Encouragement for HijabisWhy you shouldn’t stop wearing Hijab…
So here are the common things that people say when they want to take off Hijab and some things that I tell myself that may help you:
(think of it as the Naf’s arguing with each other
*Note that this is for those wearing Hijab currently and thinking of taking it off, not others. NOT for those who have already taken it off, are thinking of wearing it, or are not able to wear it yet – this doesn’t apply to you and that’s a whole other article… maybe a part 2-18?
**Btw as an aside, some sisters who don’t wear Hijab have been some of the best Muslims I know, but the below still holds.
-I don’t think Hijab is obligatory.
Hijab is obligatory (Fard) according to all 4 schools of thought. There is consensus among all the scholars that it is part of being a Muslim. Just like Salah in Islam, not performing it is sinful, but not doing it out of laziness or weakness does not make you a non-Muslim. The only problem is when we say Salah is not part of Islam or that Hijab is not part of Islam. Both are Fard items and we should be careful not to go against all the normative teachings of Islam in this way. There are people out there who claim that it’s not obligatory (who also claim they are scholars) and even tons of laypeople who think they can interpret everything on their own, but there are tons of rebuttals and refutations of those so look those up when you have time. If you need detailed proof of why Hijab is obligatory look up an Imam or scholar near you
(The rest of the information here is predicated on the last one. If someone doesn’t believe it’s obligatory then there’s really no point in wearing it, is there!)
(Also as an aside, sometimes we can feel a lot of guilt and pressure about not wearing it so when we see an “opinion” that we don’t have to, we might want to latch onto that or try to make our own interpretations. This might even be a wholly unconscious process on our parts as well. So it’s good to be careful and refer Islamic Aqeedah issues to knowledgeable sisters and brothers. Not doing something is one thing, but declaring something not part of Islam is another!)
-Hijab is from the Persians and cultural, not really a part of Islam.
Again, it’s good if you look up the proofs of why it’s obligatory in Islam. While Islam does allow a lot of leeway for culture, to make something obligatory in Islam is something else. Islamic law takes precedence over culture. Ask a knowledgable Imam or scholar in your area for more info.-What’s wrong with just being modest?
Everyone’s opinion on modesty is subjective. One girl might believe jeans and a shirt is modest, while another might believe a knee-length skirt is modest and another might think covering the essentials on a beach is modest! Again Islam came with guidelines from our Creator. If we believe in our Creator, we know that He has sent down Guidance out of His Knowledge of how human beings act or think. Hijab is good for society and for us. The actual exact reason for Hijab is really not known to us. There could be many reasons (physical, spiritual, psychological) and us thinking that ‘it’s just about modesty’ might not be doing justice to why it was made Fard for us.-I’m getting more attention from guys/men wearing Hijab, so why should I wear it?
It’s true that in the West, Muslim women get more attention, stares and so on from people while wearing Hijab (sometimes in Muslim countries too!), but in truth Hijab is not there to cover us up and make us invisible. One of the things mentioned in the Quran about Hijab is “so that they may be recognised and not annoyed.” Quran 33:59-I was doing Hijab for Allah before but now I’m doing it for other/cultural reasons.
This can happen to a lot of us. We start out wearing Hijab for the right reasons but then down the line our intentions can change and we might be doing it for the people around us, or peer-pressure or even for a husband or any number of wrong reasons. What I’ve learned from scholars is even if your intention changes or if you don’t feel like wearing it anymore, you should continue. Just like if you feel like you’re not getting anything in your Salahs and want to stop, you shouldn’t stop. Just continue and keep asking Allah for guidance. InshaAllah eventually the sweetness of faith will come back to you and will make it a beneficial rewardable thing for you. At least you are lifting the ‘obligation’ from you by continuing to do it even if you feel you’re not getting anything from it.
- I don’t feel like I’m a good enough Muslim to wear it anymore.
