// Impact of culture on the choice of abortion
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Hard2Hit
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« on: Oct 01, 2009 02:52 PM »


Salaams,

Consider this scenario - A girl marries someone by choice, then has a tough time with her husband who is abusive and also asks her to support both herself and him as well by getting money from her parents. She tries to correct him but doesn't succeed, and in the meanwhile she gets pregnant, and soon after conceiving she realizes that her husband wont ever correct himself and she and her offspring would be in dumps for life. And finally decides to file divorce.

This girl is not even 20 yet and no man would take her as a wife if she gets divorce and gives birth to the child she is pregnant with, because thats how her culture works. Now, given everything, would it be permissible or acceptable if she goes for abortion ? also considering that a single girl can not survive on her own in the same culture ?

Also, I've gone through the fatawa at sunnipath, according to them its only permissible if it poses a threat to girl's life literally. But the threat i'm talking about here is not her death, but the misery that she'll face for being single in rest of it.

The choice is between killing a foetus or the girl living single and in misery at the hands of society, for the rest of her life. She is 10 weeks into pregnancy.

The knight doesn't wait when he's ill or has cancer brother, the knight fights on... He finds a strategy, changes tactics, and hits hard.
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« Reply #1 on: Oct 01, 2009 04:11 PM »

Salaam,

I can't give you laws or rules of Islam, only insight from what I believe.

I don't see how killing the fetus will solve anything. Where is her trust in Allah. In most situations where a woman has had an abortion there is long term regret and sadness. Unfortunately I know this because I have a friend who had an abortion after she divorced her abusive husband because she did not want anything to tie her to this man. It has been 5 years and she is having major issues with herself and what she did. When she sees my daughter who is 5 sometimes she leaves and cries saying I could have had a son or daughter that age. Only Allah knows what this child will grow up to be. Let me also say, there is no joy greater than a child. It is greater than any husband. She will never be alone. Times are also different, we do not know what the future holds, she may not be single forever. If a man is a true Muslin, he would understand the situation and see the courage she had to make the right decision. I myself, would never want to hear Allah question the child I killed by staying, Why were you murdered what was your crime?  I know it is hard and we all have extreme burdens. but in the end we follow Islam. Allah give us struggles for 2 reasons.... 1. to hopefully get us back on the path, with punishment or 2. to elevate our status. The baby did not ask for this. Allah creates life, who are we to unjustly take it. The child is an innocent.

I was a single mom for 2 years before I remarried, I thought I never would get married again. Who wants a 32 yr old with 2 kids and the emotional baggage that comes with it. But Alhamdulillah, Allah provided.

I would tell her to be patient. Perhaps Allah will sends her a great child who will do many great things in this world, including taking care of their mother. Like I said there is no greater love than that of a child.  So given the scenario, I would hold strong to my faith.

Allah knows best.

I believe in Islam like the sun rising, not because I see it but because by it, I see everything else.
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« Reply #2 on: Oct 03, 2009 12:39 PM »

salam

I cannot give a religious ruling regarding abortion either.

However common sense says this.

Firstly Allah is the one who gives rizq, we do not kill our children for fear that we will be alone or poor, because frankly you and I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, maybe this child will be great source of happiness and fulfillment for her.

I have a friend who is Pakistani, her cousin ended up divorced at a very young age too, she had one little girl. At one point a boy and his family came to this girls house to see another girl of the family for marriage reasons, the boy met cousins little girl, and the little girl was talking to him telling him he must come visit her etc, chattering away to him as little children will. The boy went home with his family and sent a proposal to the mother of the little girl!
They got married and when the little girl was about twelve they told her that the man was not her father, she refuses to accept this, as he has treated her with as much love if not more as the children he has had with her mother.

At the end of the day it's the mothers decision, she has a fatwa, she has her common sense, she is old enough to know that she conceived this child willingly.

An abortion isn't as easy as getting rid of an unwanted pregnancy, she's going to live with the consequences of her decision one way or the other. How will she personally feel about an abortion after the fatwa you have printed? An abortion doesn't end with the pregnancy, for a lot of women the guilt and sorrow leaves a lasting impression.


Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #3 on: Oct 30, 2009 03:26 AM »

as salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah,

I discussed this post with a graduate of a college of Shariah in Syria (who is also my brother Smiley) and while he said that a proper ruling can not really be given unless the whole situation is understood with all of its details, he mentioned a few points that I found beneficial:

-- Shaykh Said Ramadan al-Bouti, hafidhahullah, said that life begins at the very moment of conception, though it is not completed until the soul is blown into it at four months time.  So the hurmah [prohibition] of taking the baby's life is from the time of conception, and the hurmah increases as the pregnancy continues, and takes on the status of 'murder' once the soul is blown into the fetus.  Therefore, except in extreme circumstances such as in cases of rape, or when it is established that there will be definitive harm to the mother, taking the life of a fetus is not permitted, for the same reason we are not permitted to take any individual's life.

-- An interesting point he mentioned was that even if such circumstances occur in which abortion becomes an option, there must be consent of *both* parents before it can be done (except in cases of rape of course).  This is a right of both the mother and the father.  This is even the case with the use of contraceptives - it must be agreed upon by both mother and father since it is dealing with the life of offspring.

-- Along with this right that the father has, he also has certain responsibilities, and he has to be reminded of his responsibilities.  These include providing for and caring for his child, as well as the child's mother as long as she is breastfeeding even if there is divorce.  If he is not doing so she has the right to go to the court and demand her rights (though how realistic this is depends upon the country she is in – however most Muslim countries, at least in their family laws, have some sort of shariah based law system).  If this recourse is not successful, and the father cannot be relied upon to give the woman her due rights, then it is something upon him that he will be held accountable for on the Day of Judgment. Her family, especially her father and brothers, must step in and help take care of her and her children.

-- In two places in the Quran it states that one should not kill one’s children out of fear of poverty; “And do not kill your children for fear of poverty; We give them sustenance and yourselves (too); surely to kill them is a great wrong.”

“Say: Come, I will rehearse what Allah hath (really) prohibited you from: Join not anything as equal with Him; be good to your parents; kill not your children on a plea of want;- We provide sustenance for you and for them;- come not nigh to shameful deeds. Whether open or secret; take not life, which Allah hath made sacred, except by way of justice and law: thus doth He command you, that ye may learn wisdom.”

This seems very applicable in this case.  One must have tawakkul on Allah (swt) and remember His beautiful attributes as ar-Razzaq (The Provider), al-Kareem (The Most Generous), al-Mughni (The One who Enriches), and the One who satisfies all needs and takes care of His servants.

-- Also we as a community must understand that divorce is not anything to be ashamed of and that such women should be treated with equal respect and honor as anyone else.  Many of the sahabiyaat were divorced and the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) himself married a woman who was divorced – Zainab (radiAllahu anhaa).

-- One final point from the fiqhi perspective: Yes it is true that “a fatwa may change according to time and circumstance”; but that is only the case with a fatwa that was originally established based on a particular social or environmental context.  If the original ruling was not based on such things, then culture, environment or personal circumstances do not have an effect.

For example: if marriage was deemed impermissible for an individual because of his situation (not being able to provide for his wife, financially or otherwise); but in later times these issues were resolved, then the prohibition on his marrying may be changed to make it permissible.  

However, if a man has four wives and wants to marry a fifth one, even if he is a particular circumstance which makes him want to marry a fifth due to temptations in the environment etc, it is not permissible for him because of the established texts that prohibit it.

Allahu a’lam

--- Just wanted to add a nice point that Imam Suhaib Webb made on his blog a while back:

"Our history if filled with a number of very powerful, erudite SINGLE mothers:

1. Hajar
2. Amina, the mother of the Prophet [sa]
3. Um Salaym [the mother of Anas would latter marry Talha]
4. Um Salama [would latter marry the Prophet [sa]
5. The mother of Imam al-Shafi
6. The mother of Imam Ahmed
7. The mother or Imam al-Bukhari

The list could go on forever.

SDW"


Wasalaamu alaykum,

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