Madinat al-Muslimeen Community -  "WHAT DO U DO ALL DAY" Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Apr 23, 2014 08:05 AM
Home Help Search Login Register
News: A rakah a rakah! My kingdom for a rakah!'


+  Madinat al-Muslimeen Community
|-+  Sis/Bros
| |-+  The Brother's Club Hangout
| | |-+  "WHAT DO U DO ALL DAY"
« previous next »
Pages: [1] 2 Go Down Print
Author Topic: "WHAT DO U DO ALL DAY"  (Read 7294 times)
peace
Sis
Sr. Member
*

Reps: 214
Posts: 315



« on: Apr 16, 2010 11:23 AM »


salaam to all my brothers!! thobebro
there is this male bro arabbeardbro malaybro arabbro sudanibro desibro fez peculiar thing that has irked me no end in the last few day.
I have been married three years......but to a kind of "nice guy" Smiley so I am not at a constant receiving end of this insightful query (ALHAMDULILLAH------ for I am not even blessed with the kind of patience that would require)  Undecided
But lots of women that range right from my aunts (who are all well educated having equally well educated husbands) to the doodhwali (milkwoman) whoes husband is a doodhwala have to face this baffeling question on daily basis from their husbands!!
I mean do  guys even have an idea how wives feel when at the end of the day in their master of the universe voice they ask :"You havnt done even this !! What do you do all day???"
OMG!! How do men summon the moral courage for this!!! Shocked
This is such a TOTALLY unanswerable and frustarating question that nothing else in negative marital conversation can parallel it.......
I believe that majority of women choose to remain quiet because their is nothing that wive's explaination can get into hubbie's head which  their own eyes and brains have not been able to and secondly the list of what they have done is sooooo overwhelemingly long that they really dont want to get started  with that.....
Women would love to get some reflections on this from Mars  Wink
Logged
Fozia
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reps: 1247
Posts: 2661



« Reply #1 on: Apr 16, 2010 11:35 AM »

salam


This reminds me of a joke, I cant find the exact wording of it but here goes;

A man comes home after a long day at work, only to find his front door open, he walks into the house to find the entire house in disarray, cushions on the floor, toys strewn every where, chairs upended, mess on the floors, on he goes thro to the kitchen to find cereal on the floor cupboard doors hanging open, and the cooker cold and the oven empty no signs or smell of cooked food anywhere, out in the garden his children are playing, in a completely filthy state and still in their pyjamas.
He gets very worried and calls for his wife, he goes up to the bedroom and finds his wife in bed curled up with a magazine, he rushes up to her and asks panic stricken, 'darling, what's happened are you ill?', to which she replies 'You know how every day you come home and ask me what I do all day?' 'Well today I didn't'


That's about the only way they'll learn I reckon...and then you'll end up with the mother of all rows on your hands!



Wassalaam
Logged

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
Hard2Hit
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reps: 159
Posts: 632


Taubah


WWW
« Reply #2 on: Apr 17, 2010 08:29 PM »

Salaams,

I have put this question to wifey at times. So what?

~splain me...
Logged

The knight doesn't wait when he's ill or has cancer brother, the knight fights on... He finds a strategy, changes tactics, and hits hard.
rahma
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reps: 739
Posts: 543



« Reply #3 on: Apr 18, 2010 01:55 PM »

I guess it all depends on how you ask the question.

When you come home are you like:

What did you do all day?  (I'm interested in your life, so tell me how things went today.)

Or

Are you like:

What did you do all day?  (What you do around the home isn't of value and you are a worthless person.)


I'm going to assume you asked the first way, Brother.  But there are a lot of husbands out there who ask the second way...

Logged
Hard2Hit
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reps: 159
Posts: 632


Taubah


WWW
« Reply #4 on: Apr 18, 2010 06:44 PM »

Salams, Well there is a third way as well (and there might be more).

I mostly ask this to make wifey realize that she waisted time, but I said it in a friendly manner with an intention to help her improve. So in a way im telling her about something wrong in her (2) and i'm doing it with good neeyah and soft tone (1).

