Madinat al-Muslimeen Community
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Apr 20, 2014 11:55 AM
Home Help Search Login Register
News: All the world's a kabob truck.
 


Pages: 1 [2] 3   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: anyone else hooked on facebook?  (Read 14956 times)
lala marcy
Sis
Sr. Member
*

Reputation Power: 14
lala marcy has no influence :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 254


« Reply #25 on: Feb 04, 2009 02:41 PM »

Salaam,

Perhaps I am desensitized. I need to retreat somewhere perhaps for like a good 6 months.  pinkhijabisis

When I saw my little cousin posting some really stupid pictures of herself from her Imac computer camera thing..I just wanted to go over to her house and yell at her or something. I didnt do that..but I just stopped looking at her page. Basically, I dont look at anyones' page anymore unless they prompt me to via a message or something. Likewise, I hope noone looks at mine. It's not very interesting anyway.

However, I still think that some 'sin's that muslims portray openly (and what we think are sins)- may not be thought of as sins to some of them. Then there are those that know they are commiting a sin- but dont care. We can't go around berating everyone right? Doesnt make sense. Like I said. People are people. They will sin- but we shouldnt necessarily blacklist them. I dont know. I feel like I'm speaking in circles.


Who'd be a parent in this technological age I tell ya?


Not me. But I wish you all well --those who do have kids.

Much love


Fozia
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 124
Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 2659



« Reply #26 on: Feb 04, 2009 03:18 PM »

salam


But as a muslim, we are meant to prevent that which is wrong, physically, by speaking to the person and if not to wlak away from the place it is happening as our presence indicates our endorsement of such behaviour.

I dont believe in the let them get on/away with it, people need to be censored for bad behaviour, pictures of Muslims with didgy drinks in clubs are not on. I would come down on my girls like tonne of bricks if they ever dared to behave that way, I would expect friends and family to inform me or do the same.... it takes a village to bring up a child as the saying goes.

Stepping away and being laid back will give you a short term answer in the long run it makes the world a really bad place.


I'm going to be scary when I get old, kids will not misbehave in my vicinity. I dont care if thats harsh, people need boundaries.


Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
tq
Sis
Sr. Member
*

Reputation Power: 18
tq has no influence :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 381


« Reply #27 on: Feb 04, 2009 03:20 PM »

Assalamo elikuim


Quote
Who'd be a parent in this technological age I tell ya?

parents would be Smiley

Wasalam
tq
mother of  14 year old ,11 and 3 1/2 Smiley who is not going to reveal how she monitors her kids since one of them is a member here Smiley
lala marcy
Sis
Sr. Member
*

Reputation Power: 14
lala marcy has no influence :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 254


« Reply #28 on: Feb 04, 2009 03:34 PM »

I agree. I would like to turn the cheek..but it doesnt happen. My mom told my aunt who then asked me to show her my cousins' facebook page. Bah.

You know, there are 2 suspect photos someone tagged of me on facebook. One was my bday last year and yes, I am holding a drink in my hand. Cranberry juice to be exact. Would you assume that was a drink drink? I hope not. But you know, someone might. There goes the judging. Dont jump to wild conclusions..if there is something about someone you care about that gets you riled up, ask first.

I'm officially going to stop replying to this thread:). It is all love-hate.

Smiley mucho love your way.
blackrose
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 3
blackrose has no influence :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 1649



« Reply #29 on: Feb 04, 2009 08:34 PM »

salaam


Totally agree with Fozia here. We are all brothers and sisters and instead of fearing people we should start fearing God. I think this is a HUGE problem for all of us is that we tend to fear people more than God. (by the way if you do hVE a fear of people there is a dua you can read) 
We all have a responsiblity to our youth and need to start thinking of them as our children. Instead of judging them , talking about them, we need to think of them as our children. we need to educate them, inform their parents( unless u know the parents might make it worse)
Im thinking Fozia was jesting about the bricks because we want them to have a love for religion and God and not turn them away.
The reality is that some parents are not involved and do not care.. and somtimz we need to be their parents. I remember in my early teenage years a revert helped me understand alot more than my parents.. all i heard from my parents was cant do this and that but never 'why' never understand the benefits and harm you know. So somtimz we need to take over andalso educate the parents. We really  need to stop thinking that its 'not our responisblity' it is .. just like the talk of the palestinian chldren. we need to think of them as ours. we all need to unite and fear God only.
jannah
Administrator
Hero Member
*****

