thanks for posting this. i think over the ages we've had an unfortunate number of incidents with blame on both sides, people being quick to rush and judge others and write things that are offensive and also others being too sensitive and offended and leaving with dramatic flair. assumptions and sensitivities abound on both sides. who is in the wrong? i can't say, but i don't think the answer is leaving/not posting.
i think it's indicative of a greater problem in our ummah. our inability to deal with differences of opinion. when someone has a difference of opinion at their mosque, they rush and go off and start a new mosque. when they differ with their imam they go and find another one that will tell them the answer they want to hear. when someone posts an opinion different from what they personally believe here, they are extremely offended and leave.
i don't know... i don't think leaving is the answer, but to be honest if the person is that sensitive and is going to take everything people say on a message board personally, it won't be beneficial for themselves to be here.
honestly i say a lot of things and i know very few of you in real life. and even for the one's i "know in real life" believe me when i say there is nothing that i say that is personal. i don't know you and u don't know me. most of my actions are only with the benefit of the board in mind and sometimes those things might feel to be personal to some, when they're not. i know this may seem mean but sometimes i only see what is written not even the username or whatever. it's all pixels on a page to me.
i remember one time, a long time ago, maybe 8 years back, probably the worst incident, a sister, not muslim, kept posting certain types of things about her specific problems which kept getting worse and worse over a year. long, rambling posts that were disturbing. the consensus was that these were delusional/psychological ramblings which were very unhealthy for her. i know this is hard for people to understand who haven't studied psychology, but sometimes when we are in this rut of believing in all our own problems and delusions, it is unhealthy to let the person continue. in other words, she needed professional help and her writings here were only making her worse. others also wrote to us and told us she was saying certain things about real people that were found to be untrue. so i wrote to her and asked her to refrain from posting these types of things, for her own benefit. immediately, she was very upset AND WENT TO THE IMAM OF MY COMMUNITY and told him that we were spying on her/lying about her/reading her private messages/talking about her/being mean to her when she wanted to become Muslim etc etc. should have seen that coming with her sickness, but you know she believed everyone was against her and there was a conspiracy against her, she took everything as a personal offensive when the same would have been done to anyone.
i think also, sometimes new users who join the board and express their opinion about something and come up against opposition for the first time can also be very sensitive and leave abruptly because it's something they've never encountered before. when they were 'lurkers' all seemed ok, but when they joined it is abruptly something very hard to deal with opinions that are different from one's own. i think we had a case of this not so recently about something to do with 'islam in america'...can't remember but the person was extremely upset about the opinion expressed and left
ok... some ppl are even offended when i move their post to a different section!!
anyway my point is, perhaps i am bitter and delusional too, but nothing here should be taken personally. it's a message board, a forum, a community. we should be able to discuss and talk on a level where we are not so sensitive, offended or horribly defensive. we don't know each other and we shouldn't assume things and we shouldn't be so sensitive to what people say and assume in turn that the only way to solve it is to leave or not post.
so again i'm not posting this for anyone specific, just explaining my position that has been the absolute same from the very beginning.
i also ask forgiveness from those that feel i've transgressed against them. believe me when i say that has never been by intention. please, please, don't take anything personally.