// HAIR
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ba66ah
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« on: Jan 29, 2008 11:43 AM »


salaam

may Allah protect us from such idiotic behaviour: My cousin met a guy.... they decided that they wanna get married..but ofcourse the guy had to meet her family, etc. They came over , met her family.......4 weeks has passed and my cousin is till waiting for an answer...a proposal.

 The boys family is concernerd about two things :  Shocked the fact that my cousins hair is wavy- they said that the kids might inherit my cousins hair. and therefore would be stigmatised in the indian community in durban( s.A)......(2)they were not impressed by the area inwhich she lives in!!!and the house!!!!

wallah this is so disgusting.... they should be shot!!!!!
Coco Cola
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« Reply #1 on: Jan 29, 2008 11:51 AM »

 peace be upon you ba66ah,

I was reading through your post, i feel you are a bit to harsh. its common what happen to your cousin, i heard many stories similar to that. you should be happy for your cousin that she didnt get a proposal from them otherwise her kids may grow up with the same mentality. in all its a blessing  Wink  :wsalam:
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« Reply #2 on: Jan 29, 2008 12:31 PM »

As salaamu alaikum

Anytime I hear that something such as this is "common" I find it disturbing because it implies that people believe that their opinion and/or preferences are above what Allah has determined for someone.  Whenever we speak of the problems facing the ummah this attitude is often at the root of the problems and it is tragic.  Is there any wonder that so many people end up unmarried for so long and oftentimes when they do marry end up with someone who is totally incompatible but stay because it's better than being alone.

As salaamu alaikum

Fa'izah
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« Reply #3 on: Jan 30, 2008 09:38 AM »

slm

Quote
   the fact that my cousins hair is wavy- they said that the kids might inherit my cousins hair. and therefore would be stigmatised in the indian community in durban( s.A)......
    loopy

It should not matter what nationality / ethnicity / race / hair colour / hair shape and texture / eye colour etc. your cousin has and this is sad.  Insha Allah, may Allah swt guide her to someone who is much better for her. 

Quote
(2)they were not impressed by the area inwhich she lives in!!!and the house!!!!
  what

It appears to be nothing more than a feeble excuse to get out of the situation and hopefully your cousin doesn't take it too much to heart. 
peaceman
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WWW
« Reply #4 on: Feb 24, 2008 08:47 AM »

 peace be upon you

   Honorable sister,

    Prophet Muhammed saw told us that people look for certain criterias
for their spouse being, beauty, wealth, lineage, and faith. The appropriate
criteria one should look for in a spouse is the faith.

    One should observe how much a potential spouse loves the knowledge,
and the traditions of prophet Muhammed saw, and whether or not he/she
is averse to it. This would be an indication of how things would turn out in
the years to come. If a potential spouse is averse to the knowledge and
following the traditions of prophet Muhammed saw, one should pass
this person, and look for someone else that will obey the commands of
Allah, and make sure the family is learned about the deen of Allah.

   A person that loves knowledge will encourage the family to spend
time learning the ilm , and speak about beneficial ilm, not ignorance
and argumentation. The children would also grow to be on
the tauheed (oneness of Allah).

    And Allah knows.

 :wsalam:

   

May Allah increase you in knowledge.
Take a look at my site:  http://www.tajwid.info

Also a good site with several mp3 durus of beneficial knowledge from our ulema, fiqh explaining the book "bulgh Maram" , Q&A, http://www.imamfaisal.com
Shahida
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Hasbi Allah wa ni3mal wakeel!


« Reply #5 on: Feb 28, 2008 12:38 PM »

Salam alaikum

This is very common, unfortunately...may Allah swt guide the Muslims to overcome their unislamic prejudices!  Its hair this time, some times its money (often), sometimes its the wrong village that your great grandparents happen to come from, sometimes, its becuz you dont really *have* a specific village, sometimes it's cuz you're the wrong colour, meaning not as white as the snow with lips as red as bloodred roses (proverbial snow-white complex, I call it)....

Hajira, is that you?  You should register properly, yalla!

Hope things work out for your cousin. and if these people are so into how *wrong* she is for their son, then maybe she is wrong for him, i.e TOO GOOD for him. and may Allah give her someone better...

is she the one you live with?

Salam
S.
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