Reputation Power: 277
jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 7134


I heart the Madina


WWW
« Reply #30 on: Feb 04, 2009 10:55 PM »

I totally agree on not judging. That's why I would never add a parent/elder person in the community or even a potential rishta, they just would make judgments about everything. The only reason why I interfered with the above person/story is that it was extreme and out of control and affecting me. When I'm getting status messages and comments like "oh yeah i'd f*ing rape that sl*t b*ch etc" that's when his right to write whatever he wants ends. If every time I logon I'm reading porno I'm sorry there's just something wrong with that. No one has the right to spread that filth to me. That's a kind of oppression/dhulm. I'm not going to go tell his parents but why should any person put up with something that is beyond common decency.

So another reason why I dislike fb, everyone makes judgments based upon it. I've even had people say to me... ohh so are you interested in that brother.. and I'm like huh?? and they're like I saw they wrote blahblah and so on your wall... and I'm like yeah the one with a wife and 3 kids... uh huh.... It's just ridiculous. Everyone needs to step back and get over it. I wrote more about this in halfmydeen.org about people using facebook to check out potential rishtas and the wrong conclusions they make from it. 


BTW about the youth, this is like the hijab issue or any other issue in Islam. You can "force kids" and yell at them and tell their parents but they'll just go do it behind your back. They'll go to school and take off the hijab, or just do things out of your vicinity. It just isn't our place to go and "correct" these kids and be like "oh you have an inappropriate picture up". It's not even good dawah. Haya' and doing things that are right comes internally and from having a holistic concept of practicing islam. I think it's the parents job and the teachers job to inculcate that into the kids. No one else can do it.
blackrose
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 3
blackrose has no influence :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 1649



« Reply #31 on: Feb 04, 2009 11:01 PM »

im thinking you were right in confronting that kid.. i think we need to have a discussion one time on how to go about doing that. because I wouldnt want to be asked in the day of judgement why I didnt do anything about it. (not everyone ofcourse, but a sever case like that then yes)
jannah
Administrator
Hero Member
*****

Reputation Power: 277
jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 7134


I heart the Madina


WWW
« Reply #32 on: Feb 04, 2009 11:18 PM »

If I saw porno etc that's when I think I have the right to say something, or just defriend them.  But, again even if I saw pictures of someone drinking/hanging out with their gf/bf or whatever worse thing I wouldn't say anything. That just isn't the way to approach kids. I don't think any kid is going to amend if some elder person in the community makes a comment about seeing something inappropriate in their facebook profile. And I would never go and tell their parents about something I saw specifically. I just don't think that's right. I know the parents hate that, but I just wouldn't.

To bring this to a conversation on dawah, what creates change? What motivates a person to tawbah and amending? It's education, appropriate naseehah and a burst of the own person's heart.  That's never created by judgmental comments or naseeha that invalidates itself by the way it's given. If you have no relationship with the child except being someone in the community I just think that invalidates the naseeha. I wouldn't listen to any old busybody in the community so why should they?
BrKhalid
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 27
BrKhalid barely matters :(BrKhalid barely matters :(
Gender: Male
Posts: 1352



« Reply #33 on: Feb 05, 2009 07:53 AM »

Asalaamu Alaikum  bro

Crikey, given the posts above, I suddenly feel very naïve about what goes on at FB!!

The whole friends reunited/classmates.com/myspace/facebook generation seemed to pass me by.

I guess I should blame addiction to the Madina for that  bro


Quote
I think it's the parents job and the teachers job to inculcate that into the kids. No one else can do it.


On the dawah perspective, I don’t really think you can blame teachers nowadays since they have all sorts of pressures heaped upon them, that getting them to actually *teach* is an achievement in itself!!


Parents really need to step up to the plate and take an active interest in what their children are doing and who they are associating with and, yes, that includes fathers as well as mothers. If that means they have to take the time and effort to get more technologically savvy then so be it.

If both sets of parents don’t create such an environment whereby children can identify (and, potentially more importantly, understand) boundaries, then the chances of these kids falling by the wayside are probably a lot higher.