Wasalam.
Logged

The knight doesn't wait when he's ill or has cancer brother, the knight fights on... He finds a strategy, changes tactics, and hits hard.
Fozia
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reps: 1247
Posts: 2661



« Reply #5 on: Apr 18, 2010 11:08 PM »

salam

Right H2H, you actually do it the first way actually (altho you're far too up yourself to have noticed apparently).

Most actually no any person who walks into the house and asks that question of their spouse is asking that question the first way.


For those of you who think you can do a better job, you should send your wife to their mothers for a week, take a week off work, and then proceed to keep house in the immaculate manner you think your wives should, btw to make it completely fair you should have all your children home with you too, you should do all the house work and care for both your children, and produce gourmet home cooked meals.

Try it for a week, you don't clock off at five pm and clock on after nine am (or whatever working hours you usually keep), you do not get weekends off, oh yes and do remember to be dressed immaculately and looking beautiful and unharrassed for wife who will come by and dine with you in the evening whilst 'lovingly' pointing out all the bits you missed, all the while begining her greeting with 'What have you been doing all day'. She will also require you not to moan about your day to her, because well I'm sure she'll be stressed from travelling between her parents house to yours or something equally puerile.
So remember to be cheerful, non complaining, pleasing to look at, have a good meal on the table, have the house immaculate including all the bits you've noticed out of their place in the past Roll Eyes ensure the children are clean and well fed and angelic so she can kiss them goodnight, remember don't stress her out!

Grow up H2H, your wife is taking care of a young toddler, a newborn, helps with your internet business and she doesn't get pay, benefits or weekends off. Think yourself lucky!



Wassalaam
Logged

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
Hard2Hit
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reps: 159
Posts: 632


Taubah


WWW
« Reply #6 on: Apr 19, 2010 07:06 AM »

Salaams,

I'm lucky for so many reasons that you just can not know Wink

We have maids in the house to take care of many house hold chores. Wifey does take care of our little one, along with taking care of our elder one as well, yet the reason I put the question to her occasionally is due to some tasks that'll take like 10 minutes to finish, but keep pending for days. I put the question to her to encourage her, for her own studies and regular workouts.

My wife doesn't have to cook or clean. She doesn't have to do laundry or iron anybody's dresses. She is living like a princess hamdulillah. And I dont complain about anything (well at times I do, but hey, i'm only human), I just try to motivate her at times that she should learn cooking at least, and in my attempt to motivate her, I did this: http://jannah.org/madina/index.php?topic=3448.0

She helps me with the website business by giving her nice ideas. I handle the specifics myself.

So yeah, you can tell me to grow up again.

At times you sisters sound like Feminazis...
Logged

The knight doesn't wait when he's ill or has cancer brother, the knight fights on... He finds a strategy, changes tactics, and hits hard.
Fozia
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reps: 1247
Posts: 2661



« Reply #7 on: Apr 19, 2010 07:52 AM »

salam


I know you did the cooking stint to encourage your wife.

Sorry I got irritated.

It takes pretty much every waking minute chasing around after two young children, it's physically and mentally exhausting, I know, even now when my girls are off school I find the little things that take minutes to do, just get forgotten in the general chaos that children generate.

Go easy on your wife, you can never know how much a person does, till you live their life.




Wassalaam
Logged

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
Hard2Hit
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reps: 159
Posts: 632


Taubah


WWW
« Reply #8 on: Apr 19, 2010 08:44 AM »

Listen, I know that you are saying this in favor of my wife, and I got no issue with that. But while doing so, you are assuming nothing but negative about men, even after that explanation in my last post. This is quite worrying in fact.

I might be wrong here to suggest this but, it seems to me that you are turning into a man hater, and its not good. Not all men are morons like me shadyguy

Wasalam.
Logged

The knight doesn't wait when he's ill or has cancer brother, the knight fights on... He finds a strategy, changes tactics, and hits hard.
Fozia
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reps: 1247
Posts: 2661



« Reply #9 on: Apr 19, 2010 09:03 AM »

salam


H2H I have two words for you!!!


