// How Do You Deal With People Who Say Two Different Things/????
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blackrose
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« on: May 09, 2009 01:35 AM »


salaam'

This isnt the first time it has happened in life.

But how do you deal with these people?

How do you prove that they told you something totally different while they are telling someone else  something totally different
timbuktu
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« Reply #1 on: May 09, 2009 02:38 PM »

peace be upon you

ask yourself first if the time, effort and emotional energy is better spent on some other activity than showing up such persons for what they are.

I suspect this is probably your ex- or some so-called friend who is spreading falsehood about you.

Seek Allah's guidance, comfort and help:

recite:

Hasbunallahu wa na`ymal Wakeel

as much as you can. At least three times after every fard prayers.

Stay calm. If you are in a situation that warrants an explanation, do so with dignity.

There are times when a direct confrontation is best, but often it isn't. You have to judge.

What I have found is that it was better when I left it to Allah to sort out the falsehood. When I tried to take matters in my own hands, the results were not always the best.


JustOne
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« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2009 03:01 PM »

In what context?

I think most of us are prone to give a different picture to different people, depending on who they are and how closely related they are to the issue at hand.  But that said, most of us try not to spread false claims about others.

First off, if you're getting hurt by it, say "inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raajiun" , and then take a deep breath.

You need to ask yourself if its really worth "dealing" with. I mean, is it that important an issue for you (pick your battles, etc). If it is, then ask yourself that question again.  If the answer is yes again, then I think the issue is - is it an outright lie? Is it affecting your reputation in any way.  If it is, then you need to defend your character.  But do so with an air of calm, because often, one's mannerisms in dealing with something are more important than what one actually says.

Lastly, silence speaks louder than words. So does a raised eyebrow and the word "whatever".

P.S. bro timbuktu, you're in my head ... but you're so much more eloquent than I.
Sr.Kathy
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« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2009 06:38 PM »

Quote
Hasbunallahu wa na`ymal Wakeel

Translation please.

"Allah surely knows the warmth of every teardrop... " Jaihoon
Fozia
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« Reply #4 on: May 09, 2009 11:52 PM »

salam


Quote
Hasbunallahu wa na`ymal Wakeel

Translation please.

Allah suffices me and He is the best Helper.



Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
timbuktu
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« Reply #5 on: May 10, 2009 05:33 AM »

peace be upon you

The meanings of a Hadith

The Prophet (saw) and Abu Bakr (ra) were together at one place in Makkah (before the Hijra), when some non-believers came and started verbal abuse of Abu Bakr (ra). At first he remained silent but when the abuse crossed the limits of tolerance, he started to reply.

The Prophet (saw) left without saying a word.

When they met again, Abu Bakr (ra) asked the Prophet (saw) why he had remained with him during the abuse against his friend, but left as soon as he had started giving a reply.

The Prophet (saw) said:

When you were silent, there was an angel (or maybe more, it is timbuktu's forgetfulness) who had been assigned to reply on your behalf. When you started replying, he left, so I did too.

Who can give a more befitting reply? Us or an angel assigned by Allah (swt).

For every moment of silence in reply to abuse or spreading of falsehood, we gain merits which will come in useful in the Hereafter.


I saw my mother put up with a lot with dignity. She did try to get us our rights, but in a dignified way. She would never utter a word that could be hurtful, even to the most abusive of people. She herself did, and made us fulfill all the rights of others, even when they had clearly abrogated our rights, and had tried to belittle us in front of others.

To protect yourself, recite after every fard ayatul Kursi, Surah Ikhlas, and the last two Surahs: al-Falaq and an-Naas.

blackrose
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« Reply #6 on: May 10, 2009 07:20 AM »

Asalmualaikum

I honestly forgot I wrote this here.. I guess I meant to write this in the anon post.. oh well too late

Anyways you guys r so smart.. gr8 advice
optimisstt
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« Reply #7 on: May 23, 2009 09:21 AM »

salaam'

This isnt the first time it has happened in life.

But how do you deal with these people?

How do you prove that they told you something totally different while they are telling someone else  something totally different

Do not listen to them again but make sure the person who told you he/she is told some thing different is telling the truth
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