As for those kids who have already stumbled, trying to get them away from such an environment is probably the best thing to do but that’s probably much easier said than done.

How difficult do you think it would be to ask an average teenager in the States (or wherever for that matter) to give up FB and the net for a day/week/month?

Maybe the answer to that question reveals the depth of the problem we have?


PS I do feel a bit sorry for Sr shareislam here since her thread has been totally hijacked!!! (I bet you never expected this number of replies when you first posted)  bro

I’m sure when all is said and done FB is probably like other modes of technology and can be beneficial as long as it used in the correct manner.


And Allah knows best.

Say: "O ye my servants who believe! Fear your Lord, good is (the reward) for those who do good in this world. Spacious is God's earth! those who patiently persevere will truly receive a reward without measure!" [39:10]
Halima
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 39
Halima is working their way up :)Halima is working their way up :)Halima is working their way up :)
Gender: Female
Posts: 1714



« Reply #34 on: Feb 05, 2009 09:03 AM »

Well, I am glad that the topic is totally hijacked!  Reading about FB's pros and cons in everyone's perspective is helpful because you realize that you are not the only one wondering about its merits whether you are parent or not.

As for me, my yonger son who is a teenager is there with his friends many of whom I know.  So are my nieces and nephews who are scattered around the world - Europe, North America, Australia and Africa.  My friends too, are all over the world. 

I sometimes cringe at what I see - like yesterday while on FB, I saw that a school/class mate of Haroun (my younger son who is 18) was using the "f" word openly!  It is the first time I have seen that on Haroun's profile.  I sent Haroun a message to his FB inbox urging him to tell his friends to use respectul language when posting on the wall.  I haven't seen any nude or ponographic photos yet, ALHAMDU LILLAH!

But I have noticed that teenagers and young people have their own way of communicating.  For instance, there is "Sheng Language" here in Kenya which is used in all urban areas and it is a mixture of English and Swahili.  Most kids, especially in Nairobi and Mombasa use it when they are talking infront of their parents and don't want the parents to know what they are talking about.  Now, Sheng is SMS, email as well as FB language.  My sons and his friends know that I am a little Sheng savy.  I have also told them that I am on FB so they better watch out!  It is just a scare tactic which has so far worked with those who know that I am Haroun's Mom.

What makes me uncomfortable is being on FB with my son, nieces and nephews.  I kind of feel as if I am intruding into a territory that is for young people.  I dread stumbling onto something that will shock the daylights out of me!  Luckily, I also don't check people's profiles unless I get a message or an invite to do so.  I just don't have the time to do that.

My eldest son was surprised that I am on "Social Networking Sites".  My response was, 'excuse me young man, I am not that ooooold!'  He burst into laughter and said, "I know, Mom.  Just pulling your leg."  Besides, I tried to avoid being on FB, hi5 and Reunion as much as I could but I was bulldozed into all by colleagues.  I hardly visit hi5 and Reunion and don't even remember my passwords for them!

On my FB wall, I found out this morning a message that reads, "Dont judge people if u dont know them!" posted by one of nieces here in Nairobi.  I was dumbfounded!  I called her and asked what she is talking about.  She was mortified because the message was meant for someone else and she errorneously posted it to my wall!  There are pitfalls on FB if one is not careful.

And last night, I saw on the news that FB is 4 years old yesterday and they showed the youngman who invented it.

When I am communicating with friends and colleagues, it is a lot of fun! 

The Almighty Allah says,

"When a servant thinks of Me, I am near.
When he invokes Me, I am with him.
If he reflects on Me in secret, I reply in secret,
And if he acknowledges Me in an assembly,
I acknowledge him in a far superior assembly."

- Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reptd by Abu Huraira
Fozia
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 124
Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 2659



« Reply #35 on: Feb 05, 2009 09:29 AM »

salam


Awww Sis Lala, don't bow out, debate is good.

In answer to your question, if I saw a pic of you with drink in hand I'd think it was juice of some kind. My little sister and her friends go to juice bars and drink all sorts of pretty looking virgin cocktails (which generally look better than they taste), I always think a person is doing right. So unless your holding up a bottle to your lips with the words Stella written on it, I'm not going to assume anything, other than you had a fun time out with friends!