You've tried this before, oh you are turning into a bitter man hater, I'm not actually, you just come across as  monumental misogynist jerk that's all.

And I stand by my comment that you will never know the amount of work that goes into caring for two young chidlren till you've done it yourself. Which you will never fully be able to anyway, if your wife is nursing your baby (which is also very physically and mentally draining and painful!).

Why do you find it hard to accept that caring for young children is work? Mebbe because it will show you up as being a complete twit?


I don't think all men are like you, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, until they prove otherwise.



Wassalaam
Logged

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
Hard2Hit
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reps: 159
Posts: 632


Taubah


WWW
« Reply #10 on: Apr 19, 2010 09:35 AM »

Salaams,

Thanks for the two words. I appreciate that Smiley

You are again assuming way too much, and all negative at that! Did I ever tell you that 'in what timeframe' or situation I put that question to my wife? Not in a situation where she is all exhausted and needs support, not in a situation where she is sick and tired of her daily routine, not in a situation where its abnormal to put that type of question. Coz hey, I got something that looks like a brain in me skull.

I rather choose to do it in a mushy way! Like first giving her a shoulder or head massage, or some TLC, and then telling her that such and such is pending for so long, and that she shouldn't have wasted those many hours on the internet and should have done such and such 5 min chore instead. Or she should be rather studying, than watching Indian Soaps (that I hate to the bone).

I wash Ayesha most of the time, feed her at times, and rub wifey's legs and feet 'often'. My arms are still in shape due to giving all those massages, as they would otherwise turn into auntie-arms since I haven't worked out in ages.

So you see, i'm a different type of moron shadyguy
Logged

The knight doesn't wait when he's ill or has cancer brother, the knight fights on... He finds a strategy, changes tactics, and hits hard.
JustOne
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reps: 172
Posts: 543


« Reply #11 on: Apr 19, 2010 10:32 AM »

I was going to mention the nursing thing too... It's hard work.  I believe it's something women can demand financial compensation for (just to describe to you that it is ACTUAL work)...

My husband hasn't actually used those words ever, but...

When my daughter was about 2 months old... I made a bottle for her, and took her to my husband, who was engrossed in GeoTV (the bane of my existence, I tell you)... and I asked him very politely if he would like to feed her.  His response? "Um, no.. I just don't think it seems like an exciting activity" (I don't know what he was expecting with a newborn, frankly all they do is poop, sleep, eat and cry... and he refused to help in the diaper department)...

I asked him again, he refused again. I wanted to use some of my "colorful american vocabulary" (his words) to let him know that I wanted to take a shower, and that he has no choice... but i sucked it in, fed the baby, and didn't shower at the time (of course, I used it in a later argument)...

The point is - while you probably think you're being helpful by asking her if she did HER workout, being the princess and all, she should have found time... you could maybe draft that better and say, "do you want me to look after the girls while you workout?"  And no... saying, "my mom could look after the girls while you workout"... just doesn't cut it.  

I think it's cultural - it's all these years of being told that you're such a hero, it's difficult to find equality with your wife, because you've been told you're a little superstar by your parents... and don't tell me you haven't been fed that message - i know how it works in desi households.  

If those tasks take 10 minutes, why don't you do them yourself?  If I pile up my daughter's washed, ironed and folded laundry on top of dresser, my husband will come home and casually mention that the house is messy.  I appreciate his sense of cleanliness, but really? Do it yourself if it bothers you so much.

I once unpacked 3 suitcases from a long trip and left the empty suitcases outside of the storage room.  He took 3 weeks to put them away.. I didn't nag him until 2 weeks had passed, and his response??? "Do you think I go to work to have a good time?  I come home tired you know..."

Well great... let's apply the reciprocity principle, shall we? That's all I ask.

And by the way, her giving you suggestions about your website deserves the same amount of appreciation that my husband gets when he folds his own socks (that's the only thing I leave in a pile for him to do himself).... or that you would probably get for playing with your toddler for half an hour after you come home from work!

