// Loss of an adult child?
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Anonymous
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« on: Sep 02, 2009 08:44 PM »


Assalam Alrikum,

It is now almost a year since one of my adult sons passed away suddenly. We do have other grown up children.

I know we should be more accepting od Allah's will and we do try. Our hearts are broken and both my husband and I are in a deep depression. My husband refuses to see a counsellor, and I am trying my best to cope.
Please can anyone advise re duahs etc, and please make duah for my son.
I have dreamt of him. Does this mean anything. Please let me know if there are any duahs we should read when we dream of him. This happened in Ramadaan last year.

May Allah grant him a place in Paradise. Ameen.

Salaaams.

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« Reply #1 on: Sep 14, 2009 09:23 AM »

Sister, as the mother of adult children, my heart aches for you and I pray Allah
comforts you and your husband. I don't know of any dua's to suggest.
Since there has been no answer to your post as of yet, I just wanted to let you know
someone cared. I cannot begin to imagine what you're been going through.May Allah make things easier
for you and your husband.
ume bilal
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« Reply #2 on: Sep 14, 2009 11:56 PM »

Salaam,
Thank You so much for responding.
You are so correct I was beginning to think that no one cared.I felt so alone and desperate trying to cope with the pain. It is always there.
May Allah bless you for having such a generous heart.
Once again my heartfelt thanks.
Salaams.
Umme Bilal.
timbuktu
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« Reply #3 on: Sep 15, 2009 04:49 AM »

AoA

sorry I did not see the original posting.

I can relate in some way. One of my brothers lost his daughter aged 14, and through the negligence of French surgeons. Another lost his son aged 22 through leukaemia which was diagnosed just one year before his death.

Allah giveth, and Allah taketh away.

Why?

Our lives on this Earth are very, very short. The real life lies ahead, and Allah (swt) knows best what is good for us.

---------
Meaning of a Hadith:

If a person loses three children in childhood, he/she is assured of jannah.
Even if it is two, or even one child.

This is for childhood. How much more ajr for sabr in the case of losing a grown-up child.
----------

The dua for loss (and particularly death of a close one), is

inna lillahe wa inna ilehe ra`jeoon
allahumma jurni fi musibati, wakhluf li kheiram-minha

Seeing the deceased in a dream good condition is a good sign. Insha`Allah your son is happy where he is, and you will enjoy his company in Jannatul Firdaws

May Allah grant you sabr, and finally reunite you with him in Jannah.

aameen

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« Reply #4 on: Sep 15, 2009 05:09 AM »

salam

I am really sorry for your loss, I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going thro. I didn't answer earlier because I was hoping someone knowledgeable would come along instead!



The Dua I know is this one;

Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'oon. Allahumma'jurni fi musibati wa akhlif li khairam-minha
Verily unto Allah we belong, and unto Him shall we return. O Allah! Reward me in my calamity, and grant me from it something better than that.


Umm Salama used to recite it when her husband passed away. They had both loved each other a great deal, when she remembered him, Umm Salama used to recite this dua, and even so she would wonder who would be a better husband then her husband had been to her. She later married the beloved Prophet (saw).

Also keep making dua for your son, a parents supplication for their child is very potent, may Allah ease your pain, may you be reunited with your son in Jananh tul Firdows.


Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #5 on: Sep 17, 2009 03:49 PM »

salaam

May Allah swt make it easy on you. You are going through a very hard time and so is your husband. Ask Allah swt to give you both 'peace' in your heart. Continually ask for that and you will be amazed.

My duas are with you
ume bilal
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« Reply #6 on: Sep 18, 2009 11:52 PM »

Assalam Aleikum,
Thank you all so much for your replies and Duahs.Your kindness is so wonderful. It is a busy time  of the year for all with Eid Preparations, nevertheless you have taken time to respond to  me.
It was in Ramadaan last year that my son passed away.
We are trying very hard to cope and accept, but it is not easy. With Allahs grace we will have Sabr.
The last ten/ fifteen years have been very hard for me, but losing our son is the hardest blow. May Allah grant him Jannat.
Will we meet again? We are told that at Qiyumat we will not recognise each other. It makes me so sad to think I will not hear his voice calling me again. Somehow I must try to be strong and carry on.

May Allah's blessings be on all of you. I hope you have a wonderful Eid.
Salaams to all.
Umme Bilal
timbuktu
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« Reply #7 on: Sep 19, 2009 07:09 AM »

peace be upon you
Quote
May Allah grant him Jannat.

Aameen


Quote
Will we meet again? We are told that at Qiyumat we will not recognise each other.

Insha`Allah you will meet him again in Jannah Firdaws. Indeed on the Day of Judgment we will all be busy looking out for ourselves, but that day will pass and we will meet our loved ones in Jannatul Firdaws.

I went away to the UK for 4 years. In those days a telephone was a luxury we did not have, so we did not have a verbal communication. That time passed. Your son is similarly at a place you two cannot communicate. But this will pass, too.

What you can do is keep doing your good deeds, ask forgiveness of Allah for him and yourself, and insha`Allah Allah will listen to your supplications and unite your family in Jannah.

aameen
ume bilal
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« Reply #8 on: Oct 04, 2009 01:54 AM »

Assalam Ailkum,
Thank you all for your kind responses and advice. It has helped me get through the anniversary of my sons passing. May Allah shower his blessings on all of you.

Ramadaan had brought many sad memories, as my son passed away on the 29th day of Ramadaan last year. I make Duah for him and ask Allah to keep him safe and to forgive his sins. Eid was very sad without him. May Allah grant him Jannat al Firdaws.
My husband has been completely broken by this loss, I am trying to look after him and help him to find strength. Please make Duah for my husband to be able to bear this as he has become so frail. I cry when he can't see me. May Allah give us all sabr.

Which is the best Surah to read for my son to be free from the toment of the grave? At present I read Surah Yasin.

MashAllah I have some good news on the third day  of Eid a litttle daughter was born to my eldest son and his wife. There first child. She is so beatiful.
They have given her the Name Leilah, not sure which spelling thay will eventually choose. I prefer Layla, but leave the final decision to them. While she will not replace the son we have lost, it is something else to focus on. A gift from Allah.
My daughter in law has not converted to Islam, therefore I must be very proactive and set a good example to the little one. May Allah guide my daughter in law to Islam.
You are all in mu Duah. Once again may thanks.

Salaams to all.
Umme Bial












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