// how to teach four yr old not to lie?
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Author Topic: how to teach four yr old not to lie?  (Read 2235 times)
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« on: Mar 07, 2009 11:39 PM »

what should be the punishment for a four yr old who lies. how do you teach a kid not to lie. I have taught him before but he did it again.

« Reply #1 on: Mar 08, 2009 07:05 PM »

peace be upon you

Get a tablet of Calcium Hydrate. Coat it with sugar. Give it to him to suck. As soon as the sugar has worn off, and he gets to the Hydrate bit, the taste will be so bitter that he will spit it out. Tell him this is what lies are like - sweet at first, but bitter very soon. If he soes not want to have a bitter taste in hs mouth forever, he better be careful with what he says.

That should do the trick.

Or threaten him with burning his tongue. My mother gave me that treatment when I used an abusive word I had picked up playing with the kids on the street. I was never able to express my anger and dissatisfaction in such words.
« Reply #2 on: Mar 08, 2009 10:08 PM »


I hold another view, with due respect to the previous poster...

I think kids can understand us and it is better to try to explain to them things without resorting to violence or threats of violence.  It is better than physical punishment because you  get to understand why the kid did what s/he did. 

Explain how lying makes you feel and that you might not be able to trust him/her in the future if s/he continues this ...
As for punishment, I would take something that they like/enjoy for a period of time.  Like a certain toy, or maybe no TV for a couple of days.    The kid is only 4 and I doubt that they can be malicious at such a young age. 

« Reply #3 on: Mar 08, 2009 11:56 PM »


the whole tongue burning thing can backfire -- when the kid realizes that s/he can get out of pain by telling another lie.

my mom had a strategy that worked well with us.  whenever we did something like this, she would "ground us" and then make us write a paper on why that action was wrong.

so like... if one of us lied, we'd have to sit in a room listing all the reasons why lying is bad/wrong.  she would give us the silent treatment for a whole day, and then discuss our list with us the next day... she'd be nice but VERY firm.

maybe 4 is too young for that though. i'd say it would be more effective for 7-12 yos.

« Reply #4 on: Mar 11, 2009 11:43 PM »

Asalamualaikum wrt wb,

All praise be to Allah.

A child who is four years old is not capable of differentiating right from wrong.  He or she is not accountable for his or her actions.  What is important for our children is to show them love and kindness, so that when they grow up they don't hate Islam or become rebellious. 

My advice to you is to show your child love.  When my daughter is naughty, I give her a hug, and she usually stops.  Kids just want attention.  If your child is continuously doing something wrong, it may mean that he is longing for attention and love.

The Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad, pbuh, was to be kind and loving towards children. 

And Allah knows best.
« Reply #5 on: Mar 12, 2009 10:17 AM »


Children will tell tales, it's part of growing up, for really little children, sometiems its hard for them to actually differnetiate between the complete truth, and what they want the truth to be.

My youngest sister once got up one morning furious and she went and punched my brother, she justified her actions by claiming he had hit her doll, she must have dreamt it but she was too young to realise that dreams aren't real.

Just tell him it makes you sad when he makes things up, that you won't be angry if he tells you the truth, and reinforce that you love him very much, always will.

When he's older maybe the essay writing thing will work, it sounds a very creative and memorable way of teaching a child to be truthful!

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