Wasalaam.

P.S. you posted your last message while I typed out the above... can i just say yuck... please keep your TLC details to yourself Smiley
Logged
peace
Sis
Sr. Member
*

Reps: 214
Posts: 315



« Reply #12 on: Apr 19, 2010 11:02 AM »

sr just one.....u stole words from my mouth  in your PS........
And I was just pondering over husbands who say this "what do u thing....in a sarcastic, critical , complaining unpleasant Angry manner when i started this post.........br, H2H claims to belong in the other brigade and has used the opportunity well for what we say in hindi "apne muh miyan mitthu....""
anyways women would love to have husbands like our br H2H. (though I wish we could get some words from wifey.....) Grin
Logged
Hard2Hit
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reps: 159
Posts: 632


Taubah


WWW
« Reply #13 on: Apr 19, 2010 11:11 AM »

The point is - while you probably think you're being helpful by asking her if she did HER workout, being the princess and all, she should have found time... you could maybe draft that better and say, "do you want me to look after the girls while you workout?"  And no... saying, "my mom could look after the girls while you workout"... just doesn't cut it.  

Or why dont you girls give it a rest Smiley In fact, you would probably find negative in anything that a man would jot down in this thread, until we do it in a totally submissive way as if we are pheasants of our wives!

Come on... in my house we have an army of resources to take care of the girls, i'm just one soldier of that army.


I think it's cultural - it's all these years of being told that you're such a hero, it's difficult to find equality with your wife, because you've been told you're a little superstar by your parents... and don't tell me you haven't been fed that message - i know how it works in desi households.  

Can any brothers join in please? Or I would again have to deal with all these sisters on my own!!

You girls are throwing sweeping generalizations at me, which is making me want to throw one back at you... You are emotional as an average girl out there. Take that Wink

And no, nobody has been telling me im such a hero. Me thinking such about meself is another thing though! (Mullah hero  bro ). So yeah, I haven't been 'fed' that message growing up.

If those tasks take 10 minutes, why don't you do them yourself?  If I pile up my daughter's washed, ironed and folded laundry on top of dresser, my husband will come home and casually mention that the house is messy.  I appreciate his sense of cleanliness, but really? Do it yourself if it bothers you so much.

Coz I just can't study or workout for her! I can not stitch her dresses that need a little needle work! And the things that I 'can' help her with, I handle those all the time... like tiding up our room, washing our elder daughter Ayesha et al.

And here are all you girls trying to perfect men like me who aren't doing a bad job in the first place? How so very sexist of you.


I once unpacked 3 suitcases from a long trip and left the empty suitcases outside of the storage room.  He took 3 weeks to put them away.. I didn't nag him until 2 weeks had passed, and his response??? "Do you think I go to work to have a good time?  I come home tired you know..."

Well great... let's apply the reciprocity principle, shall we? That's all I ask.

My shortcomings aren't your husbands shortcomings, your husband's shortcomings aren't my shortcomings, and shortcomings of both of us combined aren't the bads of the whole 'man' kind.

Man, all these feminist articles that are flowing on the internet have really gotten to you women I think.


P.S. you posted your last message while I typed out the above... can i just say yuck... please keep your TLC details to yourself Smiley

Hate the game, not the player shadyguy
Logged

The knight doesn't wait when he's ill or has cancer brother, the knight fights on... He finds a strategy, changes tactics, and hits hard.
Hard2Hit
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reps: 159
Posts: 632


Taubah


WWW
« Reply #14 on: Apr 19, 2010 11:15 AM »

br, H2H claims to belong in the other brigade and has used the opportunity well for what we say in hindi "apne muh miyan mitthu....""
anyways women would love to have husbands like our br H2H. (though I wish we could get some words from wifey.....) Grin


I dont claim anything. I tell it the way it is. And my wife has all my passwords and knows my history with this forum. She freely visits my personal FB account and has her own as well. Anyone wanting an inside scoop can add her to FB.

As an aside, i've been trying to hook her up with some of oldskool madinites. Will do that when we get out of the current heated debates.

