// What to do with an annoying friend?
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Author Topic: What to do with an annoying friend?  (Read 1964 times)
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Anonymous
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« on: Jan 11, 2009 11:56 AM »


I am a sister and recently one of the brothers in our friends circle got married to a girl I find extremely annoying. The type of girl I keep warning brothers not to marry but they take one look at them and fall for their helpless, cute good girl act. Every time I am with her she finds untold ways to offend me. I find her extremely shallow and vain. Any time we are together she talks about her hundreds of suitors and how everyone finds her so beautiful Roll Eyes She disparages and makes remarks about people that I find offensive. I'd tell you the details but she'd probably find this one day and recognize herself! I have tried a few times to really be nice to her, and find something in her to like, but it's just annoying me to death. I'm sure she's a good person but she is just that type of person that I can't stand. Most of the others laugh off her gauche or insulting remarks, or share in her vain interests. She has really insulted people to their face but perhaps they are better at thinking nothing of it. Unfortunately, she's now part of our friends circle and I'm not sure what to do. I think trying to stay away from her as much as possible is in the best interest of everyone. But how can I when she is always invited to every outing or event? Anyway, has anyone else gone through something similar? What did you do to get around it? And no I'm not that self-sacrificing and of good of a character to try to get over it and be nice-nice and be her best friend.
Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #1 on: Jan 11, 2009 07:37 PM »

salam

Sounds like you have a big friend circle, if so, attend the events and just avoid her except for the salaams, you don't have to sit and speak to her.

In life one will often come across people who one finds immediately put ones back up, move on and let her get on with it. She prolly doesn't like you much either as you are clearly not enthusiastic about her million and one suitors (I wouldn't be either to be honest).

Either she'll stop, or her husband will get wind and then she'll stop.

She sounds young to me, she'll grow out of it. Or annoy her husband to death with repeated stories of her legendary youthful beauty.

She's prolly insecure too, as she sounds to have been thrown into a mix of old friends and clearly wants to show you all she's worthy of your friendship (OK she's going about it the wrong way).

Leave her alone, as you are not going to be her friend, don't be her enemy either please.


Wassalaam
Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #2 on: Jan 11, 2009 08:15 PM »

Can you have the Imam talk to her or her husband?
Maybe post an anon letter to her saying you don't want to hurt her feelings but you feel you need to
make her aware of how uncomfortable she is making you and others?
Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #3 on: Jan 11, 2009 10:07 PM »

Actually it's a very small friends circle. Maybe 3-5 sisters so I can't avoid her. What does the Imam have to do with anything or her husband?

Imam: Your wife is really shallow.
Husband: Yes I realized after I married her.
Imam: Too late.
Husband: Yeah, but she's cute.
Imam: A plus!

It isn't any one particular thing it's just how she is. You can't change a person who grew up with a privliged background unless you drop them down in a third-world country for a year or something.

Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #4 on: Jan 11, 2009 10:34 PM »

salam

This may sound mean. But you sound like you are jealous of her.

Maybe you need to find yourself some new friends, or stay home a while and read, or pray or take up a hobby.

Just don't be one of those women who decide you don't like someone and then spend your energies being mean to the girl or worse getting your friends to pick on her too, brings awful memories of being bullied at school for me.
Yes she may have an inflated opinion of herself, but bet you have annoying habits too which your friends are just too nice to point out.

Take up knitting, donate your efforts to charity, make dua to Allah to make you a nice tolerant person, with a big heart and generous spirit.

I don't see the problem, stay away if you feel you are unable to be civil. Because you actually can't tell her to go away, she is part of the package now with her husband.


Wassalaam
Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #5 on: Jan 12, 2009 01:50 AM »

Actually it's a very small friends circle. Maybe 3-5 sisters so I can't avoid her. What does the Imam have to do with anything or her husband?

Imam: Your wife is really shallow.
Husband: Yes I realized after I married her.
Imam: Too late.
Husband: Yeah, but she's cute.
Imam: A plus!

It isn't any one particular thing it's just how she is. You can't change a person who grew up with a privliged background unless you drop them down in a third-world country for a year or something.



I dunno, maybe I've been watching to much Little Mospque on the Prairie Cheesy
With your first post I kind of thought, ok, there are folks I find annoying also.
But with your new post, you kind of sound a little snotty and I find the sisters insight and advice above totally
on target, sorry, don't mean to sound harsh either.
As Amaar said to Ryanne, 'I think you need to pray'

Hey sisters, remember in the first series where the mother in law came to stay and Ryanne said,
I think I've been watching to much dancing with the stars?
Now I can say, I think I've been watching to much Little Mosque on the Prairie Grin
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