// Child Custody - continuation from old board
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« on: Jan 11, 2008 02:44 PM »


 peace be upon you

The order for the custody is found in the book Minhaj-al-Muslim, written by the honorable shaikh and imam of masjid nabawi in Madina in his time,  Al-Jazairy, May Allah have mercy on him.  It is also found in other books of fiqh, like fiqh-us-sunnah by sayid sabiq.

     It is important that everyone make an effort to learn from the honorable scholars of our religion, and brush their personal opinions and views aside.

    Again, like mentioned previously, after the child reaches the age of discernment (7 years), the child chooses who to stay with. 

    The scholars say, according to the hadith of prophet Muhammed , "The mother has the most right for custody of her children, except if she remarries." 

      For the question, "Does the mother lose the custody of her children if she remarries?", The scholars say that if she marries someone that is close to the child, like the child's uncle, the child stays in her custody. If it is someone distant, then the custody moves to the next person in line. This is because the new distant husband would not have as much love and affection for the child.

      Some scholars say that if the new husband, though distant, gives permission for the custodionship, than the child can remain in her custody. There is also a minor opinion that the child remains with the mother, after the age of discernship (7 years), even if the child inclines to be with the father. Some scholars also say the custody passes to the next person in line, if the custodian moves far away from the rest of the family of the child.

     The custodianship refers to whom the child stays with during the night. During the daytime, the child stays with the father at work or office, and is always allowed to visit the parents. It is also forbidden to prevent any parent from visiting the child.     

     And Allah knows.


 :wsalam:
---------------------------------------------------------------

    Here is a copy of my old post:

 The scholars give the following order for preference for custody of the children:

1. Mother, as long as she has not remarried.
2. Mother's mother.
3. Mother's sister.
4. Father's mother.
5. Sister.
6. Father's sister.
7. Brother's daughter.
8. Father.
9. Grandfather.
10. Brother.
11. Brother's son.
12. Father's Brother.
13. Then the closest of the male relatives, and half brothers and half sisters.

     The custody should only be given to muslims, not to nonmuslims, as the scholars strictly prohibit this. The custodianship of a child does not remove the responsibility of support from noncustodians. The scholars also state the the child chooses who to stay with, after reaching the age of discernment (7 years).  The atmosphere and living conditions is also taken into consideration, and the matter should be brought in front of an Islamic judge to make the final determination.

     There is a vast amount of knowledge pertaining to inheritance and other  matters pertaining to Islamic rulings, and I would encourage you make an effort to educate yourself on these rulings. It is encumbant on everyone to follow the ordainments of Allah and His messenger , explained to us by the scholars, and not their personal opinions.  It is also encumbant on everyone to obey these ordainments given by Allah.

    And Allah knows.

May Allah increase you in knowledge.
Take a look at my site:  http://www.tajwid.info

Also a good site with several mp3 durus of beneficial knowledge from our ulema, fiqh explaining the book "bulgh Maram" , Q&A, http://www.imamfaisal.com
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« Reply #1 on: Jan 11, 2008 03:55 PM »

 peace be upon you

Hang on, have I got this right the custodian is the person the child stays with during the night only?? But during the day the child remains with the father...and goes to work with him..... what


Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #2 on: Jan 11, 2008 08:57 PM »

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[/This is because the new distant husband would not have as much love and affection for the child.

quote]

this is mostl likely not true,,, but I will see alot of and hear alot of bad stories about step mother, the father is not even there the most of the day.
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« Reply #3 on: Feb 19, 2008 09:19 AM »

 peace be upon you

    Honorable sister Fozia,

    That answer, about the child staying with the father during the daytime, was given by Imam
Nawawi, the great scholar and follower of Imam Shafee (May Allah have mercy on them), in their
time. This is so that the child learns the family profession and trade. By analogy, one could say that
the child in todays time would attend school.

    Honorable sister blackrose,

    I know that you have very strong feelings about a child being under the custodianship of
there mother at all times and situations, however it is encumbant on all of us to follow what
Allah and His messenger say, as explained by the scholars, and brush our personal opinions
aside. I can give you an example of a friend of mine that accepted Islam. Before accepting
Islam he used to love eating bacon for breakfast, and it was his favorite food. After accepting
Islam, he stopped eating the bacon, as it is prohibited in Islam. (He still though eats the
halal beef bacon.) Similar to this, it is encumbant on all of us to brush our personal ideas
and desires views aside, and wholeheartedly follow the the legislation of Allah, as
explained by the scholars. One should not at all follow ones personal opinions, but follow
what Allah and His messenger have commanded.

     Unlike other religions that are built on falsehoods, Islam is the truth as is ordained by Allah,
and one cannot add their personal views and opinions to the laws of Allah, and shape Islam
the way they see fit. One has to follow the legislation of Allah, and abstain from new ideologies
and philosophies that have no part in Allah's religion.

    All of us must accept the message of Allah completely and wholeheartedly, and convey that
knowledge to others. We should also invite our family and colleagues to the places
of knowledge so that they could all, as well as us, increase ourselves in the Islamic
knowledge.  Also if there somethings that is said by the scholars, that one may
not agree with, it is encumbant to accept and convey what the scholars say, and
disregard our own personal views, and instead convey what Allah and His messenger
say. 

     It is also encumbant on everyone to educate themselves and learn to ordainments of
Allah, and invite and encourage everyone to this education.

     That being said, I am not going to say any more of what the scholars say on this issue, if
one is not willing to listen and learn from it. They can do the research and learn on their own.

    And Allah knows.   
    :wsalam:

May Allah increase you in knowledge.
Take a look at my site:  http://www.tajwid.info

Also a good site with several mp3 durus of beneficial knowledge from our ulema, fiqh explaining the book "bulgh Maram" , Q&A, http://www.imamfaisal.com
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