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Author Topic: Audio slideshow: Fatima's story (Middle East > Abu Dhabi)  (Read 2234 times)
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UBAB
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« on: Mar 27, 2009 04:49 PM »


Audio slideshow: Fatima's story 
Fatima contacted the BBC World Service citizen journalism project, Your Story, because she wanted to share her experiences of sexual abuse growing up within a strict Muslim family in Abu Dhabi.

She suffered many years of abuse before she finally told her mother what had been going on.

Fatima is now 26. She lives in the United States of America where she has just been given asylum and citizenship after establishing that she would be in danger if she returned to her home country.
 
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7966086.stm

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« Reply #1 on: Mar 27, 2009 08:44 PM »


I saw this. Although what happened to her was terrible, especially since it happened in a so-called Islamic country, I don't see why she had to drag Islam into it, and how it was only after she  'hung up' her Islamic beliefs that she could truly be happy and free. But then I suppose she wouldn't have been featured otherwise.
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« Reply #2 on: Mar 28, 2009 12:05 AM »

This is why I like posting stuff on this board - you guys are so smart and always see the big picture. 

Your heart will not truly open until you understand Surah 21 : Verse 92  (Al-Anbiya: The Prophets)

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mahla
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« Reply #3 on: Mar 29, 2009 09:28 AM »

Sallam
I expected to hear some understanding or sympathy from the Muslim community so that I would feel better knowing that what Fatima had said was exaggerated. But when I came to this site I felt otherwise. It seems what this girl was sadly saying is true.

Did any of you hear the interview itself? http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/documentaries/2009/03/090326_outlook_islamabuseconf.shtml

Now since your wondering why she even brought Islam up then let me clarify. She was told by an Islamic Cleric that she would receive lashes under sharia law and that she is not even considered a child abuse victim as a 15 year old.  Instead of wondering why her rapist father was not jailed or even prosecuted you go after her clothes comment?

If a country, family, and Deen turns their back on a 15 year old girl What is she suppose to feel? So you turned your faces over at the clothes comment? why not address the legality of abuse and why a man is not put behind bars immediately when he rapes his daughter?  Huh?
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« Reply #4 on: Mar 29, 2009 02:24 PM »

'At 15, she was told that she was classed as an adult and could herself be punished and subjected to lashes for committing adultery.'
(Taken from the link Mahla posted)

That is such rubbish.  Islaam protects innocents, it is the corrupt societies that twist its rulings.  She would not have been seen as having committed adultery-if someone says something, then Islaamically you have to take their word for it, unless there is evidence to suggest otherwise.  The fact that her mum got him to confess and he said he did it to 'make Fatima feel better and that it was all out of love', proves his guilt.  Unfortunately, certain societies hold certain mindsets which are difficult to change and they do not choose to follow the Islaamic rulings correctly.  Therefore it is not any wonder that the poor girl felt betrayed.  I'm not entirely sure if she's turned her back on Islaam, but if you can't differentiate between how your culture works (which is supposed to be a Muslim country and hence you'd imagine they'd follow Islaamic rulings) and how the religion works, then of course it's possible you will blame the religion because you don't have the necessary knowledge regarding how the country's culture and rules  differ to that of the religion.  It is these societies that should be held to account and forced to change how they deal with such issues.  No one should be allowed to get away with sexually abusing a child/raping an adult, and no one should *expect* to get away with it either.

Also, imagine if your mum got back with your abuser...subhanAllaah, how would you feel??  I can understand that societal pressures probably made the mum do this, but for crying out loud, stick up for your vulnerable, traumatised kid and support her.  How could you even continue to want to have a relationship with a man who has done this to your own flesh and blood??

'If he woke up and had enough food for the day and shelter (a roof over his head) and he does not fear for his safety, then it is as if he has been given the dunya.'
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« Reply #5 on: Mar 29, 2009 03:08 PM »

Sister Malha,

Thank you for your comments.

I have rereading all the posts of this thread to look for the word clothes. I could not find any. But sister Malha, the problems that are happening there are happening here in North America as well, with the same results - no justice.

I sympathize with sister Fatima with all my heart. In my second year, I was elected MSA president by my peers, and one the early issues that came was that a Muslim girl on campus was gang raped off campus. Rape is bad - gang rape challenges every molecule of your body to keep your faith. I couldn't handle the truth that at in our Utopian society of our university and meeting real Muslim men and women for the first time, could something happen to our beloved sister. And I knew her. I don't know how she survived - and I don't mean the attack - I mean afterwards.

Just from **hearing** her story just before exams times, from sleepless nights and unable to study I lost my year, went to councilors and phycologists and other doctors to cope and ultimately resigned as president.  I can barely write this - and over ten years have passed since the incident...