So bring it on!! duel
Logged

The knight doesn't wait when he's ill or has cancer brother, the knight fights on... He finds a strategy, changes tactics, and hits hard.
Fozia
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reps: 1247
Posts: 2661



« Reply #15 on: Apr 19, 2010 11:31 AM »

salam


Your replies are emotional too, you're outraged that any of us would take exception to your behaviour as you consider your behaviour above reproach.


We have our own tailor to stitch suits for us, or one of the staff will stitch on buttons or smaller things, because frankly altho I have the knowhow I do not have the desire to sit and stitch suits, nor the expertise to sew the really gorgeous stylish ones either actually.


On the other hand excersising I love love love working out, however I prefer to workout last thing in the evening, then have a really hot bath and pray and bed, I find this order prevents serious muscular pain the next morning.

What kind of workout does your wife do, maybe she just doesn't enjoy it, try something else instead? Also how long has it been since she had her baby, it's not wise to do excersise before six months are up as it could prevent the stomach muscles from properly coming back together, then she'll have a world of problems!!!!! I'm serious we are given leaflets and notes etc when we have babies here, along with excersise leaflets with warnings not to do them before six months!


I personally do not wish to have had, nor ever have a husband like H2H.....




Wassalaam
Logged

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
JustOne
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reps: 172
Posts: 543


« Reply #16 on: Apr 19, 2010 11:45 AM »

Okay this is my last reply in this regard...

I too am very happy that your shortcomings are not my husband's shortcomings....

Because one of your shortcomings is that you feel you have none (from everything you have said thus far), and that you have a justification for everything you do.  

In your defense (and it was difficult to find something to say in your favor), I will say that I get how "what did you do all day" could be asked politely and as an encouragement to your wife.

Wasalaam.
Logged
Hard2Hit
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reps: 159
Posts: 632


Taubah


WWW
« Reply #17 on: Apr 19, 2010 12:15 PM »


Your replies are emotional too, you're outraged that any of us would take exception to your behaviour as you consider your behaviour above reproach.

I'm not outraged. I'm smiling... see -> Grin

We have our own tailor to stitch suits for us, or one of the staff will stitch on buttons or smaller things, because frankly altho I have the knowhow I do not have the desire to sit and stitch suits, nor the expertise to sew the really gorgeous stylish ones either actually.

Oh please! I'm not talking about stitching a complete dress. I must be dumb and must have very bad communication skills that i'm unable to make you understand what a "little needle work" means! Its only tantamount to stitching a button and the likes.

Dont forget that my wife is a princess, she doesn't stitch clothes!



What kind of workout does your wife do, maybe she just doesn't enjoy it, try something else instead? Also how long has it been since she had her baby, it's not wise to do excersise before six months are up as it could prevent the stomach muscles from properly coming back together, then she'll have a world of problems!!!!! I'm serious we are given leaflets and notes etc when we have babies here, along with excersise leaflets with warnings not to do them before six months!

It was before she was pregnant with our second daughter. And just the regular aerobics+orbitrek.



I personally do not wish to have had, nor ever have a husband like H2H.....

My wife used to say the same before marriage. In fact she thought i'm really an angry person, so she even said a couple of bad things to my mother in order to avoid marriage. I on the other hand just had certain requirements in a girl, and it could be any girl, not specifically my cousin (now wife). But now she doesn't spend even one day without me, says i'm the best thing that ever happened to her, and all our extended family knows this fact about us.

You just can not know people over internet. I could be lying about myself all these years, I could be really a pathetic human being, I could be only average or I could be a real life Hero. Who knows!

These examples from my personal life weren't presented to toot my horn, it just unfolded like that 'cause I was trying to find out whether how I put the question is acceptable to you sisters. Guess its not... and we can agree to disagree.



Because one of your shortcomings is that you feel you have none (from everything you have said thus far), and that you have a justification for everything you do.  

Lets just say that I rock! In all seriousness though, I intentionally tried to tick off you sisters, in jest.

