// Termination of pregnacy
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« on: Jan 02, 2010 03:51 AM »


Salaam,
I have wanted to post this for sometime.

If any sister is faced with the possibility of pregnacy, I implore her to refuse, unless in the situation of rape.

More than 25 years ago I had a termination of pregnacy, this came about due to there being a possibility of some medical problem. However we were also in a difficult financial situation at the time with a heavy debt. I allowed myself to be persuaded by the doctor and a close friend that this would be the best decision for all concerned. I am sure that had our situation not been so bad I would have looked deeper into the medical side and really see what the risks were.
Although the pregnacy was very early aprox. estimated at anything between 5 to 7 weeks. Only one menses missed but pregnacy test was positve, it was still a life. The guilt has tore me apart all these years, and I live in fear that Allah will take the life of one of my children as punishment for this terible thing that I have done. I repent but do not know what I can do for Allah to forgive me.
My message is to anyone out there do not do it unless there is no other option. I cannot even console myself that it was well ahead of the 120 rule, as not every sheik agrees on this. There is no duah I know of that I can read to help me and ease my sufferring  regret and Guilt. I as all to make Duah that Allah will forgive me and ease my torture. May Allah forgive me. So please please do not do not do it.

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« Reply #1 on: Jan 02, 2010 11:44 AM »

salam


I can understand your anguish, however I would imagine each woman will consider her own situation before deciding on a termination or otherwise of a pregnancy.

You know there was a sahabi, who during the jahaliyah period killed his daughter. Because the Arabs in those days used to dislike female children, they would bury them alive, this sahabi did exactly that to his daughter, many years later after he had embraced Islam he still wept at his actions and begged forgiveness of Allah swt.

There is a passage in the Quran which goes something like, Kill not your children because of poverty – We provide sustenance for you and for them.

As for duas I think this might help;

Transliteration: LA HOVLA WA LA QOOVATA ILLA BILLAHIL ALIYIL-AZIM
There is no power and strength except with Allah, The Grand, The Great.


Also if I were you, go and consult an Imam who follows your school of thought, about the validity of the length of time passed before you terminated your pregnancy and stick to that ruling, doesn't matter what other arguments there might be out there, you cant follow all rulings of all schools of thoughts, just stick to the one.

There's nothing you can do about the past, repenting and meaning it, and resolving not to repeat your mistake is as much as you can do, and Allah is the most merciful.



Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #2 on: Jan 02, 2010 04:14 PM »

As salaamu alakium, sister I can see that this is a painful situation for you, like most of us when we have situations that are emotional in nature we tend to decease in our Iman a little and I say that because we underestimate the Mercy of Allah. Allah says in the Quran surah 39:53 translated by Mohsin Khan
Say: "O 'Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! despair not of the Mercy of Allah: verily, Allah forgives all sins. Truly He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
Surah 3:135 and 136 translated by Mohsin Khan states:
And those who, when they have committed Fahishah (illegal sexual intercourse) or wronged themselves with evil, remember Allah and ask forgiveness for their sins; - and none can forgive sins but Allah - and do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know. For such, the reward is Forgiveness from their Lord, and Gardens with rivers flowing underneath (Paradise), wherein they shall abide forever. How excellent is this reward for the doers (who do righteous deeds according to Allah's Orders).

For us as Muslims we know the Qada of Allah has already been determined so all we can do is put our trust and faith in Allah, let it go and know that His promise is true. I believe a helpful dua is:
 
Allahumma lakal-hamd. Anta qaiyimus-samawati wal-ard wa man fihinna. Walakal-hamd, Laka mulkus-samawati wal-ard wa man fihinna. Walakal-hamd, anta nurus-samawati wal-ard. Walakalhamd, anta-l-haq wa wa'duka-l-haq, wa liqa'uka Haq, wa qualuka Haq, wal-jannatu Han wan-naru Haq wannabiyuna Haq. Wa Muhammadun, sallal-lahu'alaihi wasallam, Haq, was-sa'atu Haq. Allahumma aslamtu Laka wabika amantu, wa 'Alaika tawakkaltu, wa ilaika anabtu wa bika khasamtu, wa ilaika hakamtu faghfir li ma qaddamtu wama akh-khartu wama as-rartu wama'a lantu, anta-l-muqaddim wa anta-l-mu akh-khir, la ilaha illa anta (or la ilaha ghairuka).
(O Allah! All the praises are for you, You are the Holder of the Heavens and the Earth, And whatever is in them. All the praises are for You; You have the possession of the Heavens and the Earth And whatever is in them. All the praises are for You; You are the Light of the Heavens and the Earth And all the praises are for You; You are the King of the Heavens and the Earth; And all the praises are for You; You are the Truth and Your promise is the truth, And to meet You is true, Your Word is the truth And Paradise is true And Hell is true And all the Prophets (saw) are true; And Muhammad (saw) is true, And the Day of Resurrection is true. O Allah ! I surrender (my will) to You; I believe in You and depend on You. And repent to You, And with Your help I argue (with my opponents, the non-believers) And I take You as a judge (to judge between us). Please forgive me my previous And future sins; And whatever I concealed or revealed And You are the One who make (some people) forward And (some) backward. There is none to be worshipped but you . 'Wala haula Wala quwata illa billah' (There is neither might nor power except with Allah). (Book Bukhari 21:221)

May Allah forgive us all and grant us Paradise (Allah knows best)


LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR THE SAKE OF ALLAH:
IF IT'S NOT FOR THE SAKE OF ALLAH IS IT EVEN WORTH DOING?
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« Reply #3 on: Jan 02, 2010 09:34 PM »

wsalam,

In the case of medical problems with the mother it's allowed almost by all. Even at birth, if the doctors have to choose between who to save, the mother or the baby, they are supposed to save the mother! because inshaAllah she will have more children (like you).

After reading Fozia's post I am inclined to think that is a very good way for you to go about it, otherwise I think you'll always be feeling some guilt and tortured even if some Faqihs said it was fine. Look into the medical details and ask some Muslim doctors about the case and bring that information to your religious scholar.

Allahu alam. If you still feel some guilt and feel you have sinned, follow the steps of repentance and believe that Allah will forgive you inshaAllah.

[Yusufali 39:53] Say: "O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
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