I think it's very important to question or pull up somone when you see them doing wrong. I don't mean in an accusatory, mean or an angry hellfire and brimstone way, a calm rational way.

The example of the guy Sr Jannah questioned, the sheer fact that he got angry and defensive shows he has some hayah still, and the fact that Sr Jannah's questioning his actions made him angry shows he knows what he's doing is wrong. Maybe the message Sr Jannah sent him will sink in, maybe at some point it will help him change his ways, or at least make him stop and take stock of his life.

When everyone is busy minding their own business, and not questioning actions instead being neutral or laid back or cool, transgressions can become normal and people will stop feeling guilty, and that imo is wrong.

I've been born and bought up in England, I love england, its my home, but seeing what the 'it's none of my business' atitude has done to society makes me all the more adamant that I dont want that to happen amongst muslims, if we see something wrong we say something, we don't ignore it, we don't want wrong actions to become acceptable because there is no one around to exhort the good and forbid the evil.

A lot of the time I'm the lone voice in the room, but I do firmly believe that for evil to prevail all it takes is for a few good (wo)men to do nothing. For my own children I want them to be very aware of what is right and wrong, I'm not going to force them to behave in any specific way, but when they are grown women, I want them to have the hayah that muslims have which stops us from entering pubs and clubs, from dressing and behaving in a shameless unbecoming manner, because we just do not feel right doing it. I want their souls to stop them from transgressing upon themselves.

And I further want that exact same thing for all my brothers and sisters, I don't do the superior others must do this when my own home is in disarray, I want for my brothers and sisters in Islam exactly what I want for myself and my children. And anyone who knows me, will know that my children are my whole world.


Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
blackrose
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 3
blackrose has no influence :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 1649



« Reply #36 on: Feb 06, 2009 09:18 PM »


salaam
good points sis Fozia

first facebook divorce http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-weiner/the-first-facebook-divorc_b_164515.html
jannah
Administrator
Hero Member
*****

Reputation Power: 277
jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 7134


I heart the Madina


WWW
« Reply #37 on: Feb 06, 2009 10:06 PM »

wsalaam,

i've seen many people with drinks in hand at bars, holding BEER BOTTLES IN HAND...drinking FROM SAID BOTTLE IN PICTURE. I don't want to assume anything but there it is. it's not possible NOT to assume anything, just by the nature of it. i want to pretend i never saw it or that it's something else, but sorry, if i saw it, i saw it. it's better if people refrain from putting stuff like that up or put up a disclaimer like lala did, because ppl will assume. it's the nature of being human even if we shouldn't.

as for the kid... you'll notice he did exactly what any kid will do when an elder points 'his wrongdoing out to him'. he got mad, told me to mind my own business and shut me out. since that was the absolute last ditch effort after trying a lot of other things i don't mind. but that IS the reaction you will get.

and since you guys are parents and i've worked with kids of various ages on and off, i'll advise you. if you don't have a very good relationship with your kids they are going to be doing tons of things behind your back you will never find out about. the key is to have a good relationship, not spy on them on fb or expect others in the community to get involved and try to "stop them".

how do you have this good relationship? i'm not sure but the families i've seen where they do, seem to do a lot of things together, the parents are not judgmental and are very involved in their lives. they really try hard to teach them principles instead of just cultural actions and they also are good examples themselves of the values they want to give their kids. they also trust their kids a lot and prove it to them and they also punish and correct when necessary and are liberal at times.
BrKhalid
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 27
BrKhalid barely matters :(BrKhalid barely matters :(
Gender: Male
Posts: 1352



« Reply #38 on: Feb 08, 2009 04:53 AM »

Asalaamu Alaikum  bro


Quote
I want for my brothers and sisters in Islam exactly what I want for myself and my children


If only we could translate such sentiment to our leaders and to the Ummah at large.


Quote
they really try hard to teach them principles instead of just cultural actions and they also are good examples themselves of the values they want to give their kids.


Getting children and Muslims to do something because they *want* to instead of because they *have* to.



Say: "O ye my servants who believe! Fear your Lord, good is (the reward) for those who do good in this world. Spacious is God's earth! those who patiently persevere will truly receive a reward without measure!" [39:10]
JustOne
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 17
JustOne has no influence :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 543


« Reply #39 on: Feb 08, 2009 03:48 PM »

I don't know how to approach the facebook issue as an older sibling, much less as a parent (who knows what technologies will be around when my kid grows up).