Wasalam.
Logged

The knight doesn't wait when he's ill or has cancer brother, the knight fights on... He finds a strategy, changes tactics, and hits hard.
lucid
Bro
Sr. Member
*

Reps: 156
Posts: 387



« Reply #18 on: Apr 19, 2010 10:28 PM »

H2H,

Because you have no sisters, you probably don't understand that much about girls.  

If you had sisters, you would know that all the things you said, hinted at, insinuated, were pretty outrageous (no insult intended).  You're just on a totally different wavelength.  In fact, you're pretty much an advert for why a girl should not marry a very religious muslim, or a muslim at all (again no insult intended, I just know that's what all the girls in my extended family would say).  There is simply too much cultural baggage and misinterpreted religious baggage.

Its quite interesting that this is a pretty general problem among religious muslim males. Perhaps this is because modern day religious books/authorities downplay the importance of women, and because in muslim societies, men are treated far better than females.  

At the end of the day, however, one has to also blame YOU muslim women.  YOU actually in some bizarre way like and admire the showboating, ego-mad, self-centered behaviour that so many muslim men display. You marry them, make excuses for them, love them, and bring up your sons just like them.  

This always amazed me.  But I finally understood it once i  frequented this site and realized that virtually everybody here disliked me, but were very fond of people like Bhaloo and other confrontational types.

Interesting,....,eh?

btw: you girls should also care about some of things us guys care about.  like football and soccer.  but you thumb your noses at us. so why should we care about the things you care about?  
Logged
Fozia
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reps: 1247
Posts: 2661



« Reply #19 on: Apr 19, 2010 10:44 PM »

salam


Lucid I've always liked you!

I think you labour under the misconception everyone dislikes you, but most of us actually do like you.

I've disagreed with some of your views in the past, but I'd say that was a universal thing, you cannot agree with everyone all the time.

I always thought you were very funny!

I watch football, but only the final match and only if England are in the running (doesn't happen often!).  When I was married, I used to keep an eye on the cricket because that's what ex was interested in, he'd even call me at work to find out the score, I learned all about overs and innings and runs for his sake..... Some of us do/did try our hardest.


BTW, I believe H2H has one sister. I don't think he was being intentionally mean in his posts.



Wassalaam
Logged

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
Hard2Hit
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reps: 159
Posts: 632


Taubah


WWW
« Reply #20 on: Apr 19, 2010 11:43 PM »

Salaams,

Dude... read, for the sake of thy lord! First carefully read whats posted and then comment iA Smiley

Hope you are doing good btw. And since you've already posted your views, let me address them, and while i'm at
 it, please take any remarks that sound harsh as mere friendly jabs.

H2H,

Because you have no sisters, you probably don't understand that much about girls.  

If you had sisters, you would know that all the things you said, hinted at, insinuated, were pretty outrageous (no insult intended).  You're just on a totally different wavelength.  

Even though your opening remark invalidates your understanding of my posts, because I do have a sister who is about to get divorced... and I did mention it in a recent post too... Yet I would like you to point out what in my posts was "pretty outrageous" ?? Is it me 'occasionally' putting the said question to my wife, or what? I would really like you or anybody else to enlighten me on this.
 
Quote
In fact, you're pretty much an advert for why a girl should not marry a very religious muslim, or a muslim at all (again no insult intended, I just know that's what all the girls in my extended family would say).  There is simply too much cultural baggage and misinterpreted religious baggage.

Wow! And what is that misinterpreted religious baggage that you speak of dear friend? What tainted or extreme 'version of islam' did I present in this thread that made you write the quoted? Because only after pointing that out, you would be able to back your argument with proof!

The second thing I would take issue with is your generalization about 'very religious' muslims. But before I move on, let me just say that i'm your average moslem out there, i'm not 'very religious'. Let me also take into account what you said next...

Quote
Its quite interesting that this is a pretty general problem among religious muslim males. Perhaps this is because modern day religious books/authorities downplay the importance of women, and because in muslim societies, men are treated far better than females.  

So, did you extrapolate from your interaction with some religious people, to find data points outside your social circle, and came to the solid conclusion that all religious muslims must have same mindset? How about I break it to you that there could be as many mindsets in the world as big the number of all human beings is. The level of religiosity varies from person to person, practices and what different muslims believe in varies from one fiqh to another. Even within one fiqh scholars have different opinions, and people take different opinions from different scholars to form a larger set of principles to live their lives by. Then how come you, in your right mind, can paint all religious men with the same brush? Like you might have come across only 250 odd religious men in your whole life perhaps ??

I await to be enlightened. More so, since its not the first time i've heard this 'religious men = cave men" song from you.

Wasalam.
Logged

The knight doesn't wait when he's ill or has cancer brother, the knight fights on... He finds a strategy, changes tactics, and hits hard.
lucid
Bro
Sr. Member
*

Reps: 156
Posts: 387



« Reply #21 on: Apr 20, 2010 01:06 AM »

assalamualaikum

i'm sorry you felt insulted.  i didn't mean any of it as an insult.

the cultural baggage and stuff comment was meant as a general comment. only the first 2 sentences of the second paragraph were personally directed.  everything else was meant as a general comment.

however, it is impossible to gloss over the fact that there is a strong correlation between religious muslims and anti-women attitudes.  it is an extremely unfortunate fact which is borne of shoddy culture and shoddy and superficial religious scholarship

you can say i haven't met enough religious muslims.  i have spent my whole life with religious muslims.  nevertheless, you don't don't need to meet 10,000 people to make a judgement.  a sample size of even 100 is large enough if you find 40 or 45 people are prejudiced, to make a fairly strong statement.

may allah bless you with all that is good and guide us all and protect us all from our weaknesses. 

i apologize again and pray that all goes well with your sister.





Logged
BrKhalid
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reps: 273
Posts: 1352



« Reply #22 on: Apr 20, 2010 07:34 AM »

Asalaamu Alaikum bro


Gosh, so much to comment on in this thread but I’ll suffice myself by just making one point.


Belittling someone, or their actions, or their beliefs (be it explicitly or implicitly) can be a slippery road indeed.


Even if one feels there is a justified need to do so, one should still tread carefully in case the meritorious action is outweighed by a greater harm generated.
Logged

Say: "O ye my servants who believe! Fear your Lord, good is (the reward) for those who do good in this world. Spacious is God's earth! those who patiently persevere will truly receive a reward without measure!" [39:10]
Jaihoon
Jaihoon
Bro
Sr. Member
*

Reps: 214
Posts: 362



WWW
« Reply #23 on: Apr 20, 2010 10:37 AM »

:"You havnt done even this !! What do you do all day???"

I cud only read this with a  Cheesy

(next time i wud be more considerate when i wish to ask the same question   Wink

Logged

Hard2Hit
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reps: 159
Posts: 632


Taubah


WWW
« Reply #24 on: Apr 20, 2010 07:39 PM »

Salaams,

I never expect or want people to apologize. A simple "oh now I get it" is enough to allow me to let it go.


however, it is impossible to gloss over the fact that there is a strong correlation between religious muslims and anti-women attitudes.  it is an extremely unfortunate fact which is borne of shoddy culture and shoddy and superficial religious scholarship


But the question is, why did you choose this thread to say the quoted? Like you could have posted it in the "this or that" thread as well. Why here?

I take it that some anti-women attitude was exhibited in this thread by a religious muslim. Q+] Please point out where, and to whom?

And that attitude made a non-religious muslim (?) come to women's rescue. Q+2] Should I start attributing all the bads of average non-religious muslims, to this non-religious muslim rescuer then ?

Thanks for your good wishes for my sister though.

Wasalam.
Logged

The knight doesn't wait when he's ill or has cancer brother, the knight fights on... He finds a strategy, changes tactics, and hits hard.
Pages: [1] 2 Go Up Print 
« previous next »
Jump to:  




Madinat al-Muslimeen Community - "WHAT DO U DO ALL DAY"

Nostalgia racing theme by © Mustang forum. Powered by SMF 1.1.18 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines