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Author Topic: Ladies I need you help here "MEN"  (Read 1285 times)
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Sr. Member

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« on: Jan 11, 2009 07:07 AM »

I am American/Catholic who is married to a Palestein/Muslim, been married for 2.5 years. Happy to a point. I recently found that my husband been chatting with another woman muslim who been his friend for about 3 years. I found out anonymous and question my husband about it and he told me that this is his friend and we are just friend. I have really no problem with this, but the problem I do have is. They talk only when I'm at work and she respect me when I'm home with my husband. Her husband doesn't know they talk either. "Surprise" How do I deal with this as a wife and a human with feelings. The problem is he talks to her about feelings that he having and doesn't talk to me about anything except for the normal way of life. I put 110% in my marraige every day to this man. When we first meet I was at the mosque learning everything about this man and trying to be on the same level as him. I work so hard to have the tings I have today and make a marriage together as one. I have gave up so much for him, friends, family, and time and ME. This is because I'm a woman and not jealous either. I'm just want what she has with my husband I feel I'm so not in it anymore.  What to do....

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Blessedgrandma has no influence :(
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« Reply #1 on: Jan 11, 2009 07:29 AM »

You're in one heck of a situation and what I have to say or advise
may not be what you want to hear.
This is a very dangerous (for the marriage) situation and
I don't see this being easy to solve. To me going to another woman
outside of ones marriage for emotional, social, etc support and friendship
in my opinion is emotional and social cheating.
And I see it as a serious issue more so cause he husband doesn't know
about her friendship with your husband.
I personally? I would have a major heart to heart with him (if he were my husband)
and let him know what is acceptable to you as his wife and what is not acceptable
and he need to make a choice, and I'm sure my opinion won't be to popular with
others on the board, but I like to call an ace an ace and a spade a spade.
This isn't a very good situation at all and needs to be stopped.
But your husband is the one who has to stop it.
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« Reply #2 on: Jan 11, 2009 07:41 PM »


I would tell her to break off all contact with your husband or you tell her husband. And if she tells your husband you will tell her husband.

She is wrong and being utterly two faced. if your husband needs a heart to heart he can talk to her husband, or to you, or his mother or sister, a non mahram woman no flipping way.


And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186

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peaceman has no influence :(
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« Reply #3 on: Jan 21, 2009 07:26 PM »

Peace be upon all the followers of guidance,

     I would like to say first of all, to keep up your learning of what the truth is when it comes
to religion, and expel the falsehoods that were innovated in the religions of the past, and
hold firmly to the belief in GOD, the One Creator and Controller of the whole universe. I would
you to read some of the books of our noble scholars, to increase your understanding of our faith.

    In the Islamic faith, as explained by our scholars, coversation with the opposite sex is only
allowed in certain situations, like out of necessity, learning and teaching, and proposals leading to
marriage. It is not allowed to talk to the opposite sex, if it is something that may lead to the path
of indecency. This is what the scholars have said on that issue.

   Again, I would invite you to educate yourslef in the tenets of Islam, like the belief in One God, and
many of the books of our noble scholars.


May Allah increase you in knowledge.
Take a look at my site:

Also a good site with several mp3 durus of beneficial knowledge from our ulema, fiqh explaining the book "bulgh Maram" , Q&A,
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« Reply #4 on: Jan 22, 2009 08:21 AM »

As peaceman said in the Islamic religion "chatting" and needless interaction is not allowed between genders. The reason why is because of the very real potential of getting too close and having relations outside of marriage, be it premarital or adultery. Obviously you are quite aware of this potential. I agree, this must be stopped and cannot be tolerated.
You do not have to feel guilty or bad about demanding that this end. You are not at fault!!He is outside of his religion with this, not to mention disrespecting you.

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