Being covered means no one notices her and so a husband won't be found. Being good and virtuous and striving to live right proves to be useless... It is undeniable that it is far better to wait until after marriage to hide oneself behind the flowing fabric but to land the man you got to let it all hang out.
I have to disagree with you here. When I first met my husband (i.e. before we were married) I wore hijab. The fact that I was covered actually made a strong impression on him and that is one of the reasons he asked for my hand in marriage. This is also true for my friends who all wear hijab- every one of them who is now married wore hijab at the time they first met their potential husbands. So basically your argument doesn’t stand at all. It proves to be useless? Really? I would so have to disagree. Those who are around me that I perceive as being good and virtuous are the types of people I wish to spend my time with. I actually actively seek out their company. These are the people I respect, and it was these qualities that attracted my husband and myself to each other.
Men notice her non-Muslim counterparts in abudance and actively seek after them while the Muslimah is left wondering what she did wrong and worse yet faced with casting aside her covering and turning her back on the "beautiful" path in order to find happiness and a husband.
Is that really happiness that she finds though? How can one be truly happy when one has turned her back on an important part of her religion, and also her own principles and convictions on what is right, good and true?
I mean shorten the skirt; wear some uncomfortable high heels; uncover the hair; apply some make up and "poof" there's a line of prospects for the taking because they will willingly do what they need to and satisfy every and any need or desire she has just to be the one to claim the prize.
I don’t mean to sound patrionizing but I don’t think it’ll come out any other way but that- do you really know men? What man do you know will fulfil your every need or desire just so that he can claim you? The type of men you are talking about won’t even have respect for you, so what would they care about your needs and desires? If anything, they will only woo you in order to satisfy their own whims and desires. Do you really want to be someone’s plaything? Though to be honest, it seems from your post(s) that you are considering this.
When one denies themselves the desires of the flesh there is no reward not in this life nor the next.
I feel so truly sad for you subhanAllah. How far you have fallen. Every Muslim knows that there is reward for denying the desires of the flesh outside of marriage. I know you know that. Maybe you therefore wrote this without thinking clearly or maybe you truly believe this. If you do, I suggest you go back to the teachings of Islam and really study them. You will then realise how much reward there is for one who denies their sexual urges outside of marriage, and how much sin there is on the one who caves in. This is why the Prophet in various ahadeeth has stated how much reward a husband and wife get for engaging in sexual activities within the marriage. SubhanAllah there is so much reward for not engaging in sex outside of marriage. Have you ever wondered that some of the blessings you receive in everyday life are because of this?
This life is too short to be a foolish martyr while all around everyone else is enjoying and savoring all the pleasure of life.
What kind of people are you talking about? The sinners who give up on certain Islamic teachings and gain pleasure in wrongdoing? That’s how you want to gain your pleasure too??
When one considers that a woman sells herself when she gets married (a dowry is nothing more than a payment/purchase price) why then is that not considered 'cheapening' herself but getting what she wants from whoever no matter what she has to do and with no strings attached is?
This is such an ugly statement that I felt so disgusted when I read this. You really seem to have drifted from the beautiful religion of Islam that I feel so sad for you, rather than angry for some of your silly statements. First of all, the religious term is mahr. Dowry is more associated with Hinduism. Secondly, your definition of it being a ‘payment/purchase price’ is the definition of Hindus. In Islam it is seen as a gift, a beautiful and precious gift between a husband and wife. The guy is asking her to marry him, and stating that he knows his obligations as a husband and all that this entails and he wishes to fulfil these obligations to her. It is a gift that she can do what she likes with, the beginning of many gifts insha’Allah that he will continue to shower on her through the marriage, but a gift which the religion calls on him to offer her. Note I said ‘offer’. It is up to the wife whether she accepts a mahr or not. So if you don’t want to ‘cheapen’ yourself, then don’t accept his gift of a mahr.
there is nothing wrong with putting faith in Allah (and in fact is a wise thing) however one also must do for self lest one get left behind and never rewarded in this life.
I totally agree with this. This also means getting everyone you know involved. Families, relatives at home as well as abroad, ditto with friends, acquaintances, any Imams you know, and getting all these people to pass on the word to all their connections that someone they know is looking to get married. You need to be active, as well as relying on Allah.
Given all I've been through I wish I could just turn my back on all men because they aren't worth it.
I know this may sound harsh, but maybe you should. You sound way too bitter to be searching for someone right now, especially as you’ve got all these messed up notions going around in your head. I’m saying this to get you to think deeply about yourself- have you considered the fact that because you’re so bitter, that you’re possibly sending out negative vibes to people? Maybe this is why you’re having such a rough time. People talk about how sending out negative energy only attracts negative energy back. You honestly don’t sound like you’re in a good place right now so I don’t know how healthy it even is for you to be thinking about finding a life partner at the moment. One of the biggest turn-offs for any potential is going to be someone who’s so wrapped up in their own misery. Frankly, if I was looking for a partner, I would stay well clear of you. Seriously, please think about how you must be putting yourself across to people.
It is as if Allah just chose them to suffer endlessly and I've not seen where that is the way things go; force some to suffer continuously their entire adult lives.
This is life unfortunately. Just like those who have faced war and are repeatedly raped- they continue to suffer. Just like parents who have tried for a baby for years and years and still nothing. They too continue to suffer. No doubt you know the religious take on suffering so no need to rehash that here.
why are we going through this type of talk again?
If someone can’t come in here and vent, where else can they go? I think people have a right to let things off their chest, and as their brothers and sisters in Islam, we should give them the best advice that we can. Certain same issues will crop up and every now and then as people experience them differently in different times of their lives. They are only human, why can’t they talk about things which are severely upsetting them? I understand you might be frustrated seeing same topics being repeated, but you have the choice to not get involved in them. This is a big forum, find another thread which interests you and participate in that.