My 15 yo brother has recently put up a facebook profile. It's agonizing to read the comments made by his friends (and friends of friends of friends - I have no idea when or how his social circle became so big and vulgar).  I don't even know how to approach the issue with him, because he has made it very clear that he could defriend me any time he wants to - just like two of my cousins have defriended our WHOLE FAMILY after someone approached their parents with news they'd discovered on the website. I would rather know, than not know - at least in my brother's case - because I feel it's my responsibility to make sure he grows up to be a good muslim. On that note, please pray for my brother in this very fragile age of his life.

Just like all things, fb can be (and is regularly) abused.  It gives me a bad taste in my mouth. Like Jannah said, it's not about assuming things about people.  It's not even about reproaching them - because often things are not black and white.

I guess my biggest problem is that it's such a waste of time, such an intrusion of personal space, and such a clear yet limited window into the lives of people I wouldn't have EVER come into contact with again if fb wasn't created (some old friends...but more of those that really don't make it in that category)

It feels like slurping a milkshake too quickly, and having to hold my head for a minute to wait for the brainfreeze to pass.

On how to raise good kids - good points jannah, but I just don't know. Sometimes parents do everything they can and it doesn't work out all the time. 
blackrose
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 3
blackrose has no influence :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 1649



« Reply #40 on: Feb 08, 2009 11:30 PM »

salaam

Quote
n how to raise good kids - good points jannah, but I just don't know. Sometimes parents do everything they can and it doesn't work out all the time.

soo true


at the end of the day .. I guess its all about personal choices. You can choose to be on facebook and you can choose your friends there. I mean seriously I think there must be more positive if people who dont even like it much are on it..no?
BrKhalid
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 27
BrKhalid barely matters :(BrKhalid barely matters :(
Gender: Male
Posts: 1352



« Reply #41 on: Feb 09, 2009 06:11 AM »

Asalaamu Alaikum  bro

I’m sure parents in earlier generations had anxieties over the bicycle when it came out and the fact that their kids wanted to ride their bikes and hang out with friends.

Is FB any different in terms of kids socializing, apart from the fact you don’t get the benefit of exercise in riding the bike?

The key question to both is probably who these ‘friends’ are and are they a good/bad influence on your child rather than the *technology* used to bring them together.


Quote
Sometimes parents do everything they can and it doesn't work out all the time

Then it’s just a case of making du’a and placing your reliance in Allah.

A du’a for your children by parents is one of the most accepted supplications in Islam.

Say: "O ye my servants who believe! Fear your Lord, good is (the reward) for those who do good in this world. Spacious is God's earth! those who patiently persevere will truly receive a reward without measure!" [39:10]
Halima
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 39
Halima is working their way up :)Halima is working their way up :)Halima is working their way up :)
Gender: Female
Posts: 1714



« Reply #42 on: Feb 09, 2009 08:33 AM »

Asalaamu Alaikum  bro
A du’a for your children by parents (especially fathers) is one of the most accepted supplications in Islam.

Really?  What about Dua's from Mothers?  Why especially fathers?

The Almighty Allah says,

"When a servant thinks of Me, I am near.
When he invokes Me, I am with him.
If he reflects on Me in secret, I reply in secret,
And if he acknowledges Me in an assembly,
I acknowledge him in a far superior assembly."

- Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reptd by Abu Huraira
blackrose
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 3
blackrose has no influence :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 1649



« Reply #43 on: Feb 09, 2009 05:44 PM »

salaam

Its actually another hadith sister Halima. ... I totally understand you asking though, I will be single mom soon
jannah
Administrator
Hero Member
*****

Reputation Power: 277
jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 7134


I heart the Madina


WWW
« Reply #44 on: Feb 09, 2009 07:05 PM »

Can we really compare facebook to riding a bicycle? In riding a bicycle I think the only harm that can come to your child is physical. FB is more like sending your child off to a local bar to get some cigarettes or to the prom with your full blessing. I think parents should have a rule "no facebook/myspace until you're 16". I'd also suggest heavy monitoring of all internet activities. There's just too much trouble they can get into, too many bad influences. The nature of the medium just makes it like that. I wouldn't send anyone in unless they were fully mature and prepared to handle it, and to be honest how old are we and are we able to handle all the influences on it?
tq
Sis
Sr. Member
*