What did we do here to get justice? We went to the authorities here - but they said the case was weak - why? Because she didn't know the last name of her attackers, she couldn't remember all the details and any evidence of the gang rape was removed. We searched for months and months to find the last names - but to no avail - so no justice... in North America

I've know sisters here who's has a child as a product of rape. They feel pain every time they see their child because it's living reminder of the incident... again in the justice system - there was no proof of rape...because her word against his -so no justice... in North America
 
In Fatima's case, that monster confessed to her mother - at that point her mother should have gone to the authorities. that's it - plain and simple - so no justice in UAE

But talking about the past will not change the future - they will all get Justice from Allah on the last day.

Your heart will not truly open until you understand Surah 21 : Verse 92  (Al-Anbiya: The Prophets)

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« Reply #6 on: Mar 29, 2009 03:17 PM »

salam

My first instinct is to wait a bit before jumping into judgement.  These things do happen, I am sure.   And I would fully support this poor girl, even if she starts blaming Islam and society.  She is young and thinks that hijab and tradition are holding her from achieving her potential in that society.  Maybe she will mature and see things in a better light now that she is  more independent and living in the US.   Perhaps she will  see the real Islam  there  .. Allhu alam.

The bit I am not sure  about is why that man got away with it.  The judicial system in UAE is not that bad.  

Maybe her family did not want to draw controversy and did not reprot this to the authorities?  Some families in the middle east are like that, they bury their heads in the sand for fear that their reputation in society would be tarnished if something like this  is publicised.  

mahla
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« Reply #7 on: Mar 30, 2009 08:58 AM »

After reading your comments I wanted to post a few more observations,
In Islam we do everything to protect a woman against life's harms, however, all until a girl is raped or abused does the law regarding what is Islamic or not become less clear. So why is that.

If a girl and her aunt go to a Islamic cleric of the courts and ask for a solution then that solution should be to favor the raped victim not the rapist. The girl was told that she would be lashed, because she according to Islamic law is considered a mistress. So, why does this not outrage anyone more than the entire sad story?  Does this man need to be removed from his position?

If he is right about judgment then where is he getting this statement from and how is he justifying it?
The stepfather worked for the royal family so already all of you understand that he will be considered an untouchable, but again why would an Islamic country allow this to be?
This is not an issue about the west, because an American country took her in and gave her protection. In America a girl does not have to run away from her own country to escape lashes, no girl under any circumstance of rape or abuse will receive lashes under western law, so this is not about the west. 

We cannot deny what she was told by the courts of her country, or her family so we cannot call this rubbish or a mistake or compare this to another country based on a single case. But I did some research and it seems that lashing is a common practice justified by sharia in regards to rape.
This is another case I found from UAE about this ruling. 
http://secretdubai.blogspot.com/2007_01_01_archive.html
I'm deeply concerned especially that with what we know about child abusers, why aren't these countries not offering both the rapist, and the rape victim treatment.

What message are we giving to our daughters here, if your father rapes you then you will have to run away to be get help because your country and your people will lash you if they decide to help you?
 :'(
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« Reply #8 on: Mar 30, 2009 09:18 AM »

We cannot deny what she was told by the courts of her country, or her family so we cannot call this rubbish or a mistake or compare this to another country based on a single case. But I did some research and it seems that lashing is a common practice justified by sharia in regards to rape.

I have time and time again been told what I posted previously, and this fits in to my understanding of my beautiful religion.  So if someone chooses to punish a victim to the same extent as the perpetrator, that is not from the religion.  It doesn't even make sense to do so does it?  There are people who will and do twist the religion for their own desires, and it is extremely sad that people can no longer distinguish between this and what the religion actually states. 


'If he woke up and had enough food for the day and shelter (a roof over his head) and he does not fear for his safety, then it is as if he has been given the dunya.'
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« Reply #9 on: Mar 30, 2009 10:48 AM »


Quote
This is why I like posting stuff on this board - you guys are so smart and always see the big picture.

Why does that sound really sarcastic?  Wink


Maybe I'm missing something here but the article does not state anywhere that she and her mother consulted an Islamic cleric. It just says "Fatima was told by the UAE-based lawyer that under sharia law, it was unlikely she would get a favourable outcome from any legal action against her stepfather." All I'm saying is that the case seems to have been 'settled' within the family, so it's her family who is at fault here. Why blame it on Islam? If the judicial system under sharia law had proclaimed her stepfather innocent, then we start criticising the system. It seems Islam doesn't come into it anywhere, apart from the fact that her family was apparently religious and her lawyer advised her that the sharia courts would blame her.

Wassalam
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