Madinat al-Muslimeen Community

*


Login with username, password and session length

From the news...

This is how the world ends, not with a bang, but a day of judgement.


Pages: [1]   Go Down
Print
Author Topic: 22 Things to do in an Elevator  (Read 2604 times)
jannah
Administrator
Hero Member
*****

Reputation Power: 279
jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 7143


I heart the Madina


WWW
« on: Jan 20, 2008 06:10 AM »


 Old but Gold. -- J.

=====================

  1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air in there?”

   2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

   3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you’re embarrassed when
they open themselves.

   4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

   5. Meow occasionally.

   6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: “You’re one of THEM” - and back away slowly.

   7. Say - ‘DING’ at each floor.

   8. Say “I wonder what all these do?” And push all the red buttons.

   9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

  10. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: “I have new socks on.”

  11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: “Is that your beeper?”

  12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

  13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: “This is my personal space.”

  14. When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.

  15. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

  16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

  17. Hold the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say “Hi Greg,
How’s your day been?”

  18. Drop a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: “That’s mine!”

  19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

  20. Pretend you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

  21. Swat at flies that don’t exist,

  22. Call a “Group hug” then enforce it.
CountlessBlessings
Sis
Jr. Member
*

Reputation Power: 7
CountlessBlessings has no influence :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 94



« Reply #1 on: Jan 25, 2008 10:52 PM »

Classic!
Reminds me of this one (and I know there's a much longer version that I read and almost died laughing a year or two ago):

5 things to say to a telemaketer:

5. Say you are hard of hearing and see how loud they will shout into the phone.

4. Keep repeating, "I knew you were going to say that!"

3. Allow the telemarketer to fully explain his offer. When he is finished explain that his company hired you to randomly spot check telemarketers on their performance. Tell him that he did a good job overall, but that he is a bit monotone and needs to fluctuate his tone of voice more to sound convincing. He also should pause longer between sentences, and more clearly pronounce the letter 's'. Tell him you won’t report him if he repeats his speech to you with the appropriate corrections. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

2. Every few minutes repeat, "You’re going to have to bear with me, I have a slight short term memory loss problem, who is this again?"

1. Mid pitch, stop him and complement him on his wonderful voice. Explain that you are a voiceover scout and might have a breakthrough commercial job for him. Ask if he wouldn’t mind doing a quick test. Ask him to say in a deep husky voice "May cause dizziness, diarrhea, vomiting and shortness of breath. A small number of participants in a recent clinical trial experienced weight loss, irregular clotting, abnormally frequent and/or painful urination and hair loss. Results may vary
CountlessBlessings
Sis
Jr. Member
*

Reputation Power: 7
CountlessBlessings has no influence :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 94



« Reply #2 on: Jan 25, 2008 10:58 PM »

Google helped me find the one that almost killed me a while back lol
http://www.zefrank.com/donotcall/
um aboodi
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 26
um aboodi barely matters :(um aboodi barely matters :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 606



« Reply #3 on: Jan 26, 2008 04:25 PM »

salam,

very funny.  if you are a visible muslim though, try funny at your own risk, especially in an elevator.

take care
Sr.Kathy
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 18
Sr.Kathy has no influence :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 632



« Reply #4 on: Jan 26, 2008 11:53 PM »

The other side of the story...

I have to make a lot of phone calls now, selling for a bro's new company. I am a head hunter. flowersis
I am so grateful when they say "thank you we are not interested."
Then I get to cross them off the llist.
I am calling other companys- not homes- and I am shocked at how rude some of the employees are. More than once I have wanted to call their admin and tell them how their employee reacted to my question.

Just remember the people on the other line are just moms, or students working for minimum wage.
However...if they start going in for the hard sale- hang up on them!

"Allah surely knows the warmth of every teardrop... " Jaihoon
Saaima
Sis
Newbie
*

Reputation Power: 0
Saaima has no influence :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 27


« Reply #5 on: Jan 28, 2008 01:29 PM »

It was so good to read this again!  Thanks Jannah!  Cheesy
WhiteHawk
Sis
Newbie
*

Reputation Power: 0
WhiteHawk has no influence :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 27


Judge me this is who I am.


« Reply #6 on: Jan 30, 2008 06:53 PM »

This works for Muslim women mostly: put a thousand things in your pocket so they look reeeally bulky and walk funny and every three seconds look at your watch. HAHAH
Pages: [1]   Go Up
Print
 
Jump to: