// pride or weekness of character?
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Sr. Member

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« on: Dec 09, 2009 01:44 PM »

I have something to confess for my benefit and share for the benefit of others. When I was a young girl  (not good in studies and not well off) I often came across people who behaved nicely towards me when i met them privately and their behaviour changed and they ignored me when I met them in public. It use to hurt and I thought they were proud of their superiority. As I grew up I started taking my studies seriously, topped the class and actually began to be among the respectable ones.....a few years down the line I got married to a person whose job and status is considered respectable in our society. Now I was at a privilaged position and I came across peopleleser than me (i status, money, education) towards whom i behaved well in private but was embarassed to acknowledge association with them in public where those people were present who were still better than me.
It was then that I realised that all those people who were embarassed to acknowlwdge me when i was inferior to them did that not because they were proud of themselves but because they were themselves feeling low againt others and did not have the courage to associate publicly with a person with whom they had privately associated well.
I forgave them, and pitied them, and i pray to allah to give me the courage to behave with equality with all people in every situation and not feel lowered by associating with people who are less privilaged. And this will happe only when i stop being in awe of others who are better than me. Please pray for me, because this i feel will really displease Allah if I dont change.
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JenBean71 has no influence :(
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« Reply #1 on: Dec 09, 2009 04:49 PM »

Asalam alaikum,

Well, think about it. All of your success is due to Allah alone.
Nothing is possible without Allah (Subhanahu wa t'Ala).
So say,  "Alhumdulillah".
Spend some on the poor, buy food, shelter for those that cannot.
Because what you currently have, in wealth or children, or spouse
could be taken away in less than a second.
You know this, right?
And the people you currently look down upon
Allah may have willed to enter a higher level of Jennah than you!
Maybe the tables turn and you lose everything. We don't know this.
Whatever social constructs that exist for you are only illusions. We DO know this.
and of course Shaytan loves people strive for dunya. This is known too.
and those who worship money and status
Those are the kinds of people to stay away from
because they have a disease of the heart.
Compare yourself to the richest in the world
for a reality check of how poor you actually are.
What are you spending to help the poor again?
Or just wasting time comparing yourself to those who have less.
It's only low self esteem that makes people do that
make du'a you don't lose what you have
because of arrogance, inshaAllah.
If you dont have much, say Alhumdulillah
If you have a lot, say Alhumdulillah
Allah knows best.

The unity of all, perceptible to even bystanders, is the Oneness that inspired it, a sea without shores, subject me to this sea.
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BrKhalid barely matters :(BrKhalid barely matters :(
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« Reply #2 on: Dec 10, 2009 06:40 AM »

Asalaamu Alaikum  bro

Because what you currently have, in wealth or children, or spouse could be taken away in less than a second

Very true, it's the *use* of these provisions that we will be judged on and not the mere possession thereof.

Say: "O ye my servants who believe! Fear your Lord, good is (the reward) for those who do good in this world. Spacious is God's earth! those who patiently persevere will truly receive a reward without measure!" [39:10]
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« Reply #3 on: Dec 10, 2009 07:38 AM »


JazakAllahu kair for your confession for our benefit. When we are in a good position we have to remember I guess to treat everyone equally. I have always tried to do that alhumduliah

On the contrary, since I have come back to my 'hometown' I am not in the same 'good' position I was bc my status has changed I guess. There have been those who treated me well but they are not from the 'popular'
And there are those who left me out on purpose which I'm telling you hurts a lot. These people I remember at one time were in a 'low' position at one time. So It seems to be a pattern when you are left out during your time and when things get better for you, you do to people what was done to you. Even though you know how it feels.. Khair I don't know why these people are doing this. Although I can tell myself that it doesn't matter to me, it honestly does hurt. Maybe they think they are better than me.  Maybe they are. Allahualim. ..
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peace barely matters :(peace barely matters :(
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« Reply #4 on: Dec 11, 2009 09:16 AM »

Sister blackrose , you are right, its a pattern......because human nature is like that.......and it needs alot of thought, consideration and confidence in self to be able to overcome this deficiency of nature which is common to us all. And that is what thw reward is for by allah.
It is all apart of the test....lets strive for the best score!!!!
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