Ramadhan Kareem to everyone. I apologize about complaining, I really do...but I feel stuck.
I worked at this place for a little over three years, and I despised it. In order to keep myself from dying of anxiety, I decided to switch over to another department a little over four weeks ago. I searched on and off for other jobs this past year, as I finished school last year in August, and came to nothing. I was rejected from some jobs, and lazyness took over in other cases and I didn't apply for as many jobs as possible.
This job is at a collections call center, for mortgages. Since Friday I have been directly speaking to home owners, and it is so difficult for me. I spoke to a lady yesterday who kept asking me why the bank wouldnt just take her house away. She was an elderly woman who was struggling a lot financially because of the fraud her husband committed. I am sure she started crying on the phone, and at that point I felt extremely low. I couldn't do anything, and she can't do anything, but the calls will keep continuing and have been for the past two years, until her house hits foreclosure. I hate dealing with all of this.
I am not sure what I thought when I was getting myself into this position. I wanted out of my old position so I was running for this one w/out actually considering everything.
This is really just to vent and request duas. We all struggle, but the past couple of weeks I have come to such a low point, I cant breathe freely anymore and I can't finish a day without tears rolling down.
My father needs my help financially, so I can't just quit the job. I don't make that much to begin with, but the little I do make, makes my father feel rest assured that I can at least some what take care of myself and help out with a few bills here and there.
I know I am in this position only because of myself, and I can only get out of it by myself, but I don't know why I have this lazyness in me that keeps me from resolving the issue.
I just feel so tired and out of spirits.