Reputation Power: 18
tq has no influence :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 381


« Reply #45 on: Feb 09, 2009 07:40 PM »

Assalamo elikuim
I like Jannah's suggestion that no fb etc till 16(or may be 18,25- when do kids mature Smiley ?). But its so common now, one of my son's HS teacher has a fb account to keep student update on assignments,prj etc also most of the  youth acitivties e.g. MIST(Muslim Interscholastic tournament) ,volounteering at masjid,UN Model are organized through fb (this was the marketing tactic that my son used on me to let him have fb account Smiley). "Amma if I am not on fb I will miss all the projects and meetings Smiley " But then there are thousands of other thing on fb and internet that you dont want your kids to be exposed too.
Ideally we parents like to believe that whatever we are teaching our kids, they are following Smiley As a parent its very difficuilt to monitor everything and we cant be with our kids all the time, but we can and should monitor internet usage (plus who thier friends are  )- its not because we dont trust them but because we dont trust the whole world (tying the camel Smiley). Any parent would do everything in their power i.e. good tarbiyah to the best of their ability, open realtionship with them , monitoring to raise good Muslim kid - you want to protect your kids till their are mature enough. You dont want your kid to be the one kid who got lost in duniya at a immature age .
May Allah swt protect our youth and they grow up to be strong , Ameen.

Wasalam
tq

a_desert_rose
Sis
Sr. Member
*

Reputation Power: 0
a_desert_rose has no influence :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 310



« Reply #46 on: Feb 09, 2009 08:48 PM »


I'm for Jannah's suggestion too. I wish Facebook hadn't changed their policy to allow everyone to join.

I reckon kids should be allowed to join when they start university. But I don't think you can really prevent them can you? A lot of parents still don't know that something called Facebook exists and that it's a huge part of their children's lives. Pretty scary really.
BrKhalid
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 27
BrKhalid barely matters :(BrKhalid barely matters :(
Gender: Male
Posts: 1352



« Reply #47 on: Feb 10, 2009 04:57 AM »

Asalaamu Alaikum  bro


Quote
A lot of parents still don't know that something called Facebook exists and that it's a huge part of their children's lives. Pretty scary really.


InshaAllah, hopefully this thread will create some awareness of the pros and cons of being on FB.


I have to agree with Sr tq though on the fact that so many people/organizations use FB that it must be very difficult to not allow your child access without making him/her feel completely isolated. I guess that’s just one of those things you have to learn to deal with when raising children.



Quote
Can we really compare facebook to riding a bicycle?


Okay bad example, especially since I never learned how to ride a bike!! (yeah deprived childhood…no bike riding and lots of grammar bro)

The key point I was trying to make here, however, was that meeting up with friends on FB is not bad per se but it’s the type of friends you meet up with that cause the trouble.

Having said that, I’ve never been on FB so maybe just being on there (even with no friends added) is a bad thing???

Say: "O ye my servants who believe! Fear your Lord, good is (the reward) for those who do good in this world. Spacious is God's earth! those who patiently persevere will truly receive a reward without measure!" [39:10]
JustOne
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 17
JustOne has no influence :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 543


« Reply #48 on: Feb 10, 2009 04:43 PM »

On that note, facebook is A LOT better than some of the other networking websites out there.... (read: myspace)

16 is a bad age.  Maybe the university policy (like adr said) was the best.

Okay so... fb falls squarely center of the bicycle and prom, non?

Maybe all parents should join facebook, and should screen their children's fb accounts.  Hey - my mom still has my email passwords because of my 16 yo self who used to spend a lot of time on the internet. At the end of the day, maybe that's the only way to approach it.
Sr.Kathy
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 18
Sr.Kathy has no influence :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 632



« Reply #49 on: Feb 10, 2009 04:54 PM »

We have a family password... and a hubby wife password.
I have the password to all sites my son goes to.
My hubby and I have the password to each other emails.

"Allah surely knows the warmth of every teardrop... " Jaihoon
Pages: 1 [2] 3   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  




Powered by SMF 1.1.18 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines
GirlyMan Theme by Aku