of what could become an argument, be aware that you at this time have a mental position that is your Ego and feel the uncomfortable emotion that is part of your pain body. Now, accept this emotion and become still. Don’t get drawn into opposing the other person in any way. When you become peaceful, the argument has to resolve. When you have no drama within yourself, there can not be any drama in your experience.
Other opportunities to resolve your pain body is if you personalize the “traffic” and get angry when people are cutting the line in front of you. When you are regarding the “event” as a personal insult, remind yourself that this is the Ego talking. The angry feeling that has now become active is your pain body. Feel and accept this angry emotion and stay present. As you become aware of your pain body, a shift within you will take place and your pain body will no longer have the control over you. This means that your emotions will no longer control your thoughts and behavior. This also means that you won’t get stressed from the event.
Also, next time you get stuck in traffic, remind yourself that this has nothing to do with you. When there is nothing you can do to change a situation, be with it. Say “yes” and become friendly with it. Use the time to meditate instead. These are wonderful “life lessons” and opportunities to learn acceptance and surrender.
If you, on the other hand, observe that you are not accepting and surrendering to the situation, then it’s a wonderful opportunity to learn about dysfunction, and observe how dysfunction arises. This is an important step towards awareness.