// Wife Won't Read Qur'an Or Pray
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Abdullah (*
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« on: Feb 08, 2010 08:29 AM »


Asalaamu Alaikum. I'm a new muslim, so to speak, but i'm very dedicated to my faith. Unfortunatly, my wife doesn't have the same zeal for gaining Islamic knowledge. It's to the point where i have to beg her to read the Qur'an or even pray. She won't read any books related to Islam whatsoever and knows almost nothing about Islam. She's smart, but blatantly refuses to put forth an effort to learn or improve herself. I personally think she watches too much tv but i don't feel right telling her she needs to do something else. Could someone please give me some advice? Oh and by the way, i'm typing all of this on my cell phone so forgive me for any spelling or grammatical errors.

Then Which Of The Favors Of Your Lord Will You Deny?
Christine_1208
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« Reply #1 on: Feb 08, 2010 05:11 PM »

Assalam alaikom brother.

The best way to lead is by example. Do your prayers on time no matter what and continue to read Islamic information, and quran. Play it on a cd player or whatever you have. You can't force Islam into anothers heart. I am new too, and sometimes it is hard, you get into a rut. For me getting my children to pray and do more can be difficult. I have found out being gentle is the best way. When she sees you praying with out being late, sees you learning and listening to Qu'ran she might be more inclinded to join you. Always offer her to pray with you. If she says no, then pray alone, but always offer. Over time she will see the benefits of Allah through you. As Allah places more blessings and light within you, she might be attracted to that. Keep the doors of communication open with her, keep patience and I will pray for the two of you. You might be surprised one day she might just wake up to pray fajr with you. May Allah bless you, and guide your wife.

I believe in Islam like the sun rising, not because I see it but because by it, I see everything else.
CountlessBlessings
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« Reply #2 on: Feb 08, 2010 11:06 PM »

Assalamu alaikum,
I imagine that you must feel a lot of pain for your wife, that you feel she's going down the wrong path, and that you want to do everything in your power to help her get on the correct path.
However, the way you do this is going to determine everything.  You might not be aware of this, but it could be that the more you beg, advise and try to reason with her, the farther you're pushing her away, because she might feel that you're pushing things on her. Because you're her husband she might feel that you're trying to exert power over her and therefore will be even more resistant to the changes you're trying to lead her towards.   She might also feel that whatever she does do is for you and not for Allah and therefore not sincere, which is a very conflicting place for someone to be.
Be patient, kind and accepting, no matter what her behavior is, take things slow and encourage her to join you in prayers.  If she refuses don't reject her, that will make it less confusing as to her intentions and whom she is doing it for.
Gentleness is the key.   
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