// Don’t want to get divorce (continued)
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« on: Jan 22, 2008 12:15 AM »


 peace be upon you

from old board:

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 Aslamo-alakum
 Topic     Don’t want to get divorce
 
 I am 22 years old and got married 3 years ago. My husband is going to get marry in few
weeks with his girlfriend and wants to divorce me. I understand very well that he has the
right to do so.
My husband doesn’t have any physical or emotional relationship with me.
I do not want to get divorce because it will cause me and my parents so much trouble.
I would be all alone my self as my parents can’t really help me.
Few weeks ago I talked to my husband and he said he will keep both of us (2 wives) but
now he said that an IMAM said that he can’t do 2nd marriage unless he divorces me.
(Whether I know that Man has a right to do 4 marriages at a time)

My question is ………….
Is there any possible way in Islam that allows me to be with him as his wife especially
when he wants to divorce me?(In my marriage certificate neither I have right to
stop my husband to get marry any other girl nor a right of KHULA. My WALI filled my Nikah
certificate not I) My Maher was £10 according to Shariya(which was very less for him).
My husband didn’t pay my Maher yet. I told him the importance of Maher but he made fun
of it and not has paid yet but his mother gave me gold and other many things. I have
considered them things as my Maher and forgave the real amount of Maher. Is it right thing to
do ?
In fact I have a feeling that I am forcing him to not to divorce me. Is it right to do
so?? (I am so helpless I don’t have any other choice. When I talked to him I didn’t
force but requested him quite a few times.)

My 2nd question is…….
Is it very important to register NIKKAH?  Can’t my husband just do Nikkah with four
testimonies and a person who is able to read his Nikkah? Because infect His parents want
to prevent him of ZINA (sin). So isn’t it that Nikkah is more important than
registering it?

My 3rd question………..
Who could be a nikkah reader? Is that only IMAM and MUFTI could read NIKKAH or any body
else can do it which in not Imam or Mufti.

My Mother-in-law wants to introduce me with my husband’s girlfriend (after their
marriage) I want to seek Quran’s advice that How should I behave with my husband’s 2nd wife
and his daughter if he doesn’t divorce me?

I shall be very grateful if you reply me within week or two.
Please I really need guidance.

Thanks 
 

    Honorable sister,

    I can understand that you would want to stay with your husband because of his
financial support of you. The husband has to support his wife, according to the
Islamic law. However, if your husband divorces you, you could perhaps look for a
halal job on your own to support yourself. There are plenty of single working women 
in the U.K. that are financially independant, and it is allowed for you to work, according
to the Islamic law, and support yourself.

       In the meantime I would advise you to move on, and not keep attached to your
current husband, and perhaps look for another husband that obeys and is close to Allah.
There are many muslim women, including the wives of prophet Muhammed saw, that had been
previously married.

     You ought to go to the local masjid and talk to the imam, and his him to look for
someone for you. Try to find someone that listens and learns from the ulema, not
someone that is stubborn to follow his own opinion, and disregards the ilm; i.e. someone
that would be a good father. I am sure that the imam will find someone for you  that
is good and knowledgable, and that you will have a nice and happy family in the future
with many children, with ther permission of Allah. 

    For the questions that you have about Islam, you should speak to the imam of your
community, with all the important questions that you have about the Islamic law. However,
do not ask  useless questions, that have no pertanance or practicality.

   If you run into financial problems, the muslim believers are you brothers and sisters,
and will help you, as is commanded to them by Allah.

    As far as the Mahr is concerned, your husband has to give it to you, since he has
cohabited with you, and has no right to refuse to give to you or laugh it off. It is a debt
on him to you, and if he does not remit it to you, he will be responsible for it in front of Allah
on the day of judgement.

     And Allah knows.

     :wsalam:


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