Sometimes I think women who act timid and excuse bad behavior
get walked over the most.
Do you have family close by?
If so maybe you can go visit them when you think your
husband is coming over and not be so 'available' to him.
That may not be considered a very 'Islamic' type response but
You have the right to be treated fairly, equally and with love and respect.
Stop being so timid and talk to that man.
(Talk, not beg or whine)
By the way if he married you without telling wife #1 didn't that clue you in
that his repect for wife (wives) may not be so great?
And will he tell you about #3?