Were we ever perfect Muslims? Will we ever be a perfect Muslim? No I don’t think so. We are always striving to reach our potential as worshipers of God. Sometimes we aren’t so good, sometimes our Iman is low. That doesn’t mean we should end all the good things we are doing currently.--I’m misrepresenting Islam by wearing it because I still do bad things.
I asked a Shaykh this question and he mentioned that, first of all, this a noble and good thing to feel. We don’t want to misrepresent Islam. But no one is perfect, he said. We should do it and try our best to be a good example. In something else we might weigh the probable consequences and harms but Hijab is obligatory. It’s just like if someone says I’m not good enough to pray, so they don’t pray! A general principle in Islam is that we shouldn’t give up all of, from that which is good. In other words, do whatever good you can do. Allah will help us.- I feel ugly wearing it and need a boost in self-esteem.
We all know how you feel. We have our bad-hijab days too
While taking off the hijab might give one a rush of feeling ‘pretty’ or ‘modern’, true self-esteem comes from valuing your inner self. Let’s stop being dependent on our outside and find our true inner confidence.-No one will marry me while I’m wearing it.
Yeah I feel you. But there are good brothers out there who are specifically looking for a wife that wears Hijab. And take a look at all the Hijabi girls you know who are married. So don’t worry ;-)-Muslims expect me to be a really good person.
And that’s a bad thing? j/k
Are you saying it’s ok to be a bad person then if you don’t wear it? It’s true people will judge you if you wear it, and some people will judge you if you don’t wear it. In the end, what’s most important is what is pleasing to God, not to people.-I’ll wear it again later when I’m a better Muslim.
Again, this feels like an excuse to just not wear it. Why not continue to wear it and try to be a better Muslim instead?
- I feel like I’m losing my sense of self as a woman and my femininity.
You can still be your own woman and person wearing Hijab, if not more so. People still see you. You don’t need to lose your femininity. You can still look feminine, clean and nice wearing Hijab. Hijab isn’t meant to hide you from society. It is a way of making society function with respect. You don’t have to feel like you are wearing a black sack everyday! There are so many lovely styles and ways to wear Hijab. You can choose a look that is right for you and is still Halal.
-I think I’m just as good a Muslim without it.
Really? So we’re just as good a Muslim if we don’t fast in Ramadan or we don’t give Zakat or don’t do other Fard things? We’re just as good a Muslim if we don’t do even recommended things like charity or Sunnah prayers? Doesn’t make sense!
The more good you do, recommended and obligatory things, the better Muslim you are, not the opposite.
- I just don’t feel like it.
I’ve actually heard this from some girls. Well who can argue with that eh? - I just want a change.
In conclusion, I know putting on the Hijab is a huge step and changes your whole life. Believe it from someone who started late in life. I know there are some who rush into it but didn’t realize how hard it was going to be. They felt that something. That indefinable Inaaya to try to be a better Muslim and it gave them the motivation to start. It is a struggle, no doubt about it. Whether you’ve been wearing it 6 months or 6 years.
It’s not the end of the world if you take it off and yes you still are a good Muslim and can work towards being a better one. But try inshaAllah. Hijab is a good thing sent down from Allah for our own benefit. Use it as a stepping stone to becoming a better, more interesting, more spiritual, stronger, Muslim human being.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Things to try if you’re feeling bad about wearing Hijab:
- Review your knowledge about Hijab and your intentions about it.
- Talk to a knowledgeable sister that you look up to about it.
- Find some new hobbies and interests that help make you a better person on the inside.
- Go to the Mosque for a Halaqah or Jumah and just be with Muslims.
- Go out to dinner or hang out with other sisters who wear Hijab and bring up the topic.
- Try a new Hijab style or different types of Halal clothes. You can find plenty of ‘hijab styling’ videos on youtube that are really nice like these ones from a sister: http://www.youtube.com/Amenakin
- Have a girl’s party and dress up and wear whatever scandalous clothes and hair designs you like.
- Find more ways to up your Imaan.